Customer Reviews

My Flesh and Blood

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I am an avid documentary viewer and this is by far the MOST moving documentary I have ever seen. The filmmaker was given one year (no more, no less) to record the events of a most extraordinary family. Susan Tom is a single mother who takes care of her own biological and adopted children. Most of the children have a variety of special needs and Susan's strength, intelligence, humor, kindness, empathy, tenacity and flexibility allows her to give each child the attention and parenting they all need and deserve. The family is alarmingly honest and each person in the film moves through an epic struggle. We are so privileged to watch. The family loves, fights, support. Within the year's framework, the filmmaker catches heartbreaking and painful moments. There are also many joyous moments. The film stays with the viewer- dare I say- forever. I am a parent of a autistic son, and I have often felt alone in my struggle to make life the best it can be for him. The world can easily judge, can easily misunderstand. Without my advocacy I know my son would not be as secure and happy as he is today. In Susan Tom, I have found a personal hero- a woman who is beautiful and intelligent and a master at her job. Thank you to the whole Tom family (and to the filmmakers) for giving the world a glimpse. I wish you all the best. You touched us so deeply- Joe, Anthony etc.
PS. My daughter and I cried deeply- make sure to have kleenex handy when viewing. Film's official website:
http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/flesh_and_blood/

This compelling, heart-breaking documentary shows a lonely single mother who adopts more and more children with special needs and lives in a constant state of being overwhelmed. The film asks the question: At what point does giving become a need that reaches a point of no return. For example, the mother's biological daughter cries in anguish when she realizes her life is about helping her mother care for the adopted children while her own needs are left ignored. The film offers no easy answers. Nor does the film paint the mother in a simple light. She is a complex woman full of complex motivations for adopting more than a dozen children. The filmaker is sympathetic and offers no judgments. He simply allows us to struggle with making our own conclusions. The children are presented in a noncondescending light. They are loveable survivors. One twelve-year-old boy however is severely angry, largely in part because his biological mother abandoned him when his health problems became too difficult, and he shows that he is a danger to the other children. He talks freely about wanting to kill them. His anger combined with his need to be loved puts the mother and the rest of the family in their biggest dilemma and is a major focus of this excellent documentary about a family that out of their daily crises grow a profound love for each other.

There are so many good things I could say about this movie. It's almost hard to know where to begin.

At first, you get the impression that Sue Tom (The Mom and "a woman of a certain weight"), is so desperate for companionship that she creates her own brood by adopting special needs children. But not 15 minutes into the documentary you realize, this woman was *born* to be a Mom and is a gifted, patient, hyper-intelligent and compassionate soul.

Then you realize how blessed these children are to have found someone willing and able to not only be their mom, but to love them unconditionally and raise them to be happy, mentally-healthy and perspicacious adults.

And then there's the issue of the children. The first time I saw "Faith" (the little girl who was so badly burned) appear on screen, I had to close my eyes. Her physical appearance was very severe. But before the movie was half over, I found myself falling in love with this precious and precocious little girl. She's got a sweet nature and a wisdom that belies her age. Close your eyes and listen to her voice and you'll hear an angelic voice laced with a tenderness and thoughtfulness that is soul-stirring.

And the ending is stunning. I'm still thinking about the ending.

This documentary has changed the way I view the world and view others and think about myself. If I were queen of the world I'd sit everyone down one Sunday night and make them all (all six billion of us small-minded earthlings) watch this movie.

I have seen a variety of documentaries and could not recommend anything better. I was drawn to this film as I am training to work with children with special needs. However, I witnessed an entire room captivated by this film. Not a dry eye in the place. The emotions evoked from this film are remarkable. It provides viewers the opportunity to experience life with the Tom family--and gain a new perspective of living life to the fullest. I promise this film will leave every viewer with something special.

Being a resident of Fairfield, it's a small enough world that I actually ended up working with one of the Tom kids! The now adult Margaret is still extremely headstrong independent and amazing. She has a strong work ethic and a zest for life unlike some people I've seen in our town. The film only briefly shows her and at the same time, she is absolutely touching...her struggles with "not doing enough" and all must have been hell for her. I respected her before I viewed to picture and now even more I respect her for staying strong in such a huge family. Meeting all the kids is an amazing experience too! Their mom is very humble, and even at my comment of "I just have to say you are AWESOME" she quietly said Thanks, and i brought them their food. She really is remarkable...The family is remarkable, such honest special people.

