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My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires Paperback – August 7, 2012


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Goldsher (Paul Is Undead) has devised the perfect book for readers who believe that The Sound of Music needed more caustic vomit, lesbian vampire sex, Nazi Undeath Squads, the ghost of John Coltrane, and copious lashings of gross-out humor."
-Publishers Weekly

"Goldsher delivers knowing commentary on genre conventions. Every scene is either a romp of PG-13 double-entendres or a blood bath."
-Kirkus Reviews


Bloody brilliant. (Parade on Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion)

Goldsher imbues his broad, over-the-top, gleefully gore-flecked horror with nuance. A gag-per-minute pace. (NPR on Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion)

About the Author

ALAN GOLDSHER is the author of 11 books, including that acclaimed Beatles/horror/comedy mashup Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion. As a ghostwriter, he has collaborated with numerous celebrities and public figures. For more information, please visit AlanGoldsher.com.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (August 7, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 031264020X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312640200
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,821,321 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Alan Goldsher is the author of ten novels, including "Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion" (Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster), "A Game of Groans" (St. Martin's Press/Thomas Dunne Books, as George R.R. Washington), and "My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the von Trapp Family Vampires" (St. Martin's Press/Thomas Dunne Books). Written as A.M. Goldsher, his chicklit books "The True Naomi Story," "Reality Check," "Today's Special," and "No Ordinary Girl" were released by Little Black Dress Books in the U.K. and Marabout in France between 2008-2011. His non-fiction titles include "Hard Bop Academy: The Sidemen of Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers" and "Modest Mouse: A Pretty Good Read."

As a ghostwriter, Alan has collaborated on projects with numerous celebrities and public figures, including actor/comedian Kevin Pollak ("A Few Good Men," "The Usual Suspects"), film director Tobe Hooper ("The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"), Chef Stephanie Izard, and jazz guitarist/vocalist George Benson.

His music journalism has appeared in Bass Player and Guitar Player, and his sportswriting has been seen in ESPN The Magazine, ESPN.com, NBA.com, and ChicagoBulls.com. He also reviews books for Kirkus.

During his 10-plus years as a professional bassist, Goldsher recorded with Janet Jackson, Cypress Hill, and Naughty by Nature; toured the world with Digable Planets; and performed at the 1994 Grammy Awards.

Alan lives and writes in Chicago. Visit him at http://www.AlanGoldsher.com.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Dark Faerie Tales on September 6, 2012
Format: Paperback
Review courtesy of Dark Faerie Tales

Quick & Dirty: A quirky twist on The Sound of Music, but wished it was a little more tame.

Opening Sentence: Housed on what the majority of Austrians agreed was the most rancid corner in Salzburg, the nameless Abbey was an eyesore, so painful to look at that nobody looked at it.

The Review:

My Favorite Fangs is a quirky twist of The Sound of Music, by Alan Goldsher. I was really curious about the story behind the cover, only because The Sound of Music is a childhood staple of mine. The concept of vampire Von Trapps? Count me in!

Maria has lived a long life in Austria, living in the Abbey of the Dead, with her fellow sisters. Unfortunately, Mother Zombie (Superior) has had enough of Maria's crazy quirks and antics and has wanted to banish her from the abbey. Well, I wouldn't just call them crazy quirks, she is oversexed and clearly does not behave as the other immortals. Mother Zombie has sent out Maria to become a governess. To match Maria's personality, she will govern the Von Trapp family, who have their own interesting set of personalities.

The Von Trapps are wealthy, spoiled, and unruly, and I think those were their best qualities. Things get out of hand and Maria turns one of the Von Trapp children into a vampire, and the fun begins. Lady Barroness makes an appearance, and has quickly become enemies with Maria. Goldsher added a lot of his own individuality into My Favorite Fangs, and this version is definitely for the more adult crowd.

Maria the vampire version is a little different from the pop culture Maria that I grew up with. Unfortunately, I was constantly comparing the two. This Maria was blunt and without shame, overly sexed and nothing like a saint.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Linda Sharp on August 9, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The Sound of Music is clearly not one of Alan Goldsher's favorite things. It is however one of mine. I also love zombies and vampires and found Pride and Prejudice and Zombies hilarious. I was very excited to hear about this book and preordered it. After about 1 chapter and a quick skim of the remainder I closed the book for good. It will be either donated or more likely tossed in the recycle bin. I am no prude but I found Goldsher's "humor" to be juvenile and unnecessarily vulgar. Seriously - renaming Mart Farta, Maria is a whore, Mother superior a brutally aggressive zombie, The Captain a vomit prone alcoholic...
He dedicates the book to his loving wife who I hope also does not have any love for the original story.
Zero stars- This book "sucks"
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Diana (@Offbeat Vagabond) on October 17, 2012
Format: Paperback
My Favorite Fangs is The Sound Of Music with vampires, zombies, John Coltrane's ghost and Nazis. Yup, that should tell you all plenty. This is a crazy and fun read. Given that The Sound of Music is a childhood favorite, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to read this.

Maria is a very interesting lead. She is a vampire and she loves that she is a vampire. She wears tight black catsuits and kills anything in sight. But she is quite the bad seed. She lives in the Abbey of the Dead. It is fill of zombies and one zombie in particular Mother Zombie (aka Mother Superior. Love it!). So Mother Superior kicks Maria out and tells Maria to become a governess for the Von Trapps. Maria, of course, is not happy about looking after children that may actually burn her alive, but Maria has other plans up her sleeve for the Von Trapp children.

Maria is a very quirky character as I have mentioned. But she is nothing compared to the Von Trapp children. They are spoiled as hell and quite frankly, homicidal. Maria doesn't take this lying down. So in order to control them, she turns them all into vampires. And surprisingly, things start to look up. We then meet Captain Georg von Trapp and his lover, Lady Baroness. The Captain is either too stupid or drunk (most likely both) to notice that something is off with the Baroness. But Maria knows and they both have a feud. The Baroness and Maria were a lot alike. More than I think they would admit. I loved the rivalry that took place between them. They are both witty characters and are very shameless, especially Maria. She has no filter whatsoever.

Goldsher definitely knows his musicals and he did wonderful job showcasing that. The characters personalities aren't quite like how they are in the movie.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By A. G. Reed on March 2, 2013
Format: Paperback
Some parodies are clever, insightful, and funny. This one is not. This book had been on my bookshelf for months, and after reading a series of thick, heavy, overly-academic books, I was very much looking forward to a light, fun read. Whereas this book certainly seems to have been written by a brainless idiot, very little was funny or entertaining. The writing was sub-par, the " comedy" trite and overdone and way too Seth MacFarlane-y (even for Seth MacFarlane), and the plot was... well, it was plotless. Imagine Family Guy, subtract all the clever references and cut-aways, reduce the IQ by three standard deviations, and mix in some really bad soft porn and you have this book... and a total waste of time. One star is about three stars too many, but Amazon doesn't let us give negative ratings.
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