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My Father's Heart: A Son's Journey

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On September 30, 1969 the author Steve McKee was sixteen years old and was just settling into his favorite chair to watch TV with his fifty year old Father John. The rest of the family was out for the evening so it was just Father and son. They were just starting to watch the second ever episode of "MARCUS WELBY M.D." when Steve; "heard it before he saw it. The sound of air being pulled through tightly clenched teeth. By the time he turned to look at his Dad he had heard it twice. His Dad's eyes were wide open, his brows pushed up onto his forehead, his lips pulled wide across his mouth in a leering, maniacal grin. He looked like the pictures Steve had seen of astronauts' faces on the rocket sled, their faces yanked back by the G-force. With every gasp his back slammed into the couch and stayed there, stuck to it, as if there were someone or something behind the couch holding on to him." There is much more agonizing description, gut wrenchingly replayed about the moment when John McKee died of a heart attack in front of his son at the age of fifty. I will leave the rest of the horrific event to future readers of this book. But this moment in time is where this story starts.

This book is built around a number of topics that are of great consequence. There are many stories in print or on TV and in the movies, where children wail against a Father they never knew, or a Father that deserted them. But in the midst of the centerpiece of sadness that this son's story is built around, is an uplifting love that was lived and shared, albeit taken away too soon. The son celebrates his loving family and neighborhood friends his family had, but also made a personal pledge that he would not make the "THREE BIG MISTAKES" his Father made. His Grandfather died at fifty three from a heart attack. His Uncle Ed died of a coronary thrombosis at age forty three, his Uncle Frank died of an acute coronary at age fifty. Yet despite the clear warning of the "disease" that ran in the family, John McKee smoked three packs of cigarettes a day. One of the most poignant examples of Steve's crystallizing his Dad's smoking problem was his flashback to one of the great joys of his childhood, fishing with his Dad. One of the most important things a Father teaches a son about fishing is patience. Let the bait stay there for awhile. So when they would fish they would wait to catch a "CIGARETTE FISH." It upset the author to have to give cigarettes a starring role in his fishing story, but they deserved it. "It took Dad about seven minutes to smoke a cigarette. He timed it. At Muddy Creek, in this favored spot, seven minutes was also about the time it took for our bait to travel counterclockwise through the entire pool, so long as it didn't get hung up on the branches. Waiting for one cigarette to get smoked forced patience, especially on me. You don't want to pull the worm out of the fish's mouth. It also provided Dad the opportunity to smoke a cigarette, not that he needed one. Dad inhaled three packs a day, a sixty count. At seven minutes each, that's seven hours of smoking a day. Subtract seven hours for sleep, and Dad spent 40 percent of his life with a cigarette. "MISTAKE ONE:" Steve promised himself he would never smoke. Even though the promise of heart problems hung on his Father like leaves on the family tree, John never did the "road work" as he called physical exercise. "MISTAKE TWO:" Steve ran track, played basketball, ran marathons, rowed stationary boats. "MISTAKE THREE:" John was under constant stress at a corporate job that he never liked and the more stressed he became the more he smoked. Steve did volunteer work, got into writing, etc. things he enjoyed.

During the introduction portion of the story, the author says that he went back to school eight days after the funeral. He said he would tell his story starting with that eighth day and work back to his Father's death. As he discusses relatives or friends during each segregated day, he cleverly flashes back in time, and tells entire detailed histories of people and cities, and at times the stories lose some traction in the emotional tale being woven. Throughout the entire story the author is totally self- effacing and keeps his Father on a rightly deserved pedestal, but never lets the reader forget the statistical and emotional warnings to fighting heart disease. Being a Father and a Son myself, I couldn't imagine a better testament to the loving remembrance of a Father by a son including his fatal deficiencies.

This is an amazing story focusing on 2 themes as I see it. First, about the power of community. The community and the love it shared and poured out on its' people, had a huge impact on the author. Secondly, the struggle this author fought in coming to terms with the death of his father at a young age and its' impact on how he lived his life is an amazing story.