The film is nicely shot in digital video. The family unit is shown and while dysfuntional is very much an all american family, with issues and hard times. It is a definite break from the normal "hollywood" family. You don't see everyone smiling and acting like lifes just a breeze. It's a beautiful emotional film with a heart and a great entertaining learned feel to it. It is even better if you meet these remarkable individuals. They really are beautiful people.

I just happened to see this DVD is passing at my local Best Buy. I read the back and then put it back down and then saw it again and thought, what the heck, I'll give it a try. Now, I can't tell people enough about it. No matter what you have going on in your life, watch this movie. It puts everything into a whole new perspective. WOW.....the ending was stunning, never did I imagine the way it ends.

My Flesh And Blood is an outstanding documentary that showcases one year in the lives of a woman and her adopted disabled children. Their life stories are told to varying degrees while the focus remains on the events that naturally occur over twelve months. We witness great suffering, hope, pain, joy, happiness, creativity, love and a deep drive on the part of everyone to keep on living, even if it's only one day at a time, in order to stay alive and enjoy the best quality of life possible while they're here on this Earth.

The household is essentially run by a woman who has a heart of gold, Susan Tom. Despite the fact that her marriage didn't work out she adopted one more child after another until she had about eleven adopted kids in her home with varying degrees of different types of disabilities. Unlike some other reviewers, my heart went out the most to Joe Tom, who suffers from both cystic fibrosis and emotional problems. Joe lashes out verbally at other kids in the home because he was never loved the right way to begin with; and his birth mother isn't much of a help even when she thinks she is being helpful. Joe threatens to hurt or even kill other kids in the household but he stops (at least) at verbal abuse; I have the feeling that if he had been treated with the proper therapist a lot of his emotional problems could have been greatly improved. In addition, I also felt a great deal of admiration for a young girl who has no legs; we see her happily enjoying life, swimming and even doing her own form of jumping rope using sneakers on her hands for balance! There's also the very touching and emotional portrait of a young man who has a rare genetic disorder that makes the skin less adhesive to the body; I couldn't believe how brave he was! Susan Tom lovingly gives him a bath four times each week--and that takes roughly three hours each time because his skin condition is so bad that she must go very slowly with the bath so as not to hurt him too badly. Wow!

We also see Susan as a human being--with flaws as well as her strengths. Naturally, she is an inspiration to us all in that she has the patience to deal with all these children and she cares for them really rather well overall. That is, overall. We see how eventually Susan's own daughter breaks down in tears because Susan is so busy taking care of the adopted children that she doesn't have time for her own daughter! I thought Susan could have handled this better; she essentially tells her daughter that they'll schedule a time to talk about it the following morning. Susan just doesn't have the time to go into it right now. Gee, if Susan doesn't have time for her own daughter, can she truly sleep well at night? I suppose the answer is that she can; Susan believes that she IS doing the best that she can do under the circumstances; and there's certainly truth to that.

The DVD comes with deleted scenes, follow-up interviews, and an interview with Susan's eldest sons in addition to other bonus features.

My Flesh And Blood tells the remarkable story of a woman who loves children and taking care of others so much that she goes well beyond the call of duty to help as many disabled children as best she can regardless of the problems they have. I highly recommend this documentary, while Susan Tom isn't perfect (she's human, after all), she cares the way we all should care; and that's what makes this film an important example of just how much love can do to improve the lives of those of us who are less fortunate.

Charity personified. An unforgetable portrait of courage and sacrifice on the part of the mom, and of courage and tenacity in the children. This movie speaks to the meaning of life (which is never seen in modern media).

One of the best documentaries I have ever seen. A family composed of a mother and thirteen children, eleven of them adopted, is followed for a year of their lives in such a way that each child can be appreciated as an individual, without disabilities or other special needs overshadowing the person. The extra features are excellent, too, especially the discussion between the filmmaker and the mother.

This is a documentary you will want to see more than once, as it is a remarkable story of an extraordinary family. The decision Susan Tom has made to adopt so many children is astounding, and she deserves a lot of respect, even tough she is not portrayed (or wants to be portrayed) as an angel or saint. We (as viewers) see that there is normality within that "abnormality", as the household have to deal with the same everyday stuff all families deal with (on top of the specific (medical) problems relating to the various members of the Tom family). I must admit my heart broke a couple of times during the movie and I will never forget this family. The dvd also has some fine extras and is very highly recommended.