Customer Reviews

Mother's Day Is over

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When I first read this book decades ago, I knew immediately that this woman was right about motherhood. I did have one child, who is now grown and turned out very well, but the experience was eerily and exactly what this book predicted. I must have read hundreds of books on parenthood while I was struggling with it in the day-to-day, but it's telling that after nearly 30 years, this is *only* one I remember--for its truthfulness. It's shameful this is out of print now; it ought to be required reading for all young girls.

I read this book when I was feeling stressed out over Motherhood. (I was a very young Mom with two children) That was over 15 years ago and I still remember so much about this book. The author makes the point that being a mother is not all sweetness and lace - but self-sacrifice and more self-sacrifice. She makes a good point - that Motherhood is not for everyone. It is a decision that should be made carefully and thoughtfully and no one should ever be pressured into having a child.

Around this same time, Ann Lander's survey came out - where she asked her readers - "If you could do it all over again, would you have children?" And a large majority said "NO!".

This book explains the reasons some folks regret having children.

I read this work a year or so ago, and have never forgotten about it. I am searching for copies for every mother I know, it was that good. It made me laugh, cry, and feel not so alone in resenting my children at times. It is the most realistic portrayal of MY motherhood experiences I have ever read. If, at times you feel guilty and not up to the demands of motherhood, this book is for you.

I have read a lot of books on the topic of motherhood. There are A LOT of them out there these days. Merrit Ingman's "Inconsolable", Vicki Glembocki's "The Second Nine Months", Rachel Cusk's "A Life's Work", and Susan Maushart's "Mask of Motherhood" to name a few. None of them would I recommend as quickly and without reservation as I do "Mother's Day Is Over".

This book, despite being a few decades older than all of the aforementioned - or perhaps because of it - presents so much more honestly the truth and realities of unspoken day to day tedium of a job that is oft ignored, even post-feminist revolution. Sometimes comical, sometimes brutal, the stories within this book whether Radl's personal accounts or those of mothers who have anonymously written her over the years are always relevant, and they are presented with a clear, no-nonsense tone and without the apologetics or tongue-in-cheek manner that so often writers resort to when they fear their message may come across as being 'too harsh.'

This book addresses a myriad of issues that inevitably touch the lives of most mothers to one degree or another, from breastfeeding, to the baby who never stops crying, to the way that endless noise and bickering and tantrums can grate on you until you feel like you're slowly but surely going mad, to the issue of bullying and inadequate learning in public schools to the fact that parenthood is a job that doesn't just end at eighteen when the kids move out. Moreover, Radl addresses each issue effectively, her voice never falters, she never retreats from difficult topics and emotions.

I am truly glad that she took the time, when both her children were young as mine are now, to record the overwhelming responsibility and the unexpected feelings that accompany the endless job that is mothering, and the sense that we have all been duped by the media and the code of secrecy amongst those have been there. It's a shame this book is out of print, but it's worth every penny to locate that used copy if you're a struggling mom who feels alone - and perhaps even more so if you're a woman debating whether you want to bring children into the world.

I wish I had read this before having children. Had my decisions remained the same I would have entered my new reality prepared, and perhaps the loss of my personhood coupled with the 24 hour per day demands of two amazing, beautiful creatures whom I love (but often don't like) would have been less unexpected, more manageable.

These other reviewers are exactly right. If you read a dozen child rearing how-to books and another dozen child psychology books and Mother's Day is Over then Mother's Day is Over will be the one, the only one that will stick with you for the rest of your life no matter how old your children are. Don't let anyone pressure you to have a child if you do not really want to. Get your hands on a copy of this book before you made the decision to reproduce. It will show you the cold hard facts behind the Motherhood Myth.

If you wouldn't want to trade your children for a barrel full of diamonds but sometimes you just get so 'burnt out' with parenting, you could cry, then this book is a good read. It really does explain a lot of the tough part of parenting. Not just staying up late at night with a kid who has an ear infection. It's not about the sleep you lose. It's about the imperfect edges of the experience of having children in your life. Especially, when you think it's just going to be one big love fest!

Shirley L. Radl
Mother's Day is Over

(New York: Charterhouse, 1973) 234 pages

Motherhood demythologized by a mother of two.
Based on interviews with about 200 mothers.
This book should be read by all women
who are romantic about motherhood
--to see what it is really like--
and by all mothers who feel guilty
about being terrible mothers.

If you want to read similar books,
search the Internet for:
"Books Exploring the Decision to Have Children".

I was 20 when I read this book and it scared me so bad that I put off having children until I was 37. Finally I started trying only to find out that I was infertile. I am now 42 and have 2 adopted children from China that are the joy of my life. I urge women reading this to consider that some decisions are irrevocable and just because the stars have kids at 48 doesn't mean that YOU will be able to without spending a king's ransom on dangerous fertility treatments.