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Must You Go?: My Life with Harold Pinter Hardcover – Deckle Edge, November 2, 2010
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“Glowing. . . . There’s hardly a dull page.”
—Dwight Garner, The New York Times
"Entertaining and ultimately touching in its determination to recapture lost time, to portray a younger, more carefree self and to bring back a lost loved one, if only on the page."
—Francine Prose, New York Times Book Review
"A stirring celebration of what Fraser, reflecting near the end of Pinter's life, observed as a union 'to the infinite degree happy beyond all possible expectations.'"
—The New Yorker
"Bold, intimate, madly entertaining. . . . Fraser simultaneously creates a tender portrait of an exciting marriage, and a deliciously detailed account of living in the thick of creativity and fame. A"
"An engrossing, anecdote-rich feat for theater lovers whose tastes extend beyond the glitter of Broadway. . . . The book ultimately sheds humanizing new light on a writer with a public reputation for his stern sense of ethics and the clammy, unsettling spell cast by his plays."
—Charles Isherwood, The New York Times
"It takes a daring biographer to turn her sharp eye on her own life as Antonia Fraser does so movingly and beautifully in her memoir Must You Go? My Life with Harold Pinter. It's a compelling diary of a passionate love affair, marriage, and 40-year conversation of two soul mates in the milieu of London's chattering classes."
—Tina Brown, The Daily Beast
"Written with a very English, very literate brand of grace and restraint, Fraser's account of their life together (culled from her diaries) is fond and touching. But it's also a crisp, clear-eyed portrait of a shared life of creative work, political activism, wide-ranging travels, family — not always smooth going, sometimes rocky and controversial, but remarkable and fascinating nonetheless. In short, theirs was a fine romance, and Fraser shares that with us."
—The Seattle Times
“Fraser has used more than three decades’ worth of pithy, clever and frequent diary entries as the backbone of this tremendously engaging account. . . . The book works beautifully – as both a rare love story and a sharp portrait of life in the upper echelons of British literary society.”
“A lovely, intimate portrayal of a marriage . . . A wonderful testament to romance, love, shared humor, and true partnership."
—Library Journal, starred review
"A moving compilation of diary entries written during the course of an artistically fruitful three-decade partnership . . . A devoted, respectful tribute."
“Must You Go? is a love story (with a dash of scandal for spice), but it succeeds on many other levels as well. It is a window into British high society, a glimpse of the inspiration behind some of Pinter’s finest achievements and a kaleidoscope of historical and personal events. Most significantly, it is a testament to the 'private happiness' possible in a supportive marriage between two dynamic and ambitious people.”
Praise from the UK:
“This book — full of funny and tender things — satisfies on more than one level. It is an intimate account of the life and habits of a major artist; it is a pencil sketch of British high society in the second half of the 20th century; and it is, more than either of these things, and much more unusually, a wonderfully full description of the deep pleasures and comforts of married love.”
“Must You Go? is extraordinary by any standards. Based on the diaries she kept during her 33-year relationship with the dramatist, it is simultaneously a love story, an intimate portrait of a great writer and an exercise in self-revelation.”
“Neither autobiography nor biography but a love story, romantic, poignant and very funny, illuminating her husband's character and creativity.”
“[Writing] with exemplary clarity and courage . . . Fraser keeps her gaze steady and her heart open.”
“Unremittingly delicious: strange, rarefied, frequently hilarious.”
“[Must You Go? is] told from a privileged backstage perspective, and observed with a sharp eye for social and behavioural detail . . . This book works, just as it appears their lives worked, as the most touching and enduring of love stories . . . The ending, brutal and unsentimentally presented yet filled with a Tolstoyan directness of feeling, is almost unbearably moving. The whole of this lovely book fills you with a gratitude that happenstance can, once in a while, not screw up and find the right girl for the right boy.”
