This book may have a rubber ducky on it and a baby born at the end of it, but beyond that, it has little to do with most parenting/pregnancy books, and the fact that Askowitz is single or a lesbian aren't, ultimately, what sets it apart so much as her outlook. She's supposed to be ecstatic; she split up with her long-term girlfriend and went through the rounds of picking out a sperm donor specifically so she could become the mom she's longed to be.
But she's not happy. At all. She misses her girlfriend fiercely, and is still dealing with the harrowing death of her lifelong friend. Both of these events, the breakup and the loss of her friend, form the backdrop to the growing life inside of her. Yet they don't stop Askowitz from being scathingly hilarious, sparing no one, including her siblings, parents, extended family, friends, exes, coworkers and Lesbian Camping. When talking about how her ex-girlfriend Kate gained 40 pounds while they were together, Askowitz doesn't hide her revulsion, and upon being asked "Would you want my body?" Askowitz replies "No, but it's perfect on you." Askowitz then wonders, "Why couldn't I have said nothing, or changed the subject?" It might be tough to take if your its recipient, but as a reader, Askowitz has taken her best moments and turned them into something that readers can laugh at.
Oh, and she also rightly calls Sex and the City on a particularly self-loathing moment, which Amazon probably won't let me repost (it has the "p" word in it). Prepare for a lot of profanity. Prepare to sometimes get sick of Askowitz's whining. Prepare to laugh uproariously at very simple but moments, like her reflections on one of her potential sperm donors: "5599's brother was diagnosed and treated for obsessive-compulsive disorder at 21. He wrote: `My brother's health is excellent. He's taking medication, and he's fine now.' His maternal grandmother drank herself to death at 45. He'd probably say she's fine now. He's out."
Sometimes it's hard to wonder just how those in her life put up with Askowitz's demands during her pregnancy, yet this is what makes powerful memoir: honesty. She doesn't sugarcoat her grouchiness or the intensity of labor. And perhaps the most vital story here isn't about Askowitz becoming a mother, but searching for acceptance from her family after feeling like the family freak after she came out as a teenager. The end is the tearjerker the rest of the book hasn't quite prepared you for, yet she still ends on a note so befitting this book, I'll just have to quote it: "Excuse me, Dana, that's my tit."
Askowtiz may have been miserable and lonely, but this book is full of humor, not the kind going for cheap easy laughs, but a very strongly Jewish, feminist, often righteous, lesbian brand of humor Askowitz was clearly born with. It's uncensored, full of dyke drama, told in sometimes brief diary snippets, with other asides into her childhood in Los Angeles. This memoir has roots, and will make you laugh as well as cry as it goes from childhood to death to birth and circles through the three. I'm glad Askowitz didn't try to soften any of her edges, because her sadness, flashes of anger, moments of self-pity and doubt coincide perfectly with her humor and faith in the future and her child. And you so don't need to be a lesbian or pregnant to enjoy it (though I'd imagine being either will make it an even better read).