The author recounted many experiences where the "York Crowd" literally shaped his life and that of his family, is a testament to the value of caring for others and impacting another's life. It is the truest sense of caring for others, not only when the chips are down, but also when the going is good. In the world we live in today, where "meism" is paramount, it is a refresing look at the power of extending beyond oneself in the most basic aspects of life, to live a life full of joy and true servanthood to others simply because of the joy in it. There are no heroes here, just simple pouring out of oneselves because it is the right thing to do.

The struggle this author endured to come to terms with the "Preventable death" of his father in his eyes, is a lesson and a tale in humanity's struggle to not repeat mistakes. The author realizes in the end, after practically his life's journey(up until this point)that genetics are what they are. Yet, the ace in the hole is the journey that he took and it's own pleasures in coming to terms with his family's medical history. He never would have traveled the globe or gotten the lifetime opportunity to participate in an athletic event with his son that brought his experiences as a child around 360 degrees.

You may think this is a rather serious account of his life, yet it is peppered with humor that had me rolling on the floor(doesn't happen very often these days) simply because I could whole heartedly relate to some of the humorous stories. It is a must read, a little slow at first if you are not interrested in the history of 2 geographic regions, but stick with it because it was a page turner for me. Thoroughly enjoyed the book and it's impact has already encouraged me to value true community and caring for others. I may even attempt to be a bit more patient with my own children in trying situations to display unconditional love. John McKee's patience with his son(the author) in his bed wetting experiences is an incredible display of love.

Author Steve McKee's father died from a heart attack in 1969 when he was 50 years old. His father, John, was a lifelong smoker with a stress-filled job. Steve had tried to get his father to quit smoking and change his lifestyle, but to no avail. Sixteen at the time of his father's death, Steve vowed to avoid his father's bad habits. He never smoked, exercised religiously and tried to avoid job-induced stress. Yet, as age 52, he found out that he had cardiovascular disease.

My Father's Heart is "the story of one father, one son and one family." It is the story of a son's journey to get to know his father better and to better understand himself.

"I have become who I am because of Dad, because of that night," writes McKee, who was alone with his father at home when he suffered the fatal heart attack.

McKee tells the story starting with the first day he returned to school after his father's death and concluding with the day his father died, a week earlier.

McKee does an excellent job of sharing memories of his father, detailing family history, interspersing information about cardiovascular disease, and discussing growing up in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It's a memoir worth reading.

I heard about the book, "My Father's Heart: A Son's Journey" during an interview with the author, Steve McKee. The reason for the interest was loosing my husband suddenly last July 30, 2007 to a massive heart attack.
We have 4 children, 2 boys then 2 girls. They range in age 41 - 47 years old.

The children have become very conscious of making sure that they are getting thorough doctor examinations every year, something that, especially the men, have not been faithful in doing. They all do exercise. So this part is good. However, they are all having a very difficult time in the grieving process because of the closeness to their father. He was a very animated and loving man, so the void is great.

When I listened to the interview on the Today Show, I thought that this book might just be something that the children should read to help them in their loss. I purchased 4 copies and gave a copy to each one on Valentine's Day.

I have started to read the book and have found many similarities that I know they will be able to relate to.

I was very happy to have found the book on Amizon.Com. The cost was a lot more reasonable then if I had bought these copies at a book store. I received the books 3 days after I ordered them.

This book depicts the love of family and the loss of a very dear member of that family, even though the father, knowing his condition, did not take care of himself as he should have.

The number one killer in the United States has a personality. In Steve McKee's family odyssey--as with most people's--heart disease is very personal. It can snatch the life of your father, turn your world upside down, make you obsessively interested in your family tree, drive you to swear oaths of healthy eating and exercise, wring your worried hands over living long enough to see your own children make it to adulthood, curse the universe because you got what your father got, and finally understand that the life you want is up to you. "My Father's Heart" is as much about healthy hearts and loving hearts as it is about hearts under siege.

