My Mother My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity [Mass Market Paperback]

Nancy Friday (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 15, 1978

Drawing on her own and other women's lives, Nancy Friday shows that to a woman's character the key lies in her relationship with her mother - that first binding relationship which becomes the model for so much of a woman's adult relationships with men, and whose fetters constrain her sexuality, independence, and very selfhood. Friday believes that on the deepest level women will always be their mother's daughters, and that only when they recognize and understand this will they be able to find their own strength and direct their own lives.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Nancy Friday grew up in Charleston, South Carolina. She graduated Wellesley College in Massachusetts, and has edited a travel magazine, as well as contributing to 'Cosmopolitan' and 'Playboy'. She is married and lives in New York and Key West. Her other books include 'Jealousy', 'Men In Love', 'Women on Top' and 'My Secret Garden'. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 475 pages
• Publisher: Dell; 2nd edition (September 15, 1978)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440156637
• ISBN-13: 978-0440156635
• Product Dimensions: 7 x 4.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,500,732 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

NANCY FRIDAY is the author of eight books: MY SECRET GARDEN, FORBIDDEN FLOWERS, JEALOUSY, MEN IN LOVE, MY MOTHER/MY SELF, WOMEN ON TOP, THE POWER OF BEAUTY and OUR LOOKS, OUR LIVES. She lives in Key West, Florida, and in Connecticut.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

65 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Most Important Book For Women to Read, May 4, 2002

By 

Carmen Matthews "The Serene Samurai" (San Diego, California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity (Paperback)

In 1989, I had the "opportunity" to be around family more than I had been in my adult years. And it was with the help of this book that I learned to accept my mother, while I still owned every painful emotion that I experienced in her presence.

It was after one of those phone calls where if you are a woman you may be familiar. I just couldn't seem to get the connection that I desired from my mother. And I didn't know how to language the problem, so that I am free to live my own life.

It was after that telephone call, in 1989, that I bought this book, and have read this book many times since then.

The first wonderful experience that I had, as I read this book was the realization that my mother did the best that she knew how to do. That acceptance created a level of peace within myself, because it freed me to stop looking for the perfect mother.

You will learn from reading this book, that your mother really is your first mirror. And by reading this book, by facing your first mirror, in a psychic way, you will give yourself, and your mother permission to be separate, lovable, empowered women.

This book also is great for helping women to treat one another better. Because although we have more opportunities, women still hold one another back in the worst of ways - many women still believe that our opportunities are limited, and that if a woman is successful, she is taking all the power away from other women.

Read this book to love yourself.

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you buy self development books, this should be your 1st!, March 22, 2000

By 

Rosemary Felle "Sufigirl" (Maspeth, New York USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity (Paperback)

I've had this book since it first came out, and have read it several times. I read it every couple of years because I have found that I get something different out of it each time. It is the most powerful book on self development I have in my library. Maggie Scarf " Unfinished Bussiness" is the second.

If you were to have only one book of this kind in your life, "My Mother, My Self" is the one.

Nancy Friday is a thorough researcher and an excellent definer of the complex language of psychology. She is clear & concise for all reading levels from high school on. Reading this book does take time, since her research is so revealing and often heavy. Be prepared for shocking subject matter.

This book has served me very well over the years as it will anyone else who reads it.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Re-read and appreciated MUCH more after 10 years!, August 2, 2000

By 

Bernadette A. Moyer (Lutherville, MD USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity (Paperback)

I read this title when it was first published and at that time my motivation was in trying to understand my own ambivalent feelings about my mother. Today I finished it in search of trying to understand my twenty year old daughter. This title has helped me on both ends.

First my own mother was never what I preceived she should be, I had my mental image that she did not live up to, and as a teenager, like most, I was very critical of her. This as noted in the title is about healthy separation. Most daughters when they come to learn they really can fly on their own can and do return to a grown up healthy mother-daughter relationship.

Of course, my mind was that I would never let my daughter feel the void I felt with my own mother. I was affectionate, supportive and present for my daughter. My mother of course was not these things in my view. I believe that I raised my daughter much differently than I was raised by my own mother. I have no recall of long conversations, hugs, kisses or tender times with my own mother. I do however have many memories of these times with my own daughter. From the book and from my own personal experience I have learned, it really made little difference. My daughter would do what she wanted, how she wanted in her own way to self identity. Also from this book often the separation is harder and harsher for the closer mother-daughter bond.

This title was ahead of its time when I first read it, all the women's groups were recommending it. All these years later I have to say it has stood the test of time.

Need to understand the mother-daughter bond better? Then this IS the book to buy!