Customer Reviews

My Son . . . My Son . . .: A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss, or Suicide

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Anyone who is in the throws of trying to live with the suicide of a loved one whether it be a child or not could only benefit from owning this book.Of the many,many books I have read on this subject in the year and a half after losing someone dear to me to suicide I can tell you that this book has touched on every stage and emotion and left me feeling that what I go through emtionally and how I go through it is fine.At the stage I am at right now, I realize some of the things in this book would have not been acceptable to me in the beginning but, having had lived through them now, it's reassuring to know I am ok God bless Iris Bolton.

After the 1977 suicide of her 20 year old musician son, Iris Bolton says, "to climb from that emotional abyss would force me to fight the hardest battle of my life." On top of that, she was faced with the stigma of a "failed parent", and, she felt like a "discredited counselor" as the director of a family therapy center. Suicide transmits a public ridicule and private humiliation, grief, guilt and anger.

Bolton eloquently shares her experience with brilliant usage of metaphors to describe the tortured process from grief to survival.

Again, this is HER story and we don't get to much information about the healing process of her other 3 sons and her husband.

But the premise of this story and guide revolves around "a gift" promised by a friend and psychiatrist who said, that there is a gift for her in her son's death, hard to accept now, but it is there if she is willing to search for it if she chooses.

What develops from her painful experience is the "gift"- the ability to truly help and guide others in similar situations. Her gift comes to play when she courageously assists a family whose 18-year old daughter commits suicide. Please read the talk she gave at the funeral in 1980. Another piece she offers is a compassionate message titled "Though We Meet as Strangers, By Our Love We Shall be Known"

Included is a memorable and inspirational poem she wrote about her son, the consequences of suicide and regaining spirit. From there, she has prominently established herself to give hope to others that they, too, can survive and recover.

Aside from Suicide Resources, what is especially important is a guide called "Beyond Survival" that simply lists steps to take. Only one who has healed and survived a tragedy can express this in words. And, crucial information is included called the "Do's and Don'ts." Not having gone through this experience, anyone and everyone giving comfort to those in need should examine this list! In our lifetime, we will encounter some form of comforting. This is an excellent book! Read it.....MzRizz

If I could recommend only one book for those dealing with the suicide of a loved one, this would be it. When our son died a year ago, we were fortunate to receive this book within days of his funeral. Besides being forthright about the special grief following suicide, it also brings a message of hope and healing. For those who may be put off by the title and are suffering through the suicide of a female relative/acquaintance, be assured that you will not feel left out. Iris Bolton also discusses the death of another family's daughter, which makes the book worthwhile for anyone.

I picked up this book a month after my brother's suicide and found it both comforting and helpful. This book focuses on the grieving process and the reactions of those left behind. For someone who had never put much thought into the grieving process before, it gave the information I needed in a compasionate and down to earth manner.

The author shares her own story of her son's suicicde and her path through the healing at the same time she is telling facts and research about suicide. It's what I imagine a suicide support group to be, but from the comfort of my own home.

If you or a loved one have recently been impacted by suicide, this is worth looking into.

This is a very good book. I have lost my son to suicide, about a year and a half ago, and Bolton's story actually helped me realize my loss, what I have been going through, as well as some helpful advice on how to handle this situation. She talks about denial, hiding feelings which help heal, etc. She keeps the reader interested. All sorts of emotions are exposed with this one!!!!

This book has helped me through the suicide deaths of some of my dearest friends. I truly feel this is a powerful guide and starting point for anyone trying to understand what has happened after a suicide. I met Iris when I was fourteen and my best friend commited suicide. Little did I know that 4 years later she would become my counselor through the suicide of my high school boyfriend. She truly changed my life and I thank her for the gift of her wisdom, patience, and understanding; but most of all, the courage to write this book about her own life and the suicide of her son.

Timeless, must read for anyone who has lost someone, particularly by suicide. This was put in my hands immediately after a loss, and it quite frankly saved my life. This is a simply written, non-clinical, "how to" survival book. I'm lucky enough to live in Atlanta, and Iris gladly met with me after I read her book. Phenominal woman, I attend her support groups faithfully.
I would recommend this book for all ages, as well.

This well-written text was extremely helpful to me and my family during an incredibly difficult tragedy, the suicide death of a beloved son. Survivors need education as well as encouragement from someone like Ms. Bolton, who has truly been in our shoes. I have recommended this book to many bereaved, even those who have not been touched by suicide.

In October 1998 my sister lost her only son to suicide. Our family has read every book we could get our hands on in order to try and help her. There is no better book out there. Mrs. Bolton does an excellant job of discribing the pain, the mistakes, and the lessons learned.

If you only buy or read one book about suicide, this is the book to get. An easy read, one you will read over and over and tell everyone else to read. It is sensible, caring and she puts it all in a way that is comforting and insightful.