My Brother's Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don't) Tell Us About Masculinity [Paperback]

Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 3, 2002

"What is man, that you are mindful of him, the son of man, that you care for him?" Indeed, what is a man? As our society sorts through what it means to be masculine or feminine and roles drift and shift, men as well as women feel the strain. Very recently, a small but growing field of theory called men's studies has appeared in reaction to the decades-long feminist movement in women's studies. Can the social sciences informing contemporary men's studies (psychology, cultural anthropology and others) provide helpful insight as to what helps or hinders men in becoming the sons, fathers, husbands, and brothers they ought to be? Following her landmark gender-reconciliation text, Gender and Grace, Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen turns her focus to men's studies in this new book. She incorporates the most recent and significant research in the social sciences with a biblically founded Christian worldview that sets the course for men and women being in right relationship. Surveying a vast amount of literature with balance and insight, Van Leeuwen probes the value and plumbs the limits of what the social sciences offer Christians. For men and women, for students, teachers and general readers, Van Leeuwen offers an alternative to mindless conformity to--or dismissal of--cultural "norms." Rather she encourages pursuit of a faithful masculinity that honors the God who made men and women to be a blessing to each other.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Readers familiar with Gender and Grace will recognize Van Leeuwen's seasoned, balanced and original voice as she brings her theological and interdisciplinary expertise to vexed questions surrounding men, masculinity and gender roles. At once informative and provocative, My Brother's Keeper is another substantial contribution to contemporary Christian scholarly discussions on these crucial topics." (Christine Firer Hinze, Associate Professor of Christian Ethics, Marquette University )

"As a woman, a family therapist, and a supervisor and trainer of family therapists, I welcome My Brother's Keeper as an important contribution to understanding the dynamics of the development of boys and men. All too often, therapists see families where the absence of fathers seriously affects the lives of children. All too often, marriage relationships suffer or end because of gender differences and a failure to understand each other's needs. There have been many helpful books written for women in this search for gender reconciliation, but little for men. In My Brother's Keeper, Van Leeuwen's scholarly research and readable prose will help all of us--men and women alike--to better appreciate the unique challenges faced by our brothers in the communities of family, work and faith." (Diane Marshall, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Director, The Institute of Family Living )

"In this well-wrought argument, Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen combines scholarly insight with a practical agenda for a 'third way' approach to resolving the tired dichotomies of gender stereotypes. A challenging and illuminating contribution to the debate over men's and women's work and family roles." (Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Ph.D., Co-director, The National Marriage Project, Rutgers University )

"A readable and intelligent examination of masculinity and family life from a psychologist and Christian theologian. Few authors are as comfortable with the range of disciplines reflected in this wise and learned book." (William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota )

"My Brother's Keeper is the best theological statement on masculinity presently available. It is also the most comprehensive review and critique of what the social sciences say about men. It is a beautifully written and wonderfully balanced work." (Don Browning, coauthor of From Culture Wars to Common Ground: Religion and the American Family Debate )

"My Brother's Keeper is an excellent book on an important and timely topic. While it contains many scholarly citations supporting the arguments given, due to its conversational style and timely examples it is a delight to read. Although focused upon what the social sciences tell us about masculinity, the book is also biblically and theologically informed, resulting in an integrated understanding of Christian manhood. I look forward to using My Brother's Keeper in my course on men's ministry. This book is must reading for any pastor, church worker or Christian layperson struggling to understand the meaning of masculinity in contemporary society." (Jack Balswick, Professor of Sociology and Family Development, Fuller School of Psychology )

"Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen is 'trying to understand men.' So are many of us men. In this work of sweeping scholarship and faith-fueled science writing, she offers an appealing vision for twenty-first-century men (and women). A fascinating, provocative and important contribution to our understanding of men and gender." (David G. Myers, Hope College, author of The American Paradox: Spiritual Hunger in an Age of Plenty )

Product Details

• Paperback: 255 pages
• Publisher: IVP Academic (October 3, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830826904
• ISBN-13: 978-0830826902
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,047,239 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars About more than men... also the relationships and society which shape them and they it, October 28, 2008

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Deborah Shore - See all my reviews
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This review is from: My Brother's Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don't) Tell Us About Masculinity (Paperback)

This is a scientific but highly readable (quick) and profound evaluation of masculinity. However, because masculinity is relational, it is also an evaluation of marriage, parenting, business practices, and economics. I have some quibbles with it (I will get to a few), but I wish every pastor and engaged couple would read it. She assumes an egalitarian standpoint but also attempts to reach across the aisle.

Van Leeuwen presents a compelling vision of how a fallen version of a male honor code has permeated so many cultures, including ours, to the detriment of BOTH men and women (and boys and girls). I found myself crying for men at times and the pressures on them. A lot is stuff I've "known" as someone who has pondered and even written about these issues a lot, but I have a fuller perspective on and deeper conviction of that "knowing" after reading this.

