My Heartbeat [Hardcover]

Garret Freymann-Weyr (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 29, 2002

Ellen loves Link and James. Her older brother and his best friend are the only company she ever wants. She knows they fight, but she makes it a policy never to take sides. She loves her brother, the math genius and track star. She is totally, madly in love with James, his face full of long eyelashes and hidden smiles. “When you grow out of it,” James teases her, “you will break my heart.”

Ellen knows she’ll never outgrow it. She’ll always love James just the way she’ll always love Link. Then someone at school asks if Link and James might be in love with each other. A simple question.

Link refuses to discuss it. James refuses to stay friends with a boy so full of secrets. Ellen’s parents want Link to keep his secrets to himself, but Ellen wants to know who her brother really is. When is curiosity a betrayal? And if James says he loves her, isn’t that just another way of saying he still loves Link?

My Heartbeat is a fast, furious story in which a quirky triangle learns to change its shape and Ellen, at least, learns the limits of what you can ever know about whom you love.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Narrator Ellen learns about love, family and "society's unwritten rules" in this sophisticated but gentle novel set in Manhattan. Ellen adores her older brother, Link, and has had a crush on Link's best friend, James, since seventh grade. But at 14, when she starts high school, popular classmate Adena, who really likes Link, mentions to Ellen: "They're like a couple, aren't they?" Freymann-Weyr (When I Was Older) subtly and authentically follows Ellen's thought process as the question triggers a series of responses: "I resolve never to ask them. Ever. I resolve to put it out of my mind. There is no reason for me to know." Yet Ellen reviews their past behavior for clues. When Ellen finally frames the question to Link and James ("I spear a cherry with an unused fork... and ask if they are a couple"), Link denies it, avoids James and gets a girlfriend. Ellen and James, meanwhile, grow closer. As their relationship becomes physical, some inconsistencies surface (e.g., why, if Ellen is so loyal to her brother, would she "date" James?). But the sensitivity with which the author handles the issues of whom one loves and complexities more far-reaching than sexual concerns outweigh these minor matters. Ellen relates telling details about herself and those around her with humor and compassion, exposing the many dimensions of her parents as well as the three featured teens. A thoughtful approach to the many confusing signals that accompany awakening sexuality. Ages 12-up.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From School Library Journal

Grade 9 & Up--In this tightly constructed novel about love, family, and the ambiguities of sexual identity, Ellen, 14, idolizes her brother, Link, and his best friend, James, who are seniors. When she enters their private Manhattan high school, she is surprised when some girls assume that Link and James are "a couple." Things begin to unravel when she puts the question to them: Link avoids James, starts dating Polly, and drops out of a special college math program to pursue his interest in music. James tells Ellen he has slept with men, but that he is also attracted to women; the two of them spend time together alone for the first time and, after much thought and discussion, she has her first sexual experience and he his first with a female. Ellen desperately wants to understand her brother, and realizes that her parents do not know him the way they think they do. They are well-respected, educated professionals who place high expectations on their children, hoping to shape their lives into models of themselves. Ellen begins to try to relate to them honestly so that they will really know her, and attempts to understand the dynamics of her family and of her relationship with James. The author provides some profound insights to help readers understand the motivations behind the characters' actions but ultimately young people must come to their own conclusions about the choices made and their consequences.
Susan Geye, Crowley Ninth Grade Campus, TX
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 12 and up
  
• Hardcover: 160 pages
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Books for Children; None edition (April 29, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0618141812
• ISBN-13: 978-0618141814
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.9 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #772,256 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Welcome to my Amazon page. I think I'm supposed to be formal here and speak about myself in the third person, but I'd rather just say hello. I'm very excited that I wrote the story for a beautiful picture book called French Ducks in Venice (play the video that the brilliant Erin McGuire made and that the equally brilliant Jeff Freymann-Weyr did the music for).

Normally I write novels for both adults and young adults (a fancy phrase for people who are 12-18, although I have lots of readers who are younger and older than that). In addition to French Duck in Venice, I am the author of My Heartbeat, a Printz Honor book, which is being reissued by Houghton Mifflin in June, 2012. I also wrote Stay with Me, The Kings Are all Here, and When I Was Older. For a long time, I lived in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. and then in a small town in North Carolina.

Now I am living in a lot of different places at once, which can be confusing. Fortunately, my dog, Henry (see photo), comes everywhere with me.

I grew up in New York City and miss it everyday. I have an MFA from NYU and I teach writing when I am not writing.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Listen, March 5, 2003

By 

"blissengine" - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Heartbeat (Hardcover)

Ellen has always tagged along with her brother Link and his best friend James. They've been inseparable for some time now, and Ellen can't help but be crazy about James. During her freshman year in high school, one of the other girls asks her if James and Link are a couple, and suddenly things begin to change: for Ellen, for Link, for James, for their families. Exploring the gray areas between gay and straight, "My Heartbeat" is an exceptional story aimed at a young adult audience, but certainly deserving a larger audience. Freymann-Weyr's writing is lush without being too flowery, sparse without telling too little. She tells us a lot through this tale, and "My Heartbeat" shines because of it.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not the most pleasant read..., August 1, 2006

By 

Jessie (NYC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Heartbeat (Hardcover)

When I first chose this book I thought finally, a new twist to the boring old love story! But towards the end the book was agonizing and it almost felt like the author abandoned her characters. It felt like Link was finally being true to himself when all of a sudden James sleeps with Link's 14 year old sister and ISN'T gay anymore? What about Link? How does he feel? It was never said and the ending felt so sloppy. I guess the biggest problem for me was the characters never stayed true to who they are and everything felt so strained at the end. Not a pleasant read to me but loved the concept and we should defiantly have more stories about these subjects.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Big Wow, November 27, 2005

By 

Library Gaga (North Carolina) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Heartbeat (Hardcover)

I come down on the side of squeamish when a story veers into fourteen-year-old girls having sex. Many fourteen-year-old girls, of course, will think it's nifty that an author can limn exactly what's going on in their minds: the confusion, divided loyalties, the extreme hotness of a sixteen-year-old Johnny Depp look-alike with his melting brown eyes and square jaw who is gay but could be persuaded (is it hot in here or is it just me?)

The trouble with this wonderfully perceptive book is that it's possibly over the heads of its intended audience. The public library labeled it JF, but I think it's YA or even adult. Not because of the subject matter (the girl in question senses her brother and his best friend are gay) but because the dialogue and observations attain a level of sophistication difficult for the young to fully grasp. Conversations between parents and children reach new heights in hidden meanings, double entendres, and acute self-knowledge, even though the brother is described as not knowing what he is or what he wants (he's gay, but is unwilling to own it).

It could be that elite Manhattan parents leave their young teenagers to fend for themselves with pockets full of twenties and lax curfews. I found the freedom of these characters easy to swallow - if they were twenty instead of the high school freshmen and juniors they were. And these were parents who supposedly cared very much about their children.

Regardless of these reservations, My Heartbeat is a realistic, excellently written, engaging story with living characters. The inner workings of Ellen's mind are right on. The description of Link and James' relationship fits friendships one has observed in life. Especially enjoyable were the discussions about literature and foreign films, and about finding one's own voice. Come to think of it, I would have loved this book had I read it at fourteen. But I was an unusual child.