Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children [Paperback]

Will Wilkoff (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 9, 2000

From crankiness and the "terrible twos" to recurrent ear infections and headaches that young children often experience, to the listlesness and low academic performance of teenagers, many childhood problems can be traced to a simple but often overlooked cause: the lack of sleep. This handbook, for parents, explains how to recognize the signs of fatigue in a child, determine how much sleep a child really needs and establish a routine that satisfies a child's needs at every age and stage of development. This guide identifies key contributing factors to a child's tiredness - television; too many extra-curricular activities; a parent's schedule; and even the electric lighting in the home. It offers remedies such as extra sleep or setting a weekday and weekend bedtime schedule.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

A pediatrician for the past twenty-five years, William Wilkoff has "cured" hundreds of children simply by prescribing better sleep habits. He lives in Brunswick, Maine.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One: How Can I Tell If My Child Is Well Rested?

Step One: Suspect the Diagnosis

If your child is old enough to articulate her feelings, she may simply tell you that she is tired. However, most parents aren't this fortunate. Many five-year-olds with a thousand-word vocabulary will deny with their last waking breath that they need to go to bed, and then collapse into a deep sleep on the couch.

You may be able to tell when your child is tired by her behavior, but unfortunately many parents don't realize that their children are seriously fatigued. They may search for another explanation for a child's behavior when in reality sleep is the solution. Here are some ways to tell if your child is well-rested.

Let's Check the Numbers

Dr. Richard Ferber, clinical director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston, has kindly allowed me to reprint a chart from his classic book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Fireside Press). It clearly displays the relationship between age and sleep requirement.

FIGURE 1 Typical Sleep Requirements in Childhood

Like many other parents, you may be shocked to see how poorly your child's sleep patterns compare to Dr. Ferber's bar graph. You may be tempted to defend the situation by uttering the phrase I hear in my office on a daily basis: "My daughter [or son] just doesn't seem to need as much sleep as other children." You are probably wrong.

Yes, it is true that the sleep needs of individual children can vary widely, and Dr. Ferber's table should be used only as a rough guideline. However, in my experience most parents seriously underestimate their children's sleep needs. There are several reasons for this unfortunate miscalculation. One is the temptation to accept as normal certain fatigue-related phenomena such as falling asleep in the car or having to be awakened in the morning. Another is the failure of parents to recognize symptoms such as crankiness, temper tantrums, hyperactivity, headaches, and leg pains as manifestations of sleep deprivation. Instead these behaviors and complaints may be blamed on dietary deficiencies or some inherent personality flaw.

Carried by waves of technological change, our society has drifted from a lifestyle that was once dictated by sunrise and sunset. We have come to accept an abbreviated night's sleep as the norm. I continue to be troubled by how many parents believe that nine o'clock is an acceptable bedtime for a five-year-old who must be awake by seven to get ready for kindergarten. They wrongly assume that because their friends' children go to bed that late or later it must be normal.

There is a phenomenon scientists call "biologic variation." In simplest terms it means that we are all a little bit different. Your child may become tearful and clingy when she gets overtired. Mine may become belligerent and hyperactive. Your neighbor's six-year-old may appear to function perfectly well on ten hours of sleep each day, and your six-year-old may wake with fatigue-related leg pains if she gets anything less than twelve hours. It just happens.

I doubt that I will live long enough to see all of these differences and vulnerabilities explained, but I am sure that eventually scientists will be able to identify some of the minor variations in brain structure and chemistry that are to blame for these inequalities that at times seem terribly unfair. Don't wait for science to catch up with your own observations. Learn how your child's body and behavior respond to sleep deprivation and learn how much sleep your child needs. You can use Dr. Ferber's chart as a place to start, but your child's requirement may be slightly more than his table suggests is optimal. Don't compare your child's sleep patterns to her playmate's or her cousin's. You may be unaware of the problems their parents are experiencing. Each child has her own limits and peculiar ways of responding when those limits are exceeded. Yes, there are patterns, but treat your child as the special and unique individual that she is.

Here Are Some Clues That Your Child Is Sleep-Deprived:

Your Child May Not Be Getting Enough Sleep/Rest If...

When compared to Dr. Ferber's table, her sleep deficit is more than an hour.

She must be awakened in the morning.

When allowed to sleep in the morning she sleeps more than a half hour longer.

She falls asleep as soon as she begins an automobile ride.

She is frequently cranky and whiny.

She has numerous temper tantrums.

It is hard to describe her as a happy child.

She wants to carry a special stuffed toy or blanket all of the time.

You frequently find her sucking her thumb.

She often wakes at night with leg or foot pains.

She frequently has what appear to be nightmares.

She has severe afternoon or evening headaches that may be accompanied by vomiting.

She seems distractible or hyperactive at times, usually in late morning or late afternoon.

Despite doing well in grade school her grades begin to fall in middle or high school.

She frequently says she is tired.

This is only a partial list. There are numerous other symptoms and behaviors that can be attributed to fatigue. If you can honestly describe your child as happy and content 95 percent of the time, your child is probably getting enough sleep and rest. However, if your child frequently seems unhappy or angry, and/or you aren't enjoying being a parent, it is time for the sleep solution.

Copyright © 2000 by William Wilkoff, M.D

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Fireside (November 9, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684869160
• ISBN-13: 978-0684869162
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #921,709 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Straightforward, upfront advice!, January 23, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children (Paperback)

I wish I had found this book when my son was younger. Instead, I wasted time feeling guilty when Dr. Weisbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" told me my baby wouldn't cry if only I would get my timing "perfect" or fretted when Dr. Jodi Mindell's book told me I absolutely could not nurse my six month old right before bed. Maybe my exhaustion with all the other "expert" baby sleep books is the reason why I appreciated this book so much. I found it, first of all, a very organized straightforward book. It laid out EXACTLY how much sleep babies need by age, and it gave very simple advice on how to achieve those sleep needs. And, frankly, I found the author's willingness to acknowledge that sleep training is going to result in some crying to be a refreshing change of pace from Weisbluth's coy allusions to catching your baby's "wave" of tiredness, and "surfing" him to a cry free sleep. Obviously, if you are put off by any "crying it out" references, you are not going to be crazy about this book. But I found it straighforward, simple,and organized.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Don't Overlook the Obvious, December 20, 2006

By 

Angela Henderson (Grover Beach, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children (Paperback)

This was on sale at a local bargain bookstore. I was able to read the whole thing in less than two days, and I was impressed with the author's knowledge about the subject. I must say, more than any other book I have read, he seems to pinpoint many of the symptoms of sleep loss and the general seriousness of it. I have one twin that is a terrible sleeper, and this book described her problems with complete accuracy. I agree with the author that it's a serious problem that can add so many other difficulties to your family life that might not even occur to you are related.

One of the most important things he points out is that just because your friends are putting their kids to bed at 9pm, doesn't mean it's right for your child. In fact, they probably shouldn't be doing it, either. He includes charts on how much sleep kids actually need to help give you some idea.

I have also read the No Cry Sleep Solution books (including the toddler version). I would recommend those as companions to this book, as those books have more examples of actual techniques.

9 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written with expert advice, October 17, 2000

By 

James B. Maas "Psychology Professor" (Ithaca, New York USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children (Paperback)

As a sleep researcher and educator I am always looking for simply written "how to" books based on strong empirical evidence. Dr. Wilkoff knows what he is talking about and covers all the bases. Want to avoid unnecessarily cranky children? Want to live with a happy youngster who is fully alert all day long? Want to be a better parent? Read this book!