One of the most breathtaking moments was when she returned to one culture she had repeatedly evaluated for its detrimental patriarchal behaviors (for instance, female circumcision of both the clitoris AND the labia), the Masai, and showed what happened when Christ came to town. I don't want to spoil it, but it is a story you do NOT want to miss. I'm sure the Masai will continue to struggle with the reassertion of patriarchy in their churches and any remnant pieces, but Christ is indeed good news for women everywhere! (On the topic of the reassertion of patriarchy after breakthroughs in our Western Church, please see Discovering Biblical Equality, Pierce and Groothius, eds. chpts 1 and especially 2.)

In the latter third of the book, Van Leeuwen argues for several changes in society and business (and our thinking) which might allow mothers and fathers of young children to work 30 hrs/wk apiece and evenly divide childcare and housework responsibilities. (Throughout the entire book, she gives scientific, historical, and cultural reasoning for the reintroduction of far more profound father-involvement than almost any American families know today as well as the benefit of women living multi-sphered but not overextended lives, although she delves into that on fewer levels, given the book's emphasis.) She points to a season when Kellogg factories did this much to the advantage of all and some of the societal influences and pressures of male (and female) identity which crept in and overturned this practice. She notes other countries which have moved in this direction as well, for instance with shorter work weeks in general, paternity leaves, etc. It is a wholly compelling case. She also provides suggested safeguards so that women in divorce are not so unevenly and devastatingly impoverished.

YET.... This is where I wish she would have painted more diverse pictures that could better suit more subcultures within the U.S. and the unique diversity of callings that any given couple will find on their lives. Understandably, since she is working so much w/in scientific studies, she may not have tackled it for lack of studies. But as a reader, I would have liked it if she nonetheless wandered the paths in wonderment.

To her credit, she does suggest that some might want to divvy it up a little differently and notes, "A genuine social partnership between men and women will allow for specialization by gender and by life-cycle stage for those who mutually wish it and agree to it. But such specialization should not result in either sex's becoming materially or psychologically vulnerable, socially isolated or permanently closed off from other avenues of growth and service." This important caveat deserves FAR more exploration than these two sentences serve (the most in specifics she came up with earlier was that one parent might work 35-40 hrs and one 20-25 for a season). I can see too many reading this book and throwing their hands up when they get to her final solution. Or they might feel guilty if they either simply cannot find or do not feel called to a 30/30 scenario.

For instance, I live in an area where the women with higher educations are very few and far between. Indeed, not that many of the men are educated, but the army and various muscle-bound jobs that not too many women can do give them a means of ready income. The women's ability to contribute as much financially would be thus hampered. Plus, even if all of these arguments were to be accessibly presented to the couples here, very few women here, I think, would sign up as this being at all what they want. The teens here express near constant jealousy of the young moms. And many marry right out of high school. It is their general desire and horizon, if culturally mediated. The turning of that and the availability of other possibilities would be a gradual thing here and not to be desired in the eyes of many.

SO it would be great to come up with some game-plans to work toward health of gender identities in this context, limits on the tyrannt of economics, and ways in which women who do choose (and who may very well be called) to be primarily guardians of the homefront might nonetheless find (with a husband's support as he takes on more housework and childcare and affirms her) a public role of service, life-giving hobbies, and/or some gradual education that would enable them to enter another stage of life later on as they find desire.

One side-note is that in her book I stumbled upon scientific evidence of the totally uneven toll on Christian marriages experienced in the oh-so-patriarchical corner of the country in which I live: the buckle of the Bible belt. I had observed the divorce rate and so on and made the correlations within my small circles but had not seen such a study.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Thought-Provoking Book by Van Leeuwen, November 8, 2004

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A Reader "A Reader" (Manitou Springs, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Brother's Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don't) Tell Us About Masculinity (Paperback)

She does it yet again! I really enjoyed an egalitarians viewpoint on masculinity in this century. It also made me realise how hugely important of a role my husband plays in my daughters life. It is scholarly, yet readable. An overview of masculinity in through the centuries and what affect that has on todays perception of what masculinity is. She has two sons, is a egalitarian and a very intelligent woman both as a scholar and from her personal experience.

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for anyone not satisfied with the "Good Ol Boys" explanations on the subject, September 1, 2010

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S. Ogram "Freestyle 316" (West Coast) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: My Brother's Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don't) Tell Us About Masculinity (Paperback)

This is one of the best books I have ever read on the topic of Masculinity. Fantastic truths to ponder instead of the same old rhetoric that has been swirling around pretending to be enlightening and uplifting truth concerning the world of maleness form the beginning of time until now. This book should be mandatory reading for all people male or female for it is truly enlightening and immensely helpful in sorting out what is really fact and what is really fiction in our beliefs. I have re read this book about 3 times and continue to learn more each time as I research this issue. If you, like myself, have been on a long and confusing journey in trying to figure out what the truth about maleness in all its regal glory and real weakness, this book is one you will not regret reading. I found out about this book through Christian for Biblical Equality which has been an absolute blessing in my journey to find truth about our humanity which is male and female.