Customer Reviews

The Mountain Men's Breakthrough Wolf Short Sleeve Tee,Noir,Medium

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

The total fulfillment of wearing this shirt was only matched by the unquenchable yearning to wear two of them at once. In a moment of weakness, I ordered a second wolf shirt. I tried wear both at the same time, one on top of the other. Unfortunately the two wolves started to combine into one, potentially becoming a dangerous singularity of awesomeness.

The only answer was to wear the second shirt as a pants-substitute. If you turn the shirt upside-down the arm holes become leg-holes. The only problem is that the upside-down shirt does not stay up. So I wear a blue belt that represents a wild mountain lake and pretend that one wolf is the reflection of the other. Additionally the neck, aka `utility' hole has come in handy on three occasions.

So a lot of people are complaining that there aren't enough wolves on the shirt. That's because this wolf ate all the other wolves. I got this shirt about a week ago with some Tuscan Whole Milk and a Three Wolf Moon shirt. When the box got there, the three wolves had been gruesomely murdered by a stampede of Tuscan cows and the Breakthrough Wolf had drunk all the Tuscan Whole Milk (it was spilled all over the front). So, after I managed to wash out the Tuscan whole milk, I tried on the shirt. My wife was washing dishes at the time and she suddenly paused, gasped and said, "Did you feel that?" I asked her what she meant and she turned to me with a sort of...well, I'm not sure how to describe her look - wistful, maybe? She turned back to the dishes and said, "Nothing, nevermind."

So, that night, I went out for a few minutes for my usual crime-fighting rounds. I drained a glass of Tuscan Whole milk and I was about to sprint off to find evildoers when I heard my wife open the door behind me. I turned and she said, "Dear? Can you come into the bedroom for a minute? I want to try something."

Well, suffice to say she tried it several times and it took a good deal longer than a minute. After four days of continual, passionate lovemaking, I stumbled out of the house and defeated the majority of the criminal population singlehandedly. When I came back home a few hours later, my wife told me she was pregnant (and we've been trying).

I'm pretty sure that one wolf is enough. I heard rumors that the Three Wolf Moon shirt has a problem with Tuscan Whole Milk, but this situation is quite the opposite with the Breakthrough Wolf tee.

PROS: Enhanced libido and virility; superhuman strength; the ability to call upon the bithin' wolf on the front

CONS: That damn wolf drinks all my Tuscan Whole Milk.

Great T, good quality, and the most amazing wolflike picture. Some people will find it intimidating, good for playing tennis.

But with this one, people think there's an actual animal bursting out of my chest!

My initial reaction to this shirt was pure awe. Then, I thought about it more, and remembered that this exact scenario happened to my best friend. We were camping in the wilds of Montana when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a grey wolf leaped through the air, straight through my best friend's chest, creating a gaping hole.

I decided to get the shirt anyway. Don't get me wrong, I miss my friend dearly, but the time for mourning has passed. The time for exhaustive amounts of poon-tang is now.

This product is clearly advertised as a "Wolf Short Sleeve Tee" but it does not fit my pet wolf, Dale Earnhardt III, at all. He usually wears an adult medium, but to be safe I ordered a large since he's been eating more than his usual quota of neighborhood cats lately. Anyhoo, this shirt is clearly not designed to fit the majestic curves and rippling muscles of canis lupus, but the various rolls and lumps of homo sapiens.

It's a shame, because wolves are naturally social creatures and I'm sure DE III would have really enjoyed the company that this photorealistic wolf shirt would have provided. And imagine the terror that DE III's prey would feel as they see not one, but two wolves, conjoined by a garment of awesomeness, leaping forth from the hedge!

I, too, am disappointed because I have my own shirt with a picture of myself ripping through the fabric (custom printed by the caricaturist in the little booth in the middle of the mall), and I'd hoped that Dale Earnhardt III and I could wear our shirts together as we hunt MY prey of choice (middle aged single women heading into Old Country Buffet), if you catch my drift.

If you love wolves or need some good luck, buy a wolf shirt. It fits well, good quality. Ive had mine for years.

awesome shirts, super haggard.... just beware, they are several sizes large.. as in i normally wear an XL in Salvage, Obey, Howe, etc... so i ordered XL in these and the seam of the sleeve is at least 3 inches off each shoulder.. its like a triple x or more.. they are very square too and extremely thick cotton..

just know ahead of time when you order.

No way to wear them, I ordered several.... but just had to return everything. Kinda sucked to be honest.

I purchased this for my 21 year old son for his 21st birthday! He loves it! It looks WOW! Well made, quality item! Don't hesitate to buy, you will be stunned by how real it looks!

This is the lamest wolf jumping through a t-shirt that I have ever seen. It looks like its "resting" through the t-shirt. The only thing missing is its tongue hanging out. Just taking a break!