Customer Reviews

Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life

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If a man or a woman reads the first chapter, and fear or deep sadness come up, this intensive workbook may be a path to deep healing. Gurian displays an enlightened understanding of the mother/son relationship in the theory portion of the book. Following a mythopoetic metaphor, the second half workbook will put a dedicated man well on the way to reclaiming his masculinity from his shadow. Men and women will gain more compassion and understanding of the opposite sex. An excellent book when coupled with a willingess on the reader's part to not get immersed in the study of wounds, and to move on in life through action.

This book was tremendously helpful in helping me to understand how my Man's Mother shaped his life, why he has such difficulty with intimate relationships and what perhaps he can do to help himself. Thank you Paul Gurian! A library must have for any woman who finds herself involved with a Peter Pan, a perfectionist, or a misogynist.

Having just used the "Search Inside the Book" feature on Amazon to look at parts of another of Gurian's books (about choosing movies and books for boys and teens), I used it again to get a feel for this book. It convinced me to buy it, just as it convinced me NOT to buy that other book.

While browsing through sections of this book (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers...)I was intrigued by many of the points made. I wanted to know more, including how our society short changes boys in all sorts of way, major and minor, resulting in men who may be searching for a stronger sense of what being "male" in our society means.

One of the most crucial relationships is between a boy and his mother, as well as an active, engaged father. What I particularly liked was the emphasis on helping men heal past wounds, on building from the here and now to the future. I didn't find this book to be a "Blame the Mother" type book but more of an exploration of what can go right - and wrong - in families and , most particularly, between mother and son.

The insights I got from this book will affect my future behavior with my sons and I hope that males who are now living on their own but with unresolved issues with their mothers find solace, support and healing from reading this book.

I confess that I found some of the language to be a bit high-flown for my taste but that is just a very personal opinion and it may not bother other readers. Get past that and go for the nuggets of wisdom that are in this book.

I would strongly suggest readers also get a copy of the book and/or DVD Raising Cain because the it addresses some of the concerns the author has raised about how to raise boy in a system that isn't often designed to best meet their needs (in particular, the average public or private school).

I guess I would divide this book into two different parts; The first half of the book I would describe as genuinely insightful at times - It makes a lot of sense to me that as you grow up you need to evaluate the effect the relationships with your parents has had on how you relate to other people. After all, that's where you learned to relate to other people. As a dude in his 20's I found the first half of the book insightful for the maternal aspect of that evaluation- it helped me put some words to the insights I needed to have.

The second half of the book I'm pretty darn uncomfortable with. The Jungian-ish meditations are freaky. I struggled with them for a while - first suspecting that they were alright, and then coming to the conclusion that they're dangerous. In hindsight I wish I had just skipped that half of the book. I think if you find yourself talking to "spiritual characters" in you sub-conscious, you ought to ask yourself who or what you're actually talking to.... For that reason I would say read with caution; if you're prone to swallowing everything you find in print, avoid it.

Would it not seem common sense self preservation to politely run not walk in the other direction from any man who wants you to know this about him right off the bat? Mother-bound men in literature and film from Oedipus to Norman Bates -- and every sentimental serial killer with a picture of his mother on his nightstand in between -- have yet to teach even 21st Century women the hard lessons in steering clear of this terrible spidermother tragedy. Should have long been a classic in popular psychology; recommended.

If you like nice theories, this is a great book. If you are objective and want to solve problems and apply knowledge, forget it. This is one more book about initiation, mythology, the goddess, quests, the sacred and so on. Good for academics.

This book does an excellent explanation of exactly how I felt toward my mother, and helped me to start to release my victimized perception of myself regarding her. The philosophies about hurting nature as a result of my mom seemed quite out of place, everywhere they were mentioned, but nearly everything else was well placed.

I received the book well within the time frame stated. The book was in excellent shape and I'm happy with my purchase.

Ithink that mohers has always a close relation ship with their sons more than man has.WHY? because the mother stays much time at home than man can stay ,that's why paul was influenced by his mother(he talk with her - he sleep with her )