More About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
In the entry for April 5, 1977, for example, we learn the color of Pinter's tracksuit. Innocuous information to be sure, and no harm no foul. But then we're told the color of Fraser's tracksuit as well as those of three of her children. Why? What on Earth does it add to our understanding of...anything? And that's typical of the unnecessary information with which we're inundated here, along with entries like: "Visited the Naipauls, first time in ages...Vidia thin...Pat so happy he is back." Hey, I'm not averse to some healthy name-dropping (there's plenty more where that came from), but names alone are not enough to keep me turning pages.
To be fair, there are interesting nuggets and passages buried among the minutiae: Fraser's identification with mystery writer Agatha Christie; insights into her and Pinter's writing processes; reflections on Vaclav Havel during a 1990 visit to the Czech Republic; and the section in which Fraser discusses her writing of "Marie Antoinette" is quite engrossing. And, as it should be with a memoir, we do come to know and feel for the author and her husband as real people.Read more ›
The very different splash Lady Antonia and Harold Pinter made a few years later was equally impressive in a supermarket checkout tabloid kind of way--the beautiful scholar and Britain's handsome actor/director/premier playwright--a romance that skirted cheesiness only because of the obvious and considerable pain involved.
Must You Go? is Fraser's very personal version of life with Harold Pinter. Taken from her diaries, often comic and always interesting, its two main characters are accomplished people, an artist and a scholar, whose symbiosis is clear. Her organizational skills gave him the space to create and his flamboyant theatrical world brought her out of a writer's solitude. This is a memoir of thirty plus years and the course of a deep and abiding love from first meeting to Pinter's death, and though Fraser manages to maintain some detachment for most of the book, her grief is palpable in the very moving last few pages.
Fraser's skills are evident. The pages are liberally seasoned with vignettes of some of the most glittering names of the last quarter of the last century and the first decade of this one.Read more ›
Then why is her personal memoir such a dullard? I couldn't even finish the book because my eyes were crossing every time she would mention so and so eating at the same restaurant that she was at or so and so was admiring of her husband, Harold. That is all that I've managed to gleam so far. To think I was expecting something more intimate and personal especially since both Harold and Antonia were married to other people at the time of their meeting. I didn't expect a celebrity gush of confidentialty but did expect something more than just a daily note of going out to eat and having dinner with famous people.
If I wanted to read something like that, I would have picked up US Weekly or whatever the gossip rags are. I wanted to read more about the author and why she writes the stuff she writes and about her marriage to what was obviously her soul-mate. I wanted to know what she was thinking during that stormy time when her husband and Harold's wife first found out about their affair. I wanted to know what the children thought of the affair. I wanted to know why they were still happily married years long after. It is not common for affairs that lead to marriage stay happy or couples staying together for another 30 years.
If she did mention that in this book, I was too bored to get beyond the first half of the book to find out. What a shame. She really is a talented writer. But not when it comes to writing about her own life.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This was an easy yet interesting read. I felt very comfortable because I knew how much Antonia and Harold loved each other. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Natalie Simpspndach
Beautiful, touching, funny. I loved reading it!Published 13 months ago by Patricia Ortiz Monasterio
Not a good read. I am 80% of the way through the book but struggling to finish it!!!Published 15 months ago by Robyn goulding
One big name-dropping, really. A diary, re-written for the occasion, perhaps, may not be a good idea...Published 17 months ago by Anne Bjoern Larsen
A writer whom I have always admired, makes the incredible story of her 35 year romance and marriage with one of the 20th century's most important playwrights, boring. Read morePublished on December 28, 2013 by AdeA
I suppose that if you're a huge Harold Pinter fan, this deserves reading, but if not, why bother. I don't think Ms.Fraser has much to say about her life.Published on September 19, 2013 by Michele
It's fascinating to read such an up-close account of such an important figure in British theatre. This gives insight into both Pinter's literary and dramatic career and his... Read morePublished on September 18, 2013 by Marguerite Stobo
There is no larger enigma than the mind and actions of Mr. Pinter. Turning to this, to understand the core of this brilliant writer was a huge disappointment.Published on September 3, 2013 by Disciple of Whitman