My Louise: A Memoir [Hardcover]

David Collins (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 2002

A moving account of a young woman's tragic struggle with breast cancer, and her bereaved husband's fight to control his grief and provide a home for their two-year-old daughter.

At the age of 34, while seven-months pregnant with her first child, Louise Mooney Collins first discovered the breast cancer that would forever alter the lives of Louise, her husband David, and the daughter who would soon arrive to join their harrowing struggle—one that ultimately ended with Louise's death nearly three years later. From those experiences and his ensuing grief, and from recollections of the couple's love affair and journeys into his deeper past, David Collins has created this hauntingly beautiful memoir.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This heartbreaking memoir shows the emotional turmoil that comes when a seemingly ordinary, happy life is suddenly turned inside out. Collins's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was seven months pregnant with their first child and, despite the latest medical interventions, she died when their daughter was two years old. Left a single father to a toddler daughter, following a wrenching few years struggling with his wife against cancer, Collins recounts here pieces of the time before and during the battle, while explaining his attempt to move on with his new life. He draws a beautiful and compelling portrait of Louise and of young Robin, remaining honest about the difficulties that exist in every marriage and parent-child relationship. His own trials are obvious, yet freshly described, and his frank account of the role a husband plays in the terminal illness of a wife is painful but admirable. Perhaps most notable is his evolving perspective on parenting, from the subtle and sad transition as he takes over primary care of Robin when Louise is no longer able, to the time after her death when he is both mother and father, finding he has more in common with other mothers his age than with their husbands. Collins's forceful, absorbing account will resonate with grieving readers. He writes, "The biggest problems seem to solve themselves when they're ready... I think I'll just point myself in the right direction, fold away this picture of my wife and daughter in my heart, and let the adventure continue." (Oct. 15) FYI: Ontario Review Press was founded in 1974 by Joyce Carol Oates and her husband, Raymond J. Smith.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Collins' meditation on his wife's death from breast cancer reads like a meandering journal entry, interspersing memories of the couple's courtship and pregnancy (during which her illness was diagnosed) with forthright depictions of her chemotherapy and eventual bone marrow transplant. Collins is most effective when describing the family's last few months together; shortly after the birth of their daughter, Robin, Louise's cancer recurs, and she comes to accept that she will not live to see their daughter grow up. His account of Louise's courage and his grief in the face of this reality are moving and true, as are his frank depictions of the ravages--both psychological and physical--of her treatments. Frequent digressions on the foibles and frustrations of single fatherhood seem out of place, and given the title, readers may wish for a better sense of Louise, who emerges from the narrative as a somewhat indistinct figure. Still, Collins' conversational tone will appeal to those who might be put off by more formal "literary" memoirs. Meredith Parets
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 203 pages
• Publisher: Ontario Review Pr; 1 edition (October 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0865381070
• ISBN-13: 978-0865381070
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.7 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,242,510 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Reality check, October 10, 2002

By 

John P Cortez (Dark Star, Ore., USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Louise: A Memoir (Hardcover)

Seems to me the makers of so-called reality tv would do well to find a new name for their "craft."
Collins' book is nothing if not a clear, concise report on the cruel blows that *real* reality can deal to the innocent and unsuspecting. It's at times chilling and at others amusing, but always real. Reads like a reporter's notepad, with the pages ripped out and put back in no particular order, recounting a harrowing battle, with bits and pieces of gripping narrative, fanciful recollection and heartfelt observation.
From a strictly logistical standpoint, it's a quick, easy and unfettered read--pretty difficult to put down once you get it going. The language is straight and pointed, the tone at once hopeful and gut-wrenching, the pacing nearly perfect as it effortlessly blends seemingly contradictory descriptions of the clinically sterile and the fiercely emotional.
The author lays his soul bare, with all the sadness, bitterness, love and unrequited vengefulness you'd expect from someone in his shoes. Collins is painfully forthright in his presentation, though at times a bit repetitive, the repetition merely a byproduct of his brutal honesty and the constant self-examination that frames the story, refusing to conclude even as the book itself does.
Because at its heart, this story of love and death is really an exercise in dealing with very real emotions, and it contains the requisite accompanying conflict, backtracking and soul-searching. It's a struggle in which the narrator frequently questions the motives of a supreme being that he'd have you believe he isn't sure exists, but of course then to whom are all the questions being directed?
Anyone who has been through this awful struggle, with or without the worst imaginable result, will see a reflection of self in the author's words, feelings and deeds. And anyone who hasn't will see what they would imagine themselves to be in the same situation.
And that is the book's greatest triumph. It's the real deal. Unvarnished, unpasteurized, unadulterated, unglossed and unfair.
A must-read.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Perseverance amidst prodigious tribulations, October 28, 2002

