Customer Reviews

My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I watch/tape Judge Lynn Toler on Divorce Court everyday because I thouroughly admire the wisdom, the sincerity, the life experience, the caring she has for the couples before her and yet, she is NOT afraid to give the the 'straight, no chaser' truth as she realizes its the only way to 'set them free' to healing and change. Judge Toler is very refined in her looks and demeanor and speech, yet when you read this book you will be amazed as to what she had to overcome and the fact that she is where she is today is truly a miracle and a testament to her "mothers rules" that are a wealth of common sense!!!! Thank you Judge Toler for being soooo brave and HONEST!!!!!! Judge Toler has taken a HUGE RISK to share what she has all in order to help others to overcome emotional distress as she has had to.

My Mother's Rules provides a straightforward approach to a collection of anecdotes and rules for healthier living from, first time author and Divorce Court star/judge, Lynn Toler. As the title implies, Toler draws heavily on lessons learned from her mother. She describes her mother's struggles and the strengths she displayed in dealing with horrible conditions resulting from her poverty and an abusive background. Lynn lets us in on her chaotic upbringing with many personal real life stories to show us how not only her mother used the rules, but how she is where she is now because she applied the rules to her life's challenges. As a judge, Lynn found that many people got into trouble because they let their emotions rule them instead of handling their emotions. Her mother's rules are about the proper emotion, what it is and how to find it.

The book outlines a systematic way to address and deal with your emotions in a constructive way to yield positive results. While the stories of Toler's upbringing have their value, the book's strength lies in the logical down-to-earth advice. The rules, many of which are accompanied by their own mini-vignette, are explained at the end of each thematic chapter. Toler states these rules are the cornerstone to a healthy outlook on life. Toler directs the reader to look in the mirror and inspires the reader to become a better person. She provides instructions on how to live according to the rules. I found that some of the "case in point" however, was not always on point.

As much as I admire Toler and was excited to read this book, I found this was a difficult book to read. It reads more like an autobiography - a walk down memory lane of her childhood and her pursuit to the bench. While the information provided is very important, reading the book is easier said than done. I fell asleep every time I read it and I had to force myself to finish it. Lynn has learned a lot from her mother and I believe the rules she has outlined would be helpful to most people, particularly those that may need a honest look at the way they handle life's situations.

Reviewed by Carolyn C
APOOO BookClub

I borrowed My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, from a good friend of mine. Halfway through the book, I already knew that I needed my own copy to give to another friend of mine that was going through some tough times and looking for advice. I knew that this inspirational story would put things into perspective. Lynn Toler's rocky journey to becoming the successful adult that she is today, seems to be nothing short of a miracle when you read about her early childhood. Once you see the very practical rules for dealing with life that her mother taught, it all comes into focus. The story of the Toler family is one that each and every person can relate to in some way. My own family background couldn't be more different, and yet the book is written in a way that made me identify with every page. Lynn's style of writing is so easy to read that you feel more like you are having a conversation with a good friend than reading a book. This is coming from someone that had not finished any book in around 4 years. I typically read a page or two and then fall asleep. This one I looked forward to finding another 10 minutes of free time to read a little more any chance I could. I found myself quoting Toni Toler, the rules, and telling people in my circle how to apply some of the common sense I'd found in the book to all kinds of situations.

While a lot of the situations in the book were helpful to me in understanding other people, there were also points that applied to my own life and issues that I was struggling to understand as a mother, daughter, and sister within my own family. The book was a huge help to me at the time that I read it, and gave me much to think about over the months afterwards. I give thanks to Lynn and Toni Toler for contributing to my own emotional education.

Oh, and I should also say that I purchased another copy to send to my Mom in Kansas as a Christmas gift! She loaned it to a local friend of hers that is struggling with difficult people at work. Like I said, My Mother's Rules is a sort of handbook for dealing with whatever life deals you. READ IT!

