Customer Reviews

The Mourner's Dance: What We Do When People Die

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While the topic might seem difficult to dwell on, I was enchanted by this book and was sorry when I finally finished it. It is written in a spare and elegant style, beautifully appointed at every turn.
The writer effortlessly manages to do the near impossible: condense mountains of research into a highly emotional and entertaining read.
Mourning is often a private matter but here we are taken on an intelligent tour of its history and culture. It left this modern reader with a fresh understanding of a very common practice. I loved this book.

As a baby boomer, and not particularly religious, I have moved into a period of my life where my attendance at funerals is now more common than at weddings. Having lost my mother, I bought this book to try and work my way through the sense of loss I felt. In doing so, I was richly rewarded. Ashenburg's study of grieving, is both intensely personal and richly cultural. She shifts between these two worlds easily. She begins with the simple narrative of her daughter's tragic loss (her fiance was killed in a car accident) and then takes flight: the reader is witness to various grieving practices around the world and down through history. I felt better and better informed after reading it. I congratulate the author.

Katherine Ashenburg informs the reader on how people have dealt with death from centuries ago, and how they deal today. With tons of examples of research from various cultures, Ashenburg beautifully describes the traditions,norms, rituals, and expectations of one's culture and gender. She starts off with describing the tragic death of her daughter's fiance, and intertwines her daugher's grieving process with rich, compelling information in each chapter. This book will not make one sad, but will let them gain wisdom, and perhaps rethink the wakes and funerals they have attended. I have a new-found understanding on why some mourners grieved in ways that have once seemed abnormal,or indifferent. Ashenburg ends the book on a positive note, showing that mourners will survive.

I first read this author's "The Dirt on Clean" which I found interesting and informative. But this book is really powerful and inspirational. She shows insight and intelligence when dealing with the sudden death of her daughter's fiance. Combined with the history of mourning rituals, the book adds up to a great read.