My Mother's Voice [Paperback]

Sally Callahan (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0943873495 | ISBN-13: 978-0943873497 | Publication Date: March 1, 2000 | Edition: 1

My Mother's Voice is a daughter's moving tribute to her mother who had Alzhimer's, and an invaluable guide for all those whose lives are touched by Alzheimer's. Eloquent and passionate, this story of love and commitment chronicles author Sally Callahan's struggle to maintain her mother's wishes, values and quality of life while slowly losing her to Alzheimer's. Excellent and insightful advice helps guide caregivers through each phase of the caregiving journey. This is the first book to address in detail the kinds of decisions and ethical issues that face the caregiver who has the durable power of attorney.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A tremendous amount of effort, insight and courage went into the creation of My Mother's Voice by Sally Callahan. This is a meaty, honest and illuminating must-read for anyone caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease.

"To begin with, author Callahan's book covers just about anything a person would need to know about Alzheimer caregiving-from quality of life issues (Chapter 3) to saying good-bye (Chapter 11). There are over 15 tables for those of us who are visual and like our information complete, concise and easily accessible. Tables 2 and 3 from Chapter 6 on long term care not only contain important questions to ask, but also list specifications which help define good care for someone who is seeking placement in an Alzheimer Unit (Special Care Unit)...

"Callahan's chapter on quality of life (Chapter 3) includes no-holds-barred sections on dignity, respect, disrespect, manners, comfort, independence versus safety and death, euthanasia and suicide. With regard to matters of perspective Callahan aptly writes:

"'In light of this experience it is not surprising to me that persons with Alzheimer's get testy and angry. They must feel as though they are in a foreign country but they can't learn the language and customs. So as caregivers, we should heed the old adage-"When in Rome, do as the Romans do." When working with those with Alzheimer's, enter their world and adapt to it. Learn their language and customs. Respect how they are different and adapt rather than insisting that they adapt, which of course they can not.'

"Most of all, Callahan clearly discusses the importance of understanding that the person with Alzheimer's has no control over annoying and repetitive behaviors. She suggests keeping to a routine and redirecting and refocusing the patient with failure-free activities to ward off boredom. Quality of life can be improved, writes Callahan, by becoming an expert observer and by anticipating the patient's needs, and allowing-in fact, encouraging-the patient to function at as high a level as possible.

"Obviously, Callahan has not only lived Alzheimer's caregiving, but she has also been a voracious student of the disease who has become part of a network of experts. Chapters are woven with the best new information and theories from the most highly regarded experts in the field...

"Callahan does not hold back. She generously shares her wit, wisdom, and even her mistakes...

"It is a compelling journey that we are invited to take with author Sally Callahan in My Mother's Voice. Indeed, she did "get through it" (Alzheimer's) with every effort to listen to her mother's voice. Others can benefit from Callahan's words and I think Rita Callahan would be proud of her daughter.

Reviewed by Nancy Stone Hindlian, MS
American Journal of Alzheimer's Disease
Volume 15, Number 4, July/August 2000 -- American Journal of Alzheimer's Disease

My Mother's Voice should be read by anyone who has a friend or family member diagnosed with dementia. The author became a trailblazer within the health care system to ensure that her mother's values were made operational in the care plans that determined just how she would live and die. -- Ann C Hurley, DNSc, Associate Director, GRECC, Adjunct Associate Professor of Nursing, Northeastern University

This is an outstanding book written by a family caregiver. It is passionate, beautifully written, and will be of great help to others who are going through this agonizing experience. -- Howard Block & Rachel Hawk, Alzheimer's Association, Cambridge, MA

This useful book is needed to educate and inform us about caring for people with Alzheimer's. -- Dr. Bernie Siegel, author, Love Medicine and Miracles

About the Author

Sally Callahan was her mother's primary caregiver for more than a decade. A professional educator and certified Alzheimer's trainer, Sally serves as a board member of the Alzheimer's Association of Cape Cod and the Islands, chairs their Patient and Family Services Committee and facilitates a support group. Sally is an avid reader, woodworker and gardener who works at Massasoit Community College, Brockton, Massachusetts. She lives on Cape Cod.

