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Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future Hardcover – May 5, 2009


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Soul Shifts
There are pivotal moments in the lives of all seekers when we realize that we’ve been traveling on our path of growth toward happiness and ful­fillment, but, simply put, we want to go faster.

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Amazon.com Review

Questions for Dr. Michelle Callahan on Ms. Typed

Q: How do women sabotage their relationships?
A: My theory is that most women are mistyped. As a result of their dating and every day life experiences, they have taken on a personality and dating type that doesn't reflect who they truly are, but reflects more of who they've allowed themselves to become as a result of their circumstances. They lose sight of their true personalities and see themselves through the world's lens, instead of through their own eyes as the women they were meant to be. When it comes to romance in particular, women often take on dating habits and behaviors that are counterproductive and undermine the development of healthy and successful relationships. It's as if they forget who they really are and their insecurities dominate their thoughts and behaviors. As a result, instead of exuding confidence and success, they often act insecure and desperate (even if they don't realize it). They don't want to be stuck acting this way, but they don't know how to stop sabotaging their relationships and reclaim their happiness.

Q: Are you just blaming the victim by saying that women sabotage themselves?
A: Absolutely not! My whole point is that women should not feel like powerless victims in their relationships. They have a lot of power and choices in relationships, they just need to stop choosing to use their power to try to change their partner (something only their partner can do) and use that time and energy to focus on changing themselves and their approach to life and love. You can't control what a man does but you can control how you respond to it.

Q: What are dating types and who is Ms. Typed?
A: Your dating type represents how you typically behave in dating situations. It's like your dating personality. Ms. Typed is a woman who has taken on dating behaviors and personality traits that don't reflect who she wants or is destined to be. In Ms. Typed I describe the top ten dating types to help women recognize their dating patterns, to understand why they act the way they do in dating relationships, and to show them how to change those dating behaviors that are no longer working for them or that don't represent who they are.

Q: Can you tell us more about the dating types?
A: There are ten different dating types. There's a quiz in the book to help you determine which dating type or types you are (yes, it's okay to be more than one type). Some of the most common dating types include:
  • Ms. Second Place: She allows herself to be a low priority in a man's life.
  • Ms. Sex Machine: She settles for physical intimacy when she really wants an emotional connection.
  • Ms. Soul Mate: She so wants to be in love that she mistakes every date for "the one."
  • Ms. Drama Queen: She only dates bad boys and unavailable men.
  • Ms. Mom: She makes it a priority to fix her man's life instead of her own.
  • Ms. Anaconda: She's so needy, she suffocates every man she dates.
  • Ms. Independent: She's been hurt before and won't let her guard down.

Q: If you're Ms. Typed, could you miss the opportunity to meet Mr. Right?
A: Yes, Mr. Right could easily pass you by. You could miss out on the man you’ve been looking for because he's ready for you but you're not ready for him. This could be the man you’ve been hoping and praying for but if you and your life are a mess, in his healthy state of mind he might decide to move on. Men aren't going to want to date you if you don't have it together on the inside or the outside. So why not spend time when you're single working on being the best you can and resolving your own "issues" so that when he shows up, you're ready?

Q: How can women stop sabotaging their relationships and find dating success?
A: You can't change what you don't acknowledge so it helps to first determine your dating type because you can use it to identify what challenges you usually face in relationships and learn how to transform yourself. There is a quiz in Ms. Typed to help you determine your dating type and then there is a chapter in the book for each of the ten types filled with stories and specific advice for that type. I believe that improving your love life starts by improving yourself. When you are happy and healthy, love will come looking for you. The book includes a Ms. Typed Makeover Kit with exercises and specific advice on how to stop sabotaging your relationships by transforming yourself and then your relationships. My three-step makeover plan includes detailed information on how to do the following: 1) Create a vision for your life, 2) Let go of what's holding you back, and 3) Take action.

Q: Why is it so important to take time out to focus on yourself both before and while dating?
A: What women don't realize is that approaching dating and relationships from a position of desperation and weakness will not attract a healthy partner or long-term relationship. If they approach dating by first spending time making sure that they are happy with themselves and their lives without a partner, they will be much less vulnerable in dating relationships. Women's purpose or goal in life is not to find a mate; their goal should be health and happiness and that healthy state of being will bring Mr. Right to them.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From Publishers Weekly

