Customer Reviews

My Secret Garden

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I first heard about Nancy Friday from "Men in Love", a collection of men's sexual fantasies. I found the fantasies in that book to be fascinatingly deep, thought out, and precious to the men who had them. You could actually see the world the man was building in his head. So when I heard there was a book by the same author about women's sexual fantasies I was very interested to see if they measured up.

I was very saddened by most of these fantasies. The sexual world of women in this book, in my opinion, came off shallow and unconcerned with their partners pleasure. The fantasies seemed to only exist to allow the women to bear through the unsatisfying sexual experiences with their men since time after time the women make it clear these fantasies are used during sex and were always of other men. The beautiful chapters in Men in Love where men talk of getting aroused from giving pleasure are absent from this book since the few times a woman is giving a man pleasure, she is being forced to.

While there is nothing wrong with these fantasies in general, putting so many of them in the book makes the book unbalanced. There are even several chapters dedicated to how a woman's sexual frustration can lead her to these fantasies! While I'm sure there are many sexual frustrated women, it made me sad that a woman's sexual world is put forth as simply a by-product of frustration, not a secret world that she loves, just like a man.

My main issue with this is that in the introduction, the author herself reveals a traumatizing experience where she told a lover about how she was fantasizing about another man as they had sex. He became upset and left. So I can't help but wonder if the respondents that made the author feel "normal" were put in the book while women who fantasized about very different things (like their own husbands/boyfriends) were left out.

The saddest outcome of this is that it makes women look like they almost have no attachment to men sexually. There isn't a love for men and the pleasure he is giving you (like there was in men's fantasies of women). It almost seemed like the women were simply using men just to get off, nothing more. And most of the time, it didn't seem to matter who the women were sleeping with. The men in their fantasies were just a means to an end. Some people might say it's liberating for a woman to be portrayed as men have been for years. But I think it does no justice to us to make our sexual worlds a place a man wants to know nothing about since he is lead to believe he isn't even in it. It makes our sexual world look like the place we retreat to to get back at him when he isn't satisfying us.

The part of me that likes to peek into people's minds found some of the fantasies interesting but none of them stuck with me for their depth as the ones in Men in Love. In that book, I felt like the men were happy to finally reveal how precious these fantasies were to them and how much they longed to try them. I felt that the women in this book were more happy in finally revealing when they fantasized (i.e during sex) rather than how precious their hidden sexual world was.

I thought my sexual world was going to be painted with the same beautiful brush a man's was painted with in her other book. But I found too much spiteful fantasizing in this book to feel like the woman's 'secret garden' was portrayed as skillfully as the man's.

As a 24 year old man, I loved this book. The majority of the content is simply what it says it is: women's descriptions of their sexual fantasies. I felt this gave me a lot of insight into how women relate to their sexuality.

I have enjoyed every Nancy Friday book that I have read. In this one, Nancy Friday, brings together women's fantasies under one cover and tries to represent different commonly occurring themes. The book is well organized and gives a great sense of women's interior fantasy life. It is also RED HOT and broke ground at the time in overcoming ignorance and shame where women's sexuality was involved. There is also a similar book on men's fantasies called Men in Love.

This is my new favorite book. It will open your mind to what women are really thinking and you'll learn that they think about sex just as much as men.

it is so important to get a different perspective of the dynamics of a woman's mind. each story is short and to the point, and so eloquently written. whether you stop reading after one brief fantasy, or, continue through the next random few, it leaves one with a feeling of lightness and openess in the mind and heart. it feels safe. its a secret, yet its open....

In turns titilating and downright boring, this was an eye opener in some ways. I know plenty of guys (myself included) with a long standing history of mentally going to the highlight reel of either past experience or fantasy to get them over the hump when they are having trouble finishing during sex. It really never occurred to me that women might do the same. Once I had the idea presented to me, it made perfect sense.

The psuedo-scientific approach was very lacking in any kind of organization, short of allegorically, but the grouping was enough to know when you were about to need to do some skimming over the more disinteresting portions, so I guess there is that.

One more eye opening thing that I got from this, was the PURE fantasy. I always thought of fantasies as someting you need to make come true. The fantasy for fantasy sake is another thing that just never popped into my head. Maybe the typical guy mind set of, "Oh you want something, lets get / do / find / buy whatever it is..." is just too ingrained in our heads, but I liked the idea. It made some of the more degrading mixed domination / beastiality much easier to stomache.

I purchased this book as part of a coming-of-a-certain-age package for a friend, based on recommendations of an AARP publication. Not being familiar with this author I had no expectations. So much has changed for the majority of women since this book was originally written. It may be good for those of an older generation who have not let themselves broaden their view of female sexuality/fantasy & etc. Perhaps at another time the book was helpful.

This book, containing womens' sexual fantasies, should be kept away from the kids, (but perhaps not the partner). It is a wonderful read.

Condition of goods was excellent, and shipping was in time frame stated.

Excellent stories, Fantasies of Every situation in your waking sexual life you would want information on.

This is book is a great read. This is a book written in the 70's about women's sexual fantasies. It provides great insight on what women at that time thought, and fantasized. There is a lot of erotic material and some that is kind of disturbing but what people are into varies from person to person. This book is good for anyone looking to learn more about sexual fantasies. I found it useful in better identifying and perfecting my own fantasies. Definitely a must read for anyone into fantasies!!!