Customer Reviews

The Musketeer

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(25)
2 star:		(16)
1 star:		(59)

 

 

If you want Dumas's original story in cinematic form, you'll be disappointed. It's been done, and done, and done again, even by Mickey Mouse. This director has chosen not to trudge down the same old rut. Instead, he's created a story parallel to and interlaced with the classic.

As long as you can take this movie for itself, it's fair entertainment. Deneuve is a lovely as ever; her mature, regal look fits the queen's role perfectly. This is a 21st century flick, so there have to be chase scenes - even though it's horse and carriage stuff, the chase scenes are completely up to date. The adventure and intrigue carry the story along well, with a comedic edge that keeps it from turning into a grim parody.

If you want a light swashbuckler, you came to the right place. If you really wanted the classic Musketeers - well, it's been done and done again. You'll just have to keep looking.

//wiredweird

While my wife and I are fans of this genre of film, we were at first appalled, and then disgusted by this poorly executed version. Some people have praised the fight sequences, but I found them lacking for the most part, and laughable in others--esp. the men on ropes on the castle's turret, and in the room full of ladders. Why were there so many ladders there anyway? Most disturbing were the inconsistencies in the plot. Why doesn't the hero make it back to the queen BEFORE the bad guys whom he beats up at the river scene? Why does he ride to Paris rather than to the ferry, where he could have saved Lord Buckingham and foiled the cardinal's plot? Why was this movie even made?? Save your money...we were disappointed even though we only rented it.

Ewwww! Had to go soak my head in the sink after this one. The Musketeer is one of the most feeble films I've had the displeasure to see in a long time (and I like a lot of films that are generally deemed "stinkpots." This one was low even for my deplorable taste.) Despite what is going to be a nasty review ahead, you might love this film anyway if you adore all swashbucklers and swordfighting films. So keep this in mind as you read further.

The Musketeer is an adaptation of Dumas' Three Musketeers. I'm not rating this film badly because this subject has been filmed excessively --I love retold classics and we can always use a good swashbuckler. I don't even mind that this is "Musketeer Lite" (with only 1 Calorie, I mean, Musketeer instead of the three or four we usually are served up. Your favorites, Pothos, Aramis and Athos are present, but are usually drunk or being disaffected during most of the film.)

What makes me want to demand satisfaction from the producers of this travesty is the miserable script, stupid direction, sloppy editing and shoddy acting. While Stephen Rea (Cardinal Richelieu) and his minion-from-Hell Febre (Tim Roth) were admirable villains, our hero D'Artagnan (Justin Chambers) was pathetic. Obviously, the casting director wanted Johnny Depp, who wisely steered clear of the script or was hiding behind a velvet curtain when this role was being passed out. Justin Chambers looks like he's making a real effort to be a Depp copy, but his lack of acting ability and slurred diction proved that cloning is years away from being able to be successfully implemented.

Catherine Deneuve is nervous but adequate as the French queen (however, in a number of scenes she is visibly looking at the director with a Gallic twist to her eyebrows and a French word nearly on her lips beginning with "m." ) The exceptionally pretty Mena Suvari is a nice touch as the ingénue Francesca. She gets most of what would have been the good lines. Too bad her delivery was about as punchy as a tax court case summation.

Even worse were the special effects from Hong Kong's action-meister Xin Xin Xiong (rhymes with "wrong".) This looked like a bad copy of "Crouching Tiger" with "stuntman-on-a-string" action in the sword fights and what could have been good but was merely stupid and unrealistic dancing on the ceiling. BUT, if you love special effects, lots of swordplay and fighting, you might love this film just for these scenes alone. The good news is that on the DVD, you can fast-forward to these scenes, indulge your bloodlust and skip the rest of the gar-BAHZH.. I love swordfighting but not enough to love this film.

The setting was supposedly in Paris and other parts of France, but done mostly in Luxembourg. This added to the unconvincing effect, though the donjons, palaces and scenery were lovely European postcards. It just wasn't France, except for some spots filmed in Toulouse. Which rhymes with "you lose."

All for one and one for all? Not a chance. This film is definitely "All for NONE."

Alexandre Dumas' classic novel of swashbuckling derring-do, "The Three Musketeers" has long been a favorite of film-makers ever since the silent days of Douglas Fairbanks. From the definitive version with Michael York, Oliver Reed and Faye Dunaway to the extremely campy Disney version with Tim Curry and Charlie Sheen, this tale never ceases to entertain. This latest version uses the old revenge sub-plot in which young D'artagnan (Justin Chambers) not only seeks to become a Musketeer, but avenge his parents' murder at the hands of the villianous Febre' (Tim Roth). In an attempt to "freshen up" the classic adventure, director Peter Hyams uses the classic fight choreography of martial arts specialist Xin-Xin Xiong. In that regard, the movie is a success as the fight sequences are quite amazing. However, the screenplay ignores the rich characters of Dumas' plot while basically reducing the classic trio of Athos, Porthos and Aramis to little more than minor supporting roles. If the role of D'artagnan had been played by a strong actor, it might've worked. However, a rather bland and flat performance by Justin Chambers in the lead as the heroic D'artagnan nearly sinks the entire enterprise. While he looks the part and handles the action scenes well, Chambers seems to have left all emotion on the cutting-room floor. As a result, Mena Suvari tries hard as his love interest, but has nowhere to go. As for the other Musketeers, only Steven Spiers as Porthos comes across with any sense of depth. Jean-Pierre Castaldi provides light humor as the wry mentor/servant Planchet. Catherine Deneuve is a regal delight as the Queen, while Stephen Rea is solid in his role as the crafty Cardinal Richeleu. Tim Roth is sneering perfection as the sinister Febre', despite the fact that his eyepatch has long become a cliche' in Musketeer filmmaking. Hyams directs the whole thing with a sure hand and is mostly successful in presenting the time period of the story. It's a shame that Chamber's performance drags this film down so much as this flick had a lot of potential. If you enjoy fight choreography, I do recommend this film. But if you want to see this story done right in all respects, see the 2 part Michael York films: THE THREE MUSKETEERS and THE FOUR MUSKETEERS.

