My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face (Hardcover)

by Michael Ian Black (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"Michael Ian Black has proven that even the most simple-minded among us can occasionally create works of genius." -- Stephen Colbert

"Like all custom vans, Michael Ian Black's book is customized to fit all your needs and wants for the journey of your life. It's luxurious, entertaining, spooky, disturbing, and hilarious. Devil's in the details! It's stocked with tacos, vampires, squirrels, a cleaning lady, scented candles, salami, tundra, and a foreword by Abe Lincoln himself -- now that's Class with a capital C. Enjoy the ride of your lifetime." -- Amy Sedaris

"This is a great book for shut-ins, for people who like to laugh at sentences, and people who like to move their belongings from place to place. In fact, anyone who likes to pack or ship anything will find a lot to like in these pages." -- Dave Eggers

"Fun to read while you're pooping." -- Sarah Silverman

"I always walk away jealous and a little fearful of Michael Ian Black's sharp comedic wit. If you like your comedy dry, absurd, and unforced, you will love this book." -- Jim Gaffigan

"Michael Ian Black speaks to the laughless in all of us and asks, 'Why aren't you laughing?' Then he takes the laughless in all of us roughly by the shoulders and INSISTS THAT WE LAUGH, usually by writing exceedingly funny and compellingessays such as those included in this volume." -- John Hodgman

"Michael Ian Black is so wrong that he's right." -- Lewis Black

Product Description
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.

Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*.

How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade."

Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all.

Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead.

And this flap copy.

Enjoy.

* Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 223 pages
• Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment; First Edition edition (July 15, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416964053
• ISBN-13: 978-1416964056
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (256 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #37,202 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #70 in	Books > Entertainment > Humor > Essays
  #75 in	Books > Literature & Fiction > United States > Humor

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Maybe I'm not classy enough for the vine..., September 4, 2008

By	Em EmCee "is outta heeere." (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews

...but I love this book to death. I want to be buried with it. When I die, I want it to be because I laughed so hard I accidentally ate the book and then I want to be buried in a coffin made out of this book. Just kidding - I want to be cremated.

Okay, here's my real review:

Michael Ian Black is a genius and to me, his book is hilarious. But like any brand of comedy, you have to be predisposed to it. If it's not up your alley, it's not up your alley. It seems to me that those reviewing this book negatively (I'm looking at you, Amazon Vine) are not taking into account that this is a particular type of humor and are instead reviewing based on their personal comedic preferences. It's like going to see a sci-fi movie and saying it wasn't good because you prefer romantic comedies.

Within this genre of comedy, however, Michael Ian Black does it best. If you like your humor a little vulgar and definitely surprising, then this this book is for you. If you prefer the Blue Collar Comedy Tour or remember The State or Stella as the stupidest things you've ever seen, then it's probably best to shy away from this one.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Warning: May cause severe laughter , September 2, 2008

By	Leslie Ann Lewis (San Antonio, Texas) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

(What's this?)

What can I expect from a collection of humorous essays introduced by Abe Lincoln? Apparently, hilarity.

I have enjoyed the talents of Michael Ian Black for several years across several television stations and different program formats, but I approached the book carefully for several reasons. In my opinion, so much of comedy is in the timing of the delivery, the cadence of the speech, and the inflection in the voice that I often approach comedic books with trepidation, if not outright fear, of wasting my time. I have read books written by other comedians that fell flat because there was not enough thought given to the change in format. Written comedy has to be presented a little differently sometimes to still come out funny, and some jokes do not translate at all (try reading a transcript of "Who's on first?"). Additionally, many comics try to write a whole book and present it the way they would a set or a monologue. A book cannot be fine tuned to the reaction of the audience as it is read (at least, not yet) so there is no way to gauge which part you should ad lib a little on and which part you should drop. It is also hard to be topical because some issues have no lasting impact and you cannot really revisit them. Few comedic books have earned my respect and few still have been recommended by me to friends and family.

Somehow, Mr. Black managed to discover a way to not only preserve his delivery but also to give us a book with humor that has no expiration date. Presenting his work as a collection of essays gives the reader options not available in a traditional format. Here, if I start reading an essay and it does not suit my mood I can simply flip a couple of pages and move on to a different entry. It also makes it something you can easily put down and come back to again (see Sarah Silverman's suggestion on the back cover).

The delivery works, the format works, and the humor is the sort I can visit over and over again when I need a good laugh. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys sarcasm, laughter, and occasional nonsense.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enough Home Runs to Warrant a Read!, September 10, 2008

By	UhOhBadDog (Scaggsville, MD, USA) - See all my reviews

(What's this?)

Wasn't quite sure what to expect with this one, but overall, I liked it! A great bathroom read, or an easy airline read, it will keep you chuckling, and yet don't be confused as this is not literary genius. It is meant in humor, and he hits a number of balls out of the park, and I couldn't contain my laugh-out-loud responses. I liked Michael Ian Black on "Ed", and he unexpectedly crosses over to the written word very well. Give it a go, and in the meantime, I'll be looking forward to his next effort!