Judge Lynn Toler has spent the past decade and more listening to the problems of others. Currently, she is the judge on the syndicated TV show Divorce Court. She attributes her mother's wisdom as the source of her ability to assess situations and make a fair ruling for all involved. Her book is not only a tribute to the teachings of her mother, but a resource for those needing a bit of insight on how to deal with the ups and downs of life.

MY MOTHER'S RULES: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius is a guide for those wanting to learn to control their emotions, even under the worst of conditions. This insight is shown in abundance in Toler's book. She shares her belief that important lessons can be learned from anything. Some of the rules focus on working through problems, identifying and dealing with your weaknesses, realizing that everyone has bad times, believing in self, and living with/laughing at your failings. Others focus on the family, education, interactions with others, and even parenting. My favorite was the portion that deals with self worth. Basically, she says that no one can define you or tell you what you are and are not capable of, when it comes to your life, dreams, and goals. I loved that piece of advice, and also the first-wave rule dealing with anger avoidance and learning how to let things pass without causing unnecessary irritation.

What I liked most about MY MOTHER'S RULES was the honest, down-home feel of Toler's words. She follows each rule with a story example and breaks down the scenario in terms which are easy to understand. Some of the stories are sad, while others are more positive, or simply common sense, but all are insightful. While it is a memoir and she airs a lot of her family's personal business, what stands out most are the lessons from those experiences. She never uses those hard times as a crutch, but acknowledges her shortcomings, moves on, and learns to deal with things. Toler has clearly shown how anyone can overcome obstacles in their path and live a life of peace and happiness.

Reviewed by Tee C. Royal
of The RAWSISTAZ(tm) Reviewers

Every (young) adult should have the benefit of Judge Toler's (and her mother's) wisdom. Toler provides an amazingly honest look at her life and the lessons that she has learned. In an age where personal integrity and responsibility are often lacking, Toler guides the reader to self reflection and inspires the reader to become a better person. This is the kind of book that one wants to share with friends, particularly those that may need honest talk about their troubled lives.

This is an extremely well written and entertaining book. Judge Toler has shed light on so many demons that we all face as productive adults in today's society. I learned so much from her experiences, and plan to share this book with many of my friends and relatives. I highly recommend this book!

Very sad story. I am glad the Toler women survived, and prospered. I just don't believe enduring such horrific abuse without losing one's mind equals wisdom per se. I wanted to shake Lynn's mother and force her to take her girls and leave. This is a different time we live in, and women stayed for security back then. Having suffered so much when her father left her was probably the reason she stayed with her abuser, (mentally ill or not, he was an abuser). I just hope any young women or old, reading this wil not think that staying is the right choice. Today we have so many options, please use them, and get out alive!

The book was interesting. It wasn't what I expected to be a personal account of a family dynamics living of someone with a mental illness. The author's mother's experience with a verbal and emotional abusive husband was not new. Many women her mother's age or era weighed the cons and the pros and choose the comforts as a housewife in the suburbs compared city apartment living as a single parent.

I purchased the book in hopes to learn how manage my relatioship with my young daughter who has difficulty managing her emotions similar to Judge Toler's emotional problems as a young girl. Although my daughter does not display the same type of behavior as she did. I found the book comforting to know despite Toler's disurptive household, she became successful professionally. I have hope my daughter will do the same.

The book is well written that anyone can understand the points or message the author is making to her audience.

I didn't like how she dispelled a christain's comment to her. I hope one day she will have a true relationship with God. Perhaps then she will more interal peace in her life.

I enjoyed reading and learning that she grew up in the same city as I did.

My Mother's Rules is a book everyone should read. It will help you through anything life can throw at you. I speak from experience...made it through the worst depression of my life thanks to the steps in this book. Buy a copy for all your friends too! It's the nicest thing you can do for someone you love!

Sure wish lots of other folks would read this book. Lots of good advice by both Judge Toler and her mother. Easy reading with just enough personal experiences thrown in to make it interesting and believable.