Well most of the Musketeers in this film did anyway, except for the leading male hero of the film, D'Artagnan! I had no idea this film would be so dull considering that Peter Hyams (2010, Outland) directed it and Tim Roth (Rob Roy, Reservoir Dogs), who is totally wasted here, starring as the bad guy, Febre. The film is just not exciting and I found myself not really caring about the hero's revenge or much of anything else after a certain point. First of all, I have no idea who Justin Chambers (leading man/hero, D'Artagnan) is but I do know he turns out a dull and uninteresting performance in this film. It doesent help that he resembles Chris O' Donnell who played the same character in "The Three Musketeers" with Charlie Sheen and Keifer Sutherland. That movie may have been silly but at least it was entertaining. I would like to see the DVD feature of "Casting Justin Chambers" to find out what they were thinking. Even the one thing that I thought would save "The Musketeer", the fight sequences, were not as exciting as I thought they would be, but they did keep me awake. I had heard the fight choreography compared to "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" somewhere - my answer to that is: go rent "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". The finale sword fight on ladders between Roth and Chambers (their stunt doubles) is of course the highlight of the film but it's over before you know it and I'm still not quite sure how the bad guy died, I'm assuming by sword. I expected Roth to carry the film but that was asking too much. He is still the most exciting character in the film but that isnt saying much, considering the competition. Actually, I was thinking he might use one of those ladders in the final fight to climb out of the movie! Mena Suvari (American Beauty) plays the love interest for Chambers. There is no reason why they should be together except he's the best looking guy around and she's the only girl in town and they dont waste anytime putting her in a bath tub again either. My favorite part is when she is shot in the chest almost point blank range when "taking one" for the Queen and in the next scene, she's fine. The weird part is I didn't feel much sympathy for her when she was shot. Actually, I felt more sympathy for D'Artagnan's horse when it fell over from exhaustion. It doesent help that the whole 3 Musketeer "All for one..." thing is done in a tired predictable fashion in movies. Its definitely getting old seeing french Musketeers with american accents! Now the Musketeers are flying and sticking to the ceiling and it still didnt help that much!

*Trivia: The guy that wrote the screenplay for "The Musketeer" also wrote "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol" - Think about it.

The Musketeer could have been so good. The locations and sets are so beautiful and there are some beautiful fight scenes. However, those fight scenes are a part of the problem. Wire action is used, but instead of the beautiful grace of Chinese wire actions movies, the action here is a little too speedy and choppy. Also a lot of the fight scenes include moves that seem unnecessarily flashy and impractical--for example, doing a full split on two barrels while fighting a swordsman. Just unnecessary. I think the director wanted the audience to say, "Cool!", but instead they just say, "Huh?"

Another bad point is the acting. There are no good performances in this movie. Everyone seems to be reading their lines. All of the parts are miscast. The heros have no charisma, and the villians have no menace. Another thing that really bothered me was that half the actors have American accents and half have French accents. I don't have anything against either accent, but I would like to see some consistency.

So Bad. I'm giving it 1 star to cancel out that guy who is trying to raise the stars by giving it a five. It should stay as low as possible, so people don't get suckered into watching this as I was. Worst Movie I've ever bought a ticket to see, and I've seen some bad ones (e.g. Signs).

Allright. I fell asleep. I wasn't even tired and I fell asleep. I never fall asleep. That's sad.

If I could give this 0 stars I would have. The movie sounds interesting, but it makes little sense and has an ending that could of been guessed five minutes into the movie.

Don't watch it. Please. Unless you really need some sleep.

Is it possible to give **minus** five stars? I feel ashamed at being forced by Amazon.com to offer this debacle even 1 star.

This film, from its very beginnings, had me saying aloud what an incredible mistake it was to waste good money on buying it.

And an even greater insult was to squander the not inconsiderable talents of Tim Roth and Stephen Rea. I could only shake my head in disbelief as scene after horrid scene unfolded.

It felt like some of the worst fan fiction I've ever read. And the finale with the ladders? Obviously the stunt coordinator has spent his entire life living in a box with no air holes, and nothing but Jackie Chan movies to help lighten his otherwise empty hours.

Ten thumbs down, way down.

...although a dubious one: this movie somehow manages to make Alexandre Dumas boring. I know how Hollywood works, so I didn't go into this movie expecting the cinematic equivalent of a literary masterpiece. Hell, I wasn't even expecting it to be 100% faithful to Dumas' work. But I DID expect to be entertained, and the movie failed that expectation miserably. The plot completely failed to engage me...to put it simply, it just wasn't exciting. I spent the majority of the movie wondering when it would be over and I could go home (and for the record, if I had paid for the ticket, I would have demanded my money back). The fight scenes were okay, I suppose, if you could get past the incongruity of a Frenchman of that time period mastering martial arts, but they were brief and poorly filmed. I might consider tempering my review with the fact that I don't really care that much for mindless action movies if it weren't for the fact that my boyfriend, who does like mindless action movies, found this movie as boring as I did.

The scenery and the costumes were good, and Justin Chambers isn't bad on the eyes despite his lack of acting ability, and good actors like Tim Roth, Catherine Deneuve, Mena Suvari, and Stephen Rea turned in decent performances despite the poor lack of material to work with, but overall this movie was a waste of film.