For women who seem to make the same romance mistakes again and again, psychologist Callahan, a media presence and resident psychologist on reality TV show Queen Bees, offers a way of diagnosing and defusing dating self-sabotage. When it comes to men, most women know their type, but Callahan believes it's more useful to know your own type-or, more specifically, your mistype, as the ten personality profiles that follow all identify habits that keep you from expressing your true identity. These include Ms. Second Place, who tends to settle for less; Ms. Anaconda, the smothering type; and Ms. Bag Lady, still smarting over past relationships. A quiz helps readers find their match, and anecdotal evidence gleaned from patients demonstrate how these types work in the real world, where they fail, how they hold you back, and what may have caused the condition. Helpful tips for a "Ms. Typed Makeover" are encouraging and wise, though Callahan's concept can get in the way of clarity; "type" and "mistype" seem to be used interchangeably, and often.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype; 1 edition (May 5, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307408000
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307408006
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,835,082 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Michelle R. Callahan, host of "Wedlock or Deadlock," is a relationship expert, developmental psychologist, coach and international media favorite. She is the author of the bestselling book Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future. Dr. Michelle was the co-host and psychologist for The N's "Queen Bees" and BET's "Remixed." She is a frequent guest expert on shows like Oprah, Today, Tyra Banks, America's Next Top Model and many others. Dr. Michelle has conducted extensive research on romantic relationships and her research has been featured in top-tier academic journals and national conferences. She served on the Editorial Board of Women's Health Magazine, has appeared on radio shows across the nation and has been featured or quoted internationally in magazines and newspapers. Dr. Michelle received her Ph.D. and M.A. in Psychology from the University of Michigan and her B.A. in Sociology from Boston College. She was a National Institute of Mental Health Post-Doctoral Research Fellow at Yale University. For more about Dr. Michelle, visit www.drmichelle.com.

Customer Reviews

And it's a fast read.
author koslow
This book helped me to realize who I am why I do what I do... Now that I have read it I have made changes to my dating relationships.
Ms. Ralph
I like the way the book told me about how I became Ms. Typed and what to do about it.
Addonis Hey

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By A. Carter on May 11, 2009
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I preordered this book after seeing it on her tweet. I finished it over the weekend. It is a good, fun, matter-of-fact read and it was full of things I needed to hear! I have read other relationship books and have felt that--at times--these types of books are preachy. Not Ms. Typed! I liked it alot and had a good time talking about the different "types" with my girlfriends. I was typed as Ms. Bag Lady and Ms. Anaconda and I was tickled because the types described not only my relationship behavior but the men I typically date.

This book is young, hip, fun, and smartly done. BRAVO DR. MICHELLE!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By author koslow on May 8, 2009
Format: Hardcover
This has got to be the most helpful dating book I have ever read hands down. It really got to the root of what I've been doing in relationships, Dr. Michelle really clarified the whole thing and I genuinely feel like I can make progress now. The unfortunate reality is that women don't feel perfect all the time, but at least now there is a book that brilliantly and clearly gives assistance. And it's a fast read. Much gratitude to the writer.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Addonis Hey on May 11, 2009
Format: Hardcover
OMG, this book is so amazing. I just finished it after only three days. I felt such a connection with the Ms. Anaconda "type". Dr. Michelle was definitely describing me and all of my friends. I like the way the book told me about how I became Ms. Typed and what to do about it. Too many non-doctors out here telling us what to do and it ain't working. Thanks Dr. Michelle !!!!!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By A. Lancaster on January 5, 2010
Format: Hardcover
I enjoyed the book. I bought it and read it in a couple of hours. After taking the quiz I was typed (or rather mistyped) as Ms. Drama Queen and Ms. Independent. However, I was not much like either of them according to the quiz. After reading the descriptions, I found out that I am not much like Ms. Drama Queen at all, but she happens to be attracted to some of the same men as Ms. Independent. I read the description for Ms. Independent and it describes me perfectly (though to be honest, I could have guessed that from the beginning. Every single person who knows me would have given me that type.)

The advice was good and made perfect sense, but I felt unconvinced by her encouragement (probably usual for my type). I am still young though (23), and am not really ready to give up being Ms. Independent to have a serious relationship with anybody.

I have to admit that I bought it not really for myself, I am very interested in human behaviour and read a lot of books on psychology and relationships.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Mandell Crawley on May 13, 2009
Format: Hardcover
Fellas - while at first glance one might think that "Ms Typed?" is simply for the ladies, but in fact there are many pearls enclosed that men (who are still very much in the dating game looking for that special one) can benefit from. Dr. Callahan, addresses the myriad of personality traits that women possess that we men haven't quite been able to understand. This book will surely take you down memory lane of all past relationships and you will attempt to categorize your former partners....but more importantly you gain strong insight into which personality best fits with you and what you're looking for in a partner......Fellas don't sleep on this, Dr. Michelle is providing you with POWERFUL information.....go get it!!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Trinette L. Nugent on May 13, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The book is not a waste of money at all. Although, its not highly impressive either. I found the "types" to be fairly accurate. If you're looking for deep, insightful strategies and techniques....I would suggest you keep looking. After you figure out your type & read the info...you're left thinking what's next? Only shows how to start a journal about yourself..So its just an okay, easy read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Kathy R on August 11, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is an easy to understand book for many of my female patients trying to understand how they love, choose and feel.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By B. Verdonk on February 28, 2010
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I never fall into just one category, and the same happened when I did the test in this book. But I have to say: it was dead-on! The book made me realise the mistakes I have made in the past and was really helpful. This book is a good mirror for everyone.
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