Customer Reviews

My Mother My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

In 1989, I had the "opportunity" to be around family more than I had been in my adult years. And it was with the help of this book that I learned to accept my mother, while I still owned every painful emotion that I experienced in her presence.

It was after one of those phone calls where if you are a woman you may be familiar. I just couldn't seem to get the connection that I desired from my mother. And I didn't know how to language the problem, so that I am free to live my own life.

It was after that telephone call, in 1989, that I bought this book, and have read this book many times since then.

The first wonderful experience that I had, as I read this book was the realization that my mother did the best that she knew how to do. That acceptance created a level of peace within myself, because it freed me to stop looking for the perfect mother.

You will learn from reading this book, that your mother really is your first mirror. And by reading this book, by facing your first mirror, in a psychic way, you will give yourself, and your mother permission to be separate, lovable, empowered women.

This book also is great for helping women to treat one another better. Because although we have more opportunities, women still hold one another back in the worst of ways - many women still believe that our opportunities are limited, and that if a woman is successful, she is taking all the power away from other women.

Read this book to love yourself.

I've had this book since it first came out, and have read it several times. I read it every couple of years because I have found that I get something different out of it each time. It is the most powerful book on self development I have in my library. Maggie Scarf " Unfinished Bussiness" is the second.

If you were to have only one book of this kind in your life, "My Mother, My Self" is the one.

Nancy Friday is a thorough researcher and an excellent definer of the complex language of psychology. She is clear & concise for all reading levels from high school on. Reading this book does take time, since her research is so revealing and often heavy. Be prepared for shocking subject matter.

This book has served me very well over the years as it will anyone else who reads it.

I read this title when it was first published and at that time my motivation was in trying to understand my own ambivalent feelings about my mother. Today I finished it in search of trying to understand my twenty year old daughter. This title has helped me on both ends.

First my own mother was never what I preceived she should be, I had my mental image that she did not live up to, and as a teenager, like most, I was very critical of her. This as noted in the title is about healthy separation. Most daughters when they come to learn they really can fly on their own can and do return to a grown up healthy mother-daughter relationship.

Of course, my mind was that I would never let my daughter feel the void I felt with my own mother. I was affectionate, supportive and present for my daughter. My mother of course was not these things in my view. I believe that I raised my daughter much differently than I was raised by my own mother. I have no recall of long conversations, hugs, kisses or tender times with my own mother. I do however have many memories of these times with my own daughter. From the book and from my own personal experience I have learned, it really made little difference. My daughter would do what she wanted, how she wanted in her own way to self identity. Also from this book often the separation is harder and harsher for the closer mother-daughter bond.

This title was ahead of its time when I first read it, all the women's groups were recommending it. All these years later I have to say it has stood the test of time.

Need to understand the mother-daughter bond better? Then this IS the book to buy!

This book is a must read for every young adolescent girl who find themseleves torn between their quest for individuality and their desire to retain a symbiotic nature with their mother. Friday answers several important questions regarding the development of young woman's sexuality, and the conflicts and misguided messages she faces in trying to grow up as a free thinking, independent women. Much to my surprise, Friday showed me the tremendous influence my parents had in shaping my life, especially my mother. This book is a definite keeper and one you will surely discover brings light to so many unanswered questions.

I wish that I had been told about this book when it was first published - it would have saved a lot of heartache! Before the end of the first page I was able to relate to Nancy Friday's comments and experiences. I must have said "that's me!" a million times. This book is a "must" and should be read by men and women - the insight is quite extraordinary - and it is encouraging (or perhaps depressing!) to know that, basically, we are all the same!

It took me a while to get into this book... there were several occasions where I tempted to give up on it.

I'm glad I stuck with it though.

Those of you with a difficult mother/daughter relationship will probably benefit from reading this book. I know I did. Even though the author isn't a mother (which does bother me a little), I feel that her theories make sense.

The version I have of this book is quite old and was published in 1977(I picked it up in a used bookstore). I'm not sure what type of editing has been done on newer versions but I'm sure the main message will be the same.

My Mother My Self would benefit women who would like a deeper understanding of their relationship with their own mother, and also their daughters. Men might like to read this to understand the complex dynamics of these relationships.

This is an excellent book! Really essential for women whom have trouble with their mothers when dealing with anger, fear and other mixed emotions. You will catch yourself reading some of the passages over and over and over again. This book touches your heart and doesn't let go. I have read this book several times and each and every time I do get something different out of it. This is an excellent self-development book and I highly recommend it to everyone...men and women alike.

Upon re-reading this book after many years, I found that unconditionally embracing what were once Friday's unique perspectives on our relationships, especially with our mothers, is as bad as buying into society's bill of goods as to who we are and who we're supposed to be as women. There was a time when these ideas were on the mark, but for any person who questions what they read and are told by the "experts," this book can be disturbing in its rigidity. No modern free-thinkers need apply!

What I loved most about this book was that the women who gave birth to us are our mothers, but women who teach us life lessons are also our mothers. The definition of mother grows with our abilities to accept more nurturers and teachers in our lives. It is very important to accept the fact about our mothers that they were only human and did the best they could, but that's another life lesson that can ripple more globally.

Ultimately, this book is about choosing mentors and tolerance for human frailties. I'm glad it's still in print.

What a fabulous book! It's especially great for women who have trouble with their mothers specifically when dealing with guilt, fear, and anger, to name a few emotions. You'll find yourself reading passages over and over again. The words on the pages literally jump right out at you and grab hold of your heart. It's definitely something that must be read more than once. Once you pick it up, you won't want to put it down! Flawless! It surely helped me turn my life around.