My Lesbian Husband: Landscapes of a Marriage [Hardcover]

Barrie Jean Borich (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 1999

Winner of the American Library Association GLBT Book Award

Finalist for the Lambda Literary Award

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Barrie Jean Borich's memoir of her 14-year marriage is a subtle exploration of gender and the intricacies of butch-femme desire. In dense, lyrical paragraphs, My Lesbian Husband describes Borich's first attraction to her partner, Linnea, and the slow building of their life together in a decaying neighborhood in Minneapolis. Borich traces both the pleasures and the wrenching difficulties of trying to construct a long-term union in the absence not only of legal and social support but of everything that our aunts and uncles and parents take for granted: "names for their union in every language, the weddings of a square-chested prince and a big-busted, cinch-waisted princess at the end of every Disney movie, every Shakespeare comedy, not to mention Mary and Joseph, Hera and Zeus, and those little bride and groom figurines they have saved from their wedding cakes." This is as sharply observed and well-written a memoir as Jan Clausen's Apples and Oranges, but a valentine rather than a valediction. --Regina Marler

From Publishers Weekly

Thoughtfully mapping the landscape of love and commitment outside the legal and societal comfort zone of state-sanctioned marriage, Borich repeatedly asks Linnea, her lover of "twelve years and counting": "Are we married?" It's not an accusation, a manipulative device or a pointed query so much as an attempt to probe what it means to be in love and to share a life for many years without the social benefits and familial recognition granted to Borich's two married younger brothers. Not merely another queer commentary (or diatribe) on marriage, this memoir is foremost a graceful and compelling rumination on love. In the course of her paean to Linnea, and using their life together on Portland Avenue in Minneapolis as a kind of metaphor, Borich ponders how she got to this place in her life. A recovered substance abuser who once spiraled perilously downward, devoid of any focus beyond hanging out, Borich is truly in recovery, a partner in a love that literally reconfigures her existence. Elucidating a host of lesbian issues from the butch-femme dynamic to "serial non-monogamy" to changing sexual politics, Borich also addresses more global concerns, such as neighborhood confraternity, racism and violence. Though the narrative trajectory sags a bit during the endless idyll of Borich's love (which has no downside and is never punctuated by disagreements, except in the first year when a psychic led the author astray), this tale of heart and home and what it means to find both in a tough and alienating world offers many pleasures. (Sept.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Graywolf Press; 1 edition (August 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1555972926
• ISBN-13: 978-1555972929
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #896,134 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #43 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs > Lesbian

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Heartwarming Portrait of Love, November 22, 2000

By 

Lezbrarian (New Mexico) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Lesbian Husband: Landscapes of a Marriage (Hardcover)

Winner of the American Library Association's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Book Award, this is a heartwarming work of creative non-fiction. Alternating between present and past, the reader enters the author's 13 year relationship w/ her "lesbian husband." Readers see everyday slices of life: buying a house, moving, walking the dog, dinners with friends, etc. within the context of a long-term lesbian relationship. Attending a family wedding prompts the author to ponder what she should call her partner, is a ceremony necessary to recognize/legitimize her relationship? A well written, touching story of lesbian love and devotion.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Happy ever after, August 3, 2000

By 

"allergic" (Kowloon, Hong Kong) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Lesbian Husband: Landscapes of a Marriage (Hardcover)

I found this book very useful in changing people's idea of being a lesbian mean being unhappy, and tortured. We can live a happy and somewhat "conventional" life, with a partner, and a family too. I think that it's the best way to show others our pride.