Product Details

• Paperback: 370 pages
• Publisher: Elder Books; 1 edition (March 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0943873495
• ISBN-13: 978-0943873497
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,713,706 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Guidance, Support and Information!, September 25, 2000

By 

"jfoxcpt" (Mountain View, California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Mother's Voice (Paperback)

I am deeply inspired by how Sally Callahan expresses what it's like to help a loved one with Alzheimer's. Reading My Mother's Voice, I learned a tremendous amount about Alzheimer's, and more than that, I learned how something so frightening and often devastating did not ultimately deprive Sally of hope, common sense and love.

Ms. Callahan not only explains a subject with authority but shares her experience with genuine skill and an open heart. Her expertise and vulnerability create a very moving book.

What I particularly admire is how honest she is about her frustrations. Frustrations with the institutional problems and misunderstandings she experienced with regards to her mother's illness and care. However, she does this without making other people wrong, especially health care professionals involved in the care of her mother. Callahan's book blends civility towards others and fierce advocacy for her mother. She shows how the stress of being confronted with Alzheimer's can be honestly expressed even while maintaining a willingness to give the benefit of the doubt to those trying to help. Her stories are examples of conflict resolution from which family members, nurses and physicians can learn. My Mother's Voice doesn't tell me what to do, it shows me. It's not just about coping with Alzheimer's. It's also about the spiritual fabric of family remaining strong under difficult circumstances. The inspiration Sally Callahan communicates in My Mother's Voice is hard won and true. I hope many have a chance to read her book.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Addition To Your Library, September 4, 2000

By 

Bonnie M. Haley, L.S.W. (Scituate, MA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Mother's Voice (Paperback)

My Mother's Voice is written by the daughter of Rita "Puppy" Callahan, a woman who courageously lived and died with Alzheimer's disease. It tells an intensely personal story of a family struggling to do what is right when it seemed that everyone's definition of "right" was different. As her mother's appointed Health Care Proxy, it was Sally Callahan's responsibility to make the difficult life and death decisions and to be her mother's voice when her mother could no longer speak. It's a position that thousand's of people find themselves in daily and it's an awesome responsibility. Callahan was fortunate that her mother had made her wishes known clearly when she was mentally and physically well. It's difficult to speak for someone when such difficult ethical issues have never even been discussed with the patient. Sally knew what her mother wanted, so why was it so difficult to see that her mother's wishes were honored? The question of whether or not to withhold treatment of a terminally ill patient is a moral one and most everyone has strong opinions on the subject, from close and distant family members to the doctors and nurses empowered to carry out those wishes. The potential for resistance is everywhere and Sally had to battle relentlessly for her mother's right to refuse treatment. In reading My Mother's Voice, it's apparent to the reader that having a large family support system can either make the experience of Alzheimer's easier to bear or it can make things far more difficult. Callahan's family almost didn't survive the ordeal intact. Sally Callahan tells her family's story eloquently, taking us on the Alzheimer's journey with her right from page one. We feel the intenseness of her love and respect for her mother and the grief she feels building every step of the way. By the time we read of Puppy Callahan's death, we feel a combination of grief and relief ourselves. Callahan's book is not only a personal journal, however. It's full of useful information about Alzheimer's disease and what a family needs to know in order to survive the experience. Though she has a strong focus on quality of life issues and the ethical side of caregiving, Callahan includes important information about legal and financial matters, community support services and alternative living arrangements. She includes a wealth of information on how to choose a nursing home that will provide not just housing and medical treatment, but socialization and loving care. Chapter eight offers advice on how to address the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of the caregiver, something Callahan admits she neglected in herself. My Mother's Voice is an important addition to the library of anyone who knows someone with Alzheimer's disease. It will not only touch your heart, you'll keep going back to it as a valuable reference at different stages of the disease. If you are a primary caregiver of an Alzheimer's patient, give yourself a gift. Buy My Mother's Voice.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My Mother's Voice, August 22, 2000

By 

Sally Connolly (Milton, MA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Mother's Voice (Paperback)

August 22, 2000

This book is a necessity for any caregiver of an Alzheimer's patient, whether it be professional or family member. The author covers almost everything you would need to know about in coping with this disease.

The American Journal of Alzheimer's Disease writes: "Callahan's chapter on Quality of Life (Chapter 3) includes no-holds-barred sections on dignity, respect, disrespect, manners, comfort, independence versus safety and death, euthanasia and suicide....Chapters are woven with the best new information and theories from the most highly regarded experts in the field."

I would highly recommend this incredibly informative and insightful book as a must have for family caregivers, a teaching aid for professionals, and as a resource for all.