Customer Reviews

My Spy: Memoir of a CIA Wife

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This is an interesting book about the marriage of a middle class woman of Irish descent to a Hawaiian man of Japanese descent. Aside from the differences in their backgrounds, their lives were further complicated by Joe Kiyonaga's career as a CIA agent. Throw in several children, add tours of duty to Japan, Central and South America and you have a lifetime of various adventures. The author, Bina Cady Kiyonaga writes with feeling, and tells the story of her marriage to Joe Kiyonaga with a great deal of candor, even describing the racial prejudice that her husband had to endure. Her rich descriptions of the various places that the family lived really enhance the story and give it an extra dimension.

Bina has an easy style of writing and describes her life with a great deal of wit and humor. I recommend the book to anyone who might be interested in what it was like for the wife and family of a CIA operative.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I bought this book. However, after the first chapter, I was hooked. Bina Kiyonaga has effectively portrayed the difficulties of trying to strike the delicate balance between maintaining a semblance of normalcy for her family, while supporting her husband's career as an officer of the CIA. Having lived overseas, I can certainly appreciate Bina's problems of having to raise a family without the normality and convenience of life in the United States (not to mention having to raise 5 children in this environment!).

While the details surrounding much of what her husband accomplished during his tenure at the CIA will never be disclosed, Bina has done an excellent job of providing background to lend a certain aura to what her husband was all about. I was awestruck by the devotion she lavished on her husband during good times and in bad. Her faith and her family certainly allowed her to become the women she is today. And is portrayed in the book in a very effective manner.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Despite the minor redundancies throughout the narrative, I think this is a remarkable story...truly something in this book for everyone!

I really enjoyed this book, but its title is a bit misleading. It Should have been titled, "My Life, While Married to a CIA Spy." The thing which struck me the most was that I'd never make it as the wife of someone in the CIA. Maybe as a spy, but never as the wife. The wives had to sit at home whenever their husbands disappeared, with no advance warning, and perhaps for weeks on end without EVER picking up the telephone to call and enquire as to the husband, or when he might be back--or a mission could be compromised. One woman was in the last weeks of her pregnancy, and her husband had disappeared for several weeks. This finally did make that call, and the husband's mission was compromised. It was the husband's last mission. Later he left the agency, and also divorced his wife. Anyway, there were a lot of interesting anecdotes in the book. Bina tells as much as she can without compromising anyone who could now be hurt by the book.

I really loved this book! Bina Kiyonaga, and her story, are an inspiration. The book is an incredible account of her journey through life as a mother of five and as the wife of a complex - and compelling -- CIA operative. From country to country, she tells what it was like to live a lie for husband and country. And throughout all the trials and tribulations of the Cold War, they managed to show real humor and courage. There is also great poignancy in this love story, as she describes the true partnership she forged with her husband in his fight against cancer. This book is truly amazing and will appeal to readers of all ages. I highly recomend this book and have been sharing my excitement for it with everyone I know.

This is not just a story of an unusual career choice, it's a portrait of a marriage. Bina Kiyonaga doesn't hold back, she relates her life and marriage, warts and all.

As she notes, her husband Joe's life is a mystery, so he was perfect for this line of work. Supposedly he had a Japanese mother and father, but being over 6 feet tall, with a Eurasian aura, his actual parentage was an issue for him. Joe has more mysteries than Bina suggests. The poverty of his childhood on Molokai and Maui that she describes is belied by Joe's inheritance of three rental properties on Oahu (which his mother's tactic in re-assuming them was something to behold).

As Bina describes it, being a CIA wife is not easy. Husbands disappear for days or weeks without a word and can't be called. Wives must trust no one and keep all conversations guarded. They have to drop friendships that might threaten their husband's cover. Wives never see their husband's office. People can appear in their homes, which are often swept for bugs, without notice.

On top of the contraints that come with the career, Joe is not easy to live with. He can leave for days/weeks and neglect to leave any money (he controls all finances). They argue. He will not drive his pregnant cook to the hospital to have her baby. Joe's soft spot - who his father is - is never far away. He wants to control his children's growth through hormones so they will look more Japanese!

Joe is lucky to have Bina. She is a traditional wife, dedicated to the marriage and family. She is so traditional that she follows the Catholic Church's ban on birth control. She supports Joe's career all she can, although she is mostly in the dark as to what he is doing. She has a great sense of humor and adventure.

While the material is old (Joe died in 1977), it spans very active years for the CIA. While in this time the Agency did many things most Americans would never support, it seems like the people who did them, if they are like the Kiyonagas, wouldn't have either. This book is a fast, quick read and will hold your interest throughout.

