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"My Bloody Valentine" takes place in a little mining town called Valentine Bluffs. We don't really know the location of the town, but the accents of the some of the characters hint at a Canadian setting somewhere near Quebec. Some years before a terrible mining accident resulting in the deaths of several miners caused Harry Warden to snap. Warden went on a killing spree through the town on the night of the Valentine's Day dance. Ever since then, the authorities in Valentine Bluffs banned parties on Valentine's Day, ever mindful of Harry Warden's threat to wreak bloody havoc on the town if they held another dance. Harry Warden, for the record, was one of the survivors of the mining accident, an accident caused by negligence on the part of two of the supervisors. After his murderous spree, Warden ended up in an insane asylum and the town slowly forgot his grim threats.
Now it's the present (or at least 1981), and the mineworkers want to have another holiday party. The authorities, which include a neurotic mayor and a police chief who looks like Steve McQueen from a distance, are willing to go along with the idea of a celebration. Then the valentines start showing up, one of which contains a bloody human heart. The mayor and police chief initially try to keep the threat hush-hush, but a few more murders persuade them to cancel the dance. The young people in town throw a fit, deciding that they will still have a party but hold it at the mine instead. You can guess what happens from this point on: bodies drop like flies as a madman in mining gear (gas mask, helmet, black clothing, and pickax) works his way through the group of bubbleheads. As the chief desperately attempts to track down the whereabouts of Harry Warden, a group of especially idiotic partygoers head down into the mine for a few yucks. The last twenty minutes of the film take place in the darkly atmospheric mine, as the killer picks off several of the kids in the quarry. There's a twist ending that achieves only a moderate level of interest, and then the whole thing ends.
"My Bloody Valentine" is a major rip off of other slasher films. This movie even has its own version of "Crazy Ralph" from "Friday the 13th" in the form of a testy bar owner who continually spouts stories about Harry Warden and the foolishness of throwing another party. You just know this guy is going to get his, and he does, but I kept wondering how he got any business. Who wants to go to a place where the proprietor keeps talking about gruesome murders? The other characters fall into typical slasher movie typecasting as well: the two guys fighting over the girl, the ineffective police chief and mayor who try to ignore the warning signs until it's too late, and the omnipresent killer. When it comes to original and engaging characters, "My Bloody Valentine" doesn't offer much except stereotypes with bad haircuts. Horror movie buffs should take note of Ray Sager's name (as first assistant director) in the credits: Sager played Montag the Magnificent in H.G. Lewis's "The Wizard of Gore."
At first, the gore seems to promise that "My Bloody Valentine" is a step above your typical slasher film. The heart in the box is gruesome, but after that initial shocker the movie steps back into rather banal exercises in the sauce department. The heavy handed editing is to blame here, as nearly every murder that takes place either happens completely off camera (the idea of it!), or cuts away before the serious bloodletting starts. There are places where you can discover what Paramount removed to get that all-important 'R' rating, and it's obvious that this film would have been much better if we could have seen the full effect of the killer's actions. A boiled face, a hook through the head, and a body in a laundromat dryer sound great on paper, but the execution suffers horribly because we never get the full, grotesque effect. It's the equivalent of watching a Richard Pryor concert with all of the profanity bleeped out. I pray Paramount comes to their senses and finally releases this film, along with the first eight "Friday the 13th" movies, in uncut formats. "My Bloody Valentine," as it stands now, falls squarely into the "rent, not buy" category: an interesting film with great promise, but an ultimate failure due to circumstances beyond the control of the cast and crew.
Start with an interesting setting. Rather than a college campus or high school, we have a bleak, blue-collar mining town. Instead of free-wheeling students or teenagers we have working class twentysomethings pushing thirty. Then add a creepy backstory: a mining accident that entombed and killed all but one of a handful of miners. That survivor, Harry Warden, had to resort to cannibalism until he was rescued, messing him up for eternity and a day. The next year, on Valentine's Day, he returned (in full miner's garb with pick-axe) and brutally murdered the two supervisors who inadverdently caused the accident. He then cut their hearts out and sent it to the dance with a warning never to have another Valentine's dance.
Flash forward to the present. The townspeople are contemplating the first dance in twenty years. Naturally, a series of murders begin, with the victim's hearts cut out. Alarmed, the police decide to cancel the dance. Undeterred, the young folk decide to have a secret party (at the mine's cafeteria). And that's when the real fun begins. Some highlights: a dude's face scalded in a huge pot of boiling water, and his cut-out heart being thrown in with the franks (yum), a girl getting her head impaled on a shower head (no repetition intended), and the local drunk becoming the victim of his own practical joke.
Of course, no film (slasher or otherwise) would be set around Valentine's day without having a romantic supplot, and MY BLOODY VALENTINE is no exception. We're introduced to Axel and T.J., two former friends now duking it out for the affections of Sarah (Lori Hallier, in the film's best performance). This triangle could've been more fully developed, but it was sufficient enought to keep the audience interested. Who will get Sarah? Axel or T.J.? And as the murders multiply (and intensify) the question becomes "What does Harry Warden want?" Is it even him? Or someone else?
Watch this flick and find out. There's a great final act set in the darkened mine, with an extended cat and mouse chase scene between the killer and T.J. and Sarah. This last half-hour rivals anything in HALLOWEEN. Scary last scene, too.
Bottom line? Craftsmanship-wise, MY BLOODY VALENTINE is no HALLOWEEN, but in some ways, it's scarier.
Initial rumours peristed the gore footage would be as a bonus feature - not spliced back into the film, HOWEVER, this it has been confirmed by Lionsgate that the movie will be released with the gore restored in its correct place.
Lionsgate have done what Paramount should have done several times before. Slasher fans could do with a company like Lionsgate to get their hands on the Friday The 13th series so we can see those uncut too - but i'm dreaming of course - paramount will never sell the rights to those because it makes too much cash for them.
So at last - MY BLOODY AVLENTINE TOTALLY UNCUT, REMASTERED AND RESTORED, IN WIDESCREEN! What more could a slasher fan ask for - don't hesitate - BUY THIS NOW!
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