My Secret Bully [Hardcover]

Trudy Ludwig (Author), Abigail Marble (Illustrator)

Book Description

Age Level: 5 and up | Grade Level: K and up

                                                THE SECRET'S OUT ON BULLYING

Here is the all-too-familiar story of Monica.  She and Katie have been friends since kindergarten.  Monica loves being around her when she's nice.  But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean.  And Monica doesn't understand why.

Monica is a target of relational aggression, emotionaly bullying among friends who will use name-calling and manipulation to humiliate and exclude.  But with a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully.

Including a foreword by the founder of the The Ophelia Project, as well as helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional resources, My Secret Bully is a vital resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors. 

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 2-5-This overtly bibliotherapeutic offering tackles the difficult topic of bullying. Monica and Katie have been friends since kindergarten, but lately Katie increasingly seeks to exclude and embarrass her pal in front of their classmates. Monica's despair and isolation are realistically portrayed and highlight the often-overlooked aggression between females. The child eventually shares her anguish with her mother, who effectively counsels her without presenting any pat solutions or easy answers. Lists of resources for adults and children and discussion points are appended. A muddy palette, uninspired renderings of the characters, and a small typeface detract substantially from the appeal of this picture book. Still, libraries may want to purchase it because of the scarcity of material on this very important issue.
Rosalyn Pierini, San Luis Obispo City-County Library, CA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Review, School Library Journal:
“This . . . bibliotherapeutic offering tackles the difficult topic of bullying, . . . [L]ibraries may want to purchase it because of the scarcity of material on this very important issue.”

Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out:
“Too few resources are available to families dealing with girl bullying. MY SECRET BULLY provides an important resource to help parents.”

Dr. Kathy Masarie, founder and director of FULL ESTEEM AHEAD:
“A must-read for any child who has ever been teased, ignored, or excluded by his/her peers. . . . A very useful resource for addressing social cruelty among children.”

Theresa Markowitz, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology:
"...a desperately needed tool to help parents, techers, and other professionals address the growing epidemic of relational aggression (emotional bullying)."

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 5 and up
  
• Hardcover: 32 pages
• Publisher: Tricycle Press (April 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582461597
• ISBN-13: 978-1582461595
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.4 x 10.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #12,664 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #50 in Books > Children's Books > Social Situations > Self-Esteem & Self-Respect

More About the Author

Trudy Ludwig
Making a Difference in Kids' Lives, One Book at a Time(R)

Trudy is a nationally acclaimed speaker and an award-winning author who specializes in writing children's books that explore the colorful and sometimes confusing world of children's social interactions. She has received rave reviews nationwide from educators, experts, organizations, and parents for her passion and compassion in addressing peer aggression and friendship issues. Trudy presents at schools and conferences around the country and has been profiled on national and regional television, radio, and newsprint.

Trudy's books have received Mom's Choice Gold Awards, Moonbeam Children's Books Gold Award, and are included in the Cooperative Children's Book Center's "Best of the Year" selection, NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Books for Young People selection, and the National Crime Prevention Council's "Circle of Respect" book club selection. She has been featured on ABC's Good Morning America; PBS's Keeping Kids Healthy, and Sesame Street Workshop's Expert Panel video series on bullying.

"Because the social world of today's children is very complex and difficult to navigate, I try to include in my stories the wisdom and insights of young readers so that my books resonate with the authenticity of their life experiences and views," she says. "I also have the added pleasure of tapping into my own inner child--letting her laugh, cry, and simply breathe."

For more information about Trudy, her books, school visits, conference keynotes, and workshop presentations, please visit www.trudyludwig.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hats Off to This Book!, October 25, 2006

By 

BeatleBangs1964 (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: My Secret Bully (Hardcover)

Monica, a "tween" (8-12) is facing the ugly truth about subtle bullying. Her former friend Katie makes snide comments about her to other girls; excludes her from games and tells Monica who she can and cannot talk to.

Monica is devastated; she and Katie had been friends since they were in kindergarten. She cannot understand why Katie turned against her. She tells her mother about the problem, but the two are at a loss as to what to do. To Monica's mother's credit, she does not tell her to be nicer to Katie or blame her; I know from personal experience that when I was a tween that was the kind of atrocious advice I would have been given.

When Katie's insidious hostility becomes so aggressive, Monica suffers from tension and stomach pains. She dreads school. Naturally, this forces her hand into telling her mother about the problem. Monica is empowered once she learns her mother is an ally and not beguiled and duped by Other People's Children, as I always believed mine was. (I never understood why people who are blessed with children sing the praises of Other People's Children to their own.)

Monica's mother comes up with an excellent solution. She said to confront Katie using mental strategy; instead of stooping to retaliation, Monica might say, "Does it make you feel good to say mean things to me in front of other people?" and comments of that ilk. That way the bullying behavior would be on record and Monica could stand tall and walk away, knowing she'd called Katie on her behavior.

Sadly, such insidious nastiness is very common among girls. This is to date the best book I've come across in openly and intelligently dealing with this subject. I highly recommend it to all parents and educators.

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Really Helpful, October 16, 2004

A Kid's Review

This review is from: My Secret Bully (Hardcover)

I'm 10 years old and I've seen and heard girls be mean to each other just like in the book. When I read the book, it gave me a lot of ideas of what my friends and I could say and do when other kids are mean to us.It's also a good eye opener for people who are bullies. It made me realize that I'm even a bully sometimes.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource for Home and Classroom!, September 7, 2006

By 

Sandra McLeod Humphrey "Children's Author and... (Minnetonka, MN United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: My Secret Bully (Hardcover)

Unfortunately, relational aggression is not a rare occurrence, and the type of bullying depicted in this story is far too common. Monica is being tormented not physically but "relationally" by her friend Katie. Katie is talking about Monica behind her back and excluding her from activities they used to do together. Monica begins to feel socially isolated and begins to wonder if there is something wrong with her. Fortunately, she finds the support she needs from her mother who helps her develop some coping tools for dealing with Katie. There is a valuable note to parents and teachers at the end of the book as well as some discussion questions which will facilitate some great discussions both in the home and in the classroom. Highly Recommended!