I really enjoyed this book. For one thing, it really shows how far we have come in this country when it comes to issues of race. But what really amazed me was how the author could stand being so out of the loop when it came to what her husband was up to. It would drive me insane. No, there were no big secrets exposed, but that is a good thing.

I also enjoyed the stories of life overseas. This book is a fast easy, enjoyable read.

You're not going to learn much about the profession of "spying," but you are going to experience a wonderful true story of a family held together by the wife and backed up and nourished by the father. It is a little like a travelogue and a lot of how to have a successful marriage even while having problems and a husband who is away from home a lot. At the end, you should shed a tear or two if you have a heart within you!

Bina Kiyonaga successfully captures the joys and hardships of being a CIA wife. Since she is from our neighborhood, I was delighted to read about my former grade school and local haunts. Her stories about travel to Japan, South America, etc., with all her kids in tow were inspirational. She expresses the heroism of her entire family when her husband served the CIA. And it is not without levity. I was also intrigued by the amount of racism against the Japanese not only in the U.S. during the war, but abroad as well. Kiyonaga is a fine writer- I can hear her voice in this book.

What unexpected things can follow when two people fall in love! That is clearly the dominant theme of this uplifting story of being a successful spy's wife. Readers will feel rewarded by knowing the Kiyonaga family and their dedicated service to the United States.

Movies, television, and "serious" books about the CIA always leave the reader with a sense of glamorized unreality. People in the CIA must have families, need to go to school plays, get the laundry done, and have bad hair days. What is the full picture? This book goes a long way toward filling in that gap in our understanding by describing the world of being a CIA spouse, kept strictly apart from all of the secrets. Despite that, her husband shares many details that he wants revealed on his death bed, and those are included here as well. Although probably not intended as public relations for the CIA, the image portrayed here is much more positive than I have seen in other books.

But the main attraction here is the story of how two strong people come to grow closer and to accommodate each other over 29 years of a challenging marriage. Ms. Kiyonaga is candid about the issues that they faced, but her optimism shines through to make us all feel glad we, too, are human and can enjoy love.

The couple met while they were both students, long before the CIA beckoned to Mr. Kiyonaga. For the times (the late 1940's), they were an unusual pair. She came from an Irish-American family in Maryland, while he came from a Japanese-American family in Hawaii (the isolated island of Molokai). Over the years, they faced many challenges because of how people reacted to Mr. Kiyonaga as someone of Japanese ancestry. The Kiyonagas persevered and overcame these obstacles. These challenges were small, however, compared to the cultural issues separating Ms. Kiyonaga and her mother-in-law. Those, too, were eventually healed.

Even greater issues arose because of Mr. Kiyonaga's lingering discomfort about why he was so tall for someone with Japanese parents. Could it be that his biological father was not the father he had known?

The CIA is also a large hurdle for a family. To be a CIA wife was tough. "We lied about our husband's jobs, stalled inquisitive policemen, befriended ministers' wives, kept our eyes open at parties . . . and worried . . . ." Another challenge came from knowing that your husband would be gone unexpectedly, and that there would be plenty of opportunties for dalliances. "A CIA wife has to be trusting; either that or go crazy." Even your children don't quite know what's going on until they are older. "The CIA family is unique. They live a lie but . . . they believe in God and country and lie bravely."

The stories about life in the different postings are very unexpected and rewarding. You will learn many new aspects about post-war Japan, Brazil, El Salvador, and Panama during key moments in each country's history. The Kiyonagas came in frequent contact with important figures from Lyndon Johnson to Manuel Noriega, and from Helen Hayes to Helen Keller. You will see the world differently as a result of this first-person account.

Ms. Kiyonaga is a woman with great faith in God, and her observance of that faith will be heartening to those who are close to God or are interested in being close.

Ultimately, your faith in the fundamental goodness of human beings will be encouraged by this story.

After you have finished enjoying the book, please consider how many times the Kiyonagas were not treated well as newcomers. I suggest you look around for newcomers in your community and neighborhood whom you can befriend. As you do, recall how much such kindness and consideration meant to the Kiyonagas.

May all your secrets be ones you can be proud of!

I found this to be a wonderful book. Bina Kiyonaga weaves a remarkable story of intrique, patriotism, family, faith and love. "My Spy" made me laugh,it made me cry;it made me chortle, it made me sigh.

Kiyonaga beguiles you. She carries you along on the poignant, exciting and wickedly humorous ride of her life. I hated to have this book end.