A touching book that brought me back to my own childhood...I am thankful to the author for impressing on me a very important lesson, that is, even though our fathers may pass on physically, their memories continue to live in our hearts forever influencing us in very important ways. Even though I was fortunate to have my father until he was 84 years old, it will always feel that he too was taken from our family too soon. My father's death, like the author's, from a heart condition, taught his children how very important it was to take better care of ourselves physically before it was too late. I especially appreciated the author's depiction of his childhood years, growing up in a neighborhood similar to my own in suburban Detroit. The author brought it all alive for me. This book is a GREAT read and I highly recommend it...

As a teenager author Steven McKee watched his father die of a heart attack in their living room, part of a family chain of heart disease and death caused by lifestyle and family heritage. Disappointed by his father's ignoring of his disease, the author vowed to keep his heart in top condition - yet a lifetime of dieting and exercise didn't change his own diagnosis of serious cardiovascular disease. McKee's probe into a family heritage of illness makes for a moving story blending health and genetic insights with his own discoveries of motivations for change and health, making for a moving, engrossing survey hard to put down. Both health libraries and general-interest collections will find it involving.

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

I loved this book. Seldom has a book left me feeling so depressed. In the end, it left me feeling a little philosophical and not totally resigned to my fate. I packaged it up and sent it to my brother with a strong recommendation that he read it. This book is our story, too; children of a father who experienced his first heart attack in his early 40s and who died at 50. Like the author, we've been running -- and biking and swimming -- from it ever since. I think Mr. McKee does his best to add greater universality to the story; his account of his Irish-Cathlic upbringing in small-city Pennsylvania in the 1950s and early 60s is certainly detailed and charming. However, because the story centers around a genetic-based problem that not a large segment of the population shares, I don't think I would recommend it to my friends whose parents are still healthy and active in their 80s, or to my husband, whose mother died at 61 from a stroke, or to my nieces and nephew, whose father -- my youngest brother -- died at 46 of a brain tumor. When the author reveals near the end that, somewhat ironically, his adopted son suffers from juvenile diabetes, I was left -- again -- with the realization that all life is finite, and none of us knows when or how it will end. If you share Steve McKee's story, this book will hit you where you live. If you don't, I'm not sure it's worth a visit. Sorry Steve.

Steve McKee has written a touching, nostalgic and informative book that will appeal to everyone.
My Father's Heart is about Mr. McKee's family's experience of his father's fatal heart attack that came in the prime of his life. The book explores the personal and biological legacy of Mr. McKee's father's death. Cutting back and forth in time and geography Mr. McKee creates an engaging story that weaves themes of family and community relationships, coming of age and how he has come to terms with his father's heart attack and death.
The book is also very informative about the current state of medical arts concerning healthy heart care and healthy living; the interplay of biological predispositions and the impact and control we can have on our own medical destinies. Mr. McKee leaves us with the reaffirming message that we are capable of influencing the course of our physical wellbeing and our life outlook.

This is an inspiring book, written with great intentions. Though the story itself seems a little too personal, much like someone showing their home movies where you don't know a single person, there is much to admire.

It's a compelling cautionary tale about the death sentence of living a stressful, sedentary, cigarette-filled, workaholic life. It's ironic when the author -- after living for many healthy years exercising, eating right and not smoking -- is diagnosed with heart disease himself. The humbling truth is that no one can escape their genes, however much they try. But healthy living combined with modern medicine can make the difference between life and death.

McKee frames his story in an unusual way: backwards. The first chapter starts on the eighth day after his father dies, and it moves back in time with the subsequent chapters. Chapter two is the seventh day after his father dies, chapter three is the sixth day, etc. This makes it hard for the book to build much of a flow, but the statistics on heart disease alone make it worth the money.