Customer Reviews

My Fair Maiden

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The story had a nice build up of the romance between the two characters. Also I enjoyed the details painting a picture of the village and surrounding forest in which the story took place. In Ch. 7 "The Overlord Comes," there was excitement and anticipation with the arrival of the Dark Overlord, however I feel that rather than the character reflecting on the years that had passed since the incident, in the next chapter, there should have been a more direct connection to build toward the climax. I would definitely recommend fleshing the characters out further as well as working on the transitions between chapters. Overall a fun read!

There were several things that disappointed me about this short story, the primary one being that there was no plot. The narrative jumps from first- to third-person for no apparent reason, and though there are only two characters, neither of them is delineated in a way that gives them life, personality, or interest to this reader. There are some jumps between actual events and dreams which left it unclear as to which was which. At one point the protagonists are brought into a situation with some degree of potential for peril and mystery, and the next page picks up the narrative some considerable time later, the (potential) crisis point skimmed over and forgotten. (And just as a side note, who in their right mind leaves burning candles unwatched in a hay loft?) I would assume Mr. Switzer is an aspiring writer; if so, he would profit from some training, or even a quick skim through "Creative Writing for Dummies" to develop his ability to structure a plot and flesh out a character. Save the dollar until Mr. Switzer has had a chance to more fully develop his talents.

This short story is really romantic! It has some adventure, some lust, and good laughs. Very light and fun!