By 

Stuart A Moutrie (West Orange, NJ USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Louise: A Memoir (Hardcover)

At some point or another--and whether we like it or not--we are bound to experience tragedy within the course of our lives. For some, that personal loss may refrain until we've spent innumerable years with our loving spouse, but for others, a tragic blow may be dealt much sooner and with absolutely no remorse. In David Collins' case, he was forced to watch a ravenous cancer steal away his young wife's life, and as if that wasn't enough, he was then left to raise their new daughter on his own. His memoir is an account of experiencing a horrid loss, but also of how to pick up the pieces and move on with life, if only for their daughter's sake. Fortunately for Collins, however, his daughter (Robin) provided one true tangible link to his lost wife. And throughout the struggles of raising a child without his Louise, he hints at the idea that--without Robin--moving on after such defeat may have been impossible.

What Collins has done so efficiently (along with his intense appreciation for aesthetics) was to encompass all the feelings that one might have while losing their spouse, and then vividly depict them throughout the story. At one point, he personified the disease, citing several times how he would have liked nothing better than to pummel the rapacious cancer from his wife's withering body. He was tired of failed treatments and hospitals; he just wanted to get this disease in a ring and duke it out.

Furthermore, Collins aptly described the frailty of life, which most of us tend to forget about until real disaster strikes. Amidst his drowning in a sea of hopelessness, he yearned for powers beyond his reach - anything that could save his young wife, he was ready to do. Yet the harsh reality of this world proved that there was nothing more that could be done. His defiance of the impending loss seemed as obstreperous as his wife's own battle with the unabated cancer, but Collins (appropriately) never delved too far into the details of Louise's personal struggles. He may have stripped his own emotions down to their purest and rawest form; but he managed to give the reader a heartfelt glimpse of Louise's suffering without being superfluous.

These were real emotions that any one of us could feel, and Collins held nothing back when expressing his disgust for Louise's cancer. And while he hints at an ambivalent God during his incessant bouts with frustration, he manages to exert hope that perhaps someone up above took his Louise for a good reason.

From his indelible love for his wife and countless battles with his precocious daughter, to a brief stab at imperialism and questioning of piety, Collins has written a daring work, one which I thoroughly enjoyed. I found that I shared with him many of the same opinions: relationships (and marriage) are not always utopian, but with mutual work, life with your loved one has the potential to be sublime. Moreover, when that fortuitous battle arrives (be it cancer or some other tribulation), it can be vehemently fought as a team, not unilaterally.

We don't ever want to give in or give up, but how do we carry on when that battle has been inexorably lost? As Collins stated, "...a miserable situation can be endured..." but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. This story of grief seems like it could only be found within the pages of a book, but the fact of the matter is that it did happen; it happens to both good and bad people, and it's going to happen whether we like it or not. The true task is perseverance and subsequently finding the needed strength to carry on. For David Collins, he found his strength each day when he looked at his daughter. He had to carry on, if not for Louise, then quite simply for Robin.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My Louise: A Memoir, October 11, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: My Louise: A Memoir (Hardcover)

Ever been on a rollarcoaster of emotions~we all have and this book does just that through words and the overwhelming history of love and loss~given to David by fate. I laughed, cried, and truly "felt" the words David Collins used in his book. I picked it up and couldn't put it down because he let the reader feel his pain through the eyes of a husband struggling through his personal rollarcoaster. In the end, you just wanted to love him for who he was and what he has done for himself and his daughter. Powerful. Pick it up and enjoy!