My experience with this novel can be summed up in one sentence: "You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means." [Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride] Mr Darcy Takes a Wife is full of malapropisms and misapplied SAT words. Time and again I found myself cringing on behalf of the author and her editor. The writing is soooooo bad! I was afraid to continue reading it lest I suffer irreversible left-brain damage.
For that reason, I did not finish MDTAW. So, although, to be fair, I rated the book 2 stars instead of 1 (in case the end was more entertaining than the beginning), I would advise that you avoid it if any of these things apply to you: 1) you're a JA purist; 2) stupid metaphors drive you crazy; OR 3) you have a basic affinity for English grammar.
I intend no insult to those reviewers who thought this book was well-written (for everyone has different tolerance and tastes, and it is unnecessary in such a forum to resort to pettiness), but there can be little doubt that the writing in Mr Darcy Takes a Wife *is* almost embarrassingly bad. I say this not only as an avid reader, but as one who reads critically.
First, let me say that I love Jane Austen. Like many here, I, too, have re-read Pride and Prejudice every year since I was 12 years old. I also have a degree in English literature, and have read many, many British novels over the course of my life. Thus, I can safely say that the overblown language of this book bears little resemblance to that of any classic from the 19th century (or any other era, for that matter).
That said, I am not some humorless snob who whines about a few split infinitives and cannot appreciate a fun, fluffy romance novel. And I am not at all put off by romantic re-interpretations of JA's books, especially well-written sequels that alter the characters somewhat. So I guess I'm not a purist in the strictest sense. In fact, I love reading different interpretations of Lizzy and Darcy--if they're well-conceived. Sadly, this book is neither well-written nor well-conceived.
Case in point: Although the cover said the author is American, I felt as if the book had been inexpertly translated from another language! Whichever reviewer said that the author wrote this with thesaurus in hand was correct. It seems as if she used her word processor's thesaurus to come up with obsolete/complicated synonyms for ordinary words, then simply substituted them without regard to precise connotation and nuance. Even Charles Dickens, who was supposedly paid by the word, used fewer pretentious adjectives than Ms. Berdoll. Furthermore, whereas Mr. Dickens was a master of the mot juste, Ms. Berdoll seems to have little regard for the precision of the synonyms she uses. I did many a double take over a poor word choice, and even went back and checked the dictionary on the chance that, perhaps, I was mistaken. I was not.
Plus, her faux-Victorianisms are ridiculous!!! Actually, I think she may have confused Elizabethan with Georgian English--and still she got it wrong! The resulting prose is so stilted and convoluted, that it's often hard to understand what the author is trying to say. For example: "To her dismay, their re-emergence into company bade the Master of Pemberley serve compunction by abandoning that much-appreciated endearment." WTF???!!! It doesn't even make much sense in context!
I cannot imagine that the author read much 19th century English literature (nor even watched much British TV) prior to seeing the 1995 P&P miniseries, because she displays no understanding of the appropriate rules of style and grammar. That wouldn't be a problem, if she didn't try so very awkwardly to imitate them!!! I laughed out loud when I read: "Propitious fortune allowed her to descry whom the crepuscular light yielded." Wow. That sentence should be entered in one of those world's lousiest fiction contests.
Worst of all, even if I try to judge the book in it its own right (as a lurid romance novel), it fails miserably. The sex scenes in this book are surprisingly unmoving. They are neither romantic nor sensual, merely graphic and technical--wherein descriptions of size and seepage (ew!) proxy for eroticism. They are devoid of tenderness and passion. In short, they're boring. Furthermore, the convoluted sentences and clumsy euphemisms distance the reader from the action. I like a good romance novel, but this isn't one.
I am so sorry I paid money for this book. I don't remember who recommended it to me, but I'll have to have a word with them. As a book lover, I very rarely return books, even those I do not like. I have thousands of books--literally. But I returned Mr Darcy Takes a Wife, because I hate to think that my money supports or, worse, encourages this sort of thing.
I'm all for injecting passion into Jane Austen's wonderful stories. But this is just depressing. I've read better JA fan-fiction on the Internet. No, really.
