Customer Reviews

Motocross Zombies from Hell

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
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2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Motocross Zombies From Hell is a 2007 film about three friends and their adventures during a motocross meet in a California desert. There are zombies riding in this event, and their manager is Satan. Plot synopsis complete.

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever. If you're reading this, you probably don't know me, so I iterate to you that when I say this is the worst movie I have ever seen, it truly is the worst movie I have ever seen. I'm not the type of guy that constantly proclaims every event in my life excessively, like a teenager. Phrases like, "this is the best song ever!", or, "it was the worst thing that ever happened to me!" are not in my wheelhouse. I'm not a fan. So, I need you to really feel me when I tell you that this is, in fact, the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire lifetime.

MZFH is filmed with what I believe to be the same aud/vid equipment used for cheap pornography and the soundtrack is atrociously bad. Half of the movie is shot track-side amidst debilitating dust swirls so the viewer can watch seemingly endless loops of entry-level motorcycle racing unwind in Hell's own tedium while tinny guitar riffs flop around flaccidly before dying despised.

The actors aren't. Period. And it's depressing that they tried. The writer of this film needs to be reprimanded and the director should feel defeated, sad, and broke because of what he's done, here. The earth is worse off because of this movie. I'm worse off because of this movie.

The project is so bad, but not a good bad. I wanted good bad. Obviously, when someone without a major head injury comes across a title like, "Motocross Zombies From Hell" in their local video store, they don't pick it up because they expect a brilliantly made film. They get it because watching the result of a movie made under a $10,000 budget is often hilarious and very rewarding. That's it. This hillock of bad decisions, though, doesn't fit into that endearing category. It's just bad.

The zombies are weak, and blood, for the first time, looked really expensive.

This is a blackout of fail and loss. The only redeeming value, for me, is that I finally get to say, with real conviction, that I have finally seen the worst movie to date.

Which is actually kind of huge, now that I think about it.

- t

I enjoy zombies. I enjoy bad B movies. This thing is just a failure. I can't believe a company actually distributed this. I could of filmed this myself with a VHS camcorder and it still would of looked better. Avoid at all costs.

I rate this move a big fat "0". I bought this movie because my whole family is into motocross and I thought there might be some good racing footage. To my utter horror, this was a poorly made (looked homemade) in my opinion soft porn, terribly acted piece of garbage. We turned the move off after about three minutes and disposed of the movie in the trash . What a waste of hard earned money. There should be some kind of warning to go along with the movie description, so no one gets ripped off like I did.

I am going to forego my regular review format, as I find that it isn't necessary.

Just know that this movie is one of the BIGGEST pieces of crap to have ever graced a DVD. There simply is NO reason to watch this movie. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about this movie is complete and utter garbage. An insult to the genre. Even the director / writer was embarrassed by it and only used his initials. You would be better off to just stare at a blank t.v. screen for 102 minutes. Seriously.

Amazon needs to seriously consider adding a "No Stars" option.