My Twice-Lived Life: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Donald M. Murray (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 29, 2001

In an extraordinary memoir that skillfully negotiates between the fierce candor of a war veteran and the quiet sensibility of an artist, Pulitzer Prize-winning Boston Globe columnist Donald Murray dives head first into aging, a subject that is often only whispered about, stereotyped or, even worse, ignored. Turning his penetrating journalist’s eye for observance and revelation onto his own life, Murray ventures back through his seventy-plus years with an unsparing honesty and clarity that age has afforded him.

Born to God-fearing Scottish parents, Murray grew up with little more than a handshake from his mother and a solidly constructed lack of confidence in his abilities and intellect. A sickly child with no siblings, he had only solitude to grow on–a lonely meal, but one that fed his imagination and his talent for sketching out the subtleties of life that have made his columns so beloved.

From his struggles to put himself through college and his vivid experiences as a paratrooper in World War II, to his shaky acceptance of himself as a writer and his survival of immense personal tragedy, Murray addresses issues and emotions that society has long deemed taboo for men of his era: feelings of inadequacy, grief, family dysfunction, and most importantly, the indignities of age. But as he courageously sheds light on the difficult aspects of growing old, he discovers that there is more joy abundant in it than he ever imagined.

Whether he is relaying a war story or his poignant ritual of listening for his wife’s breath each morning, Murray never shies away from a truth–no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Propelled forward by the love of his work, a quiet devotion to his family, and an unceasing commitment to understanding his place in the world, he is an elegant reminder that the drive to live fully does not end at retirement. In his hands, aging is adventurous terrain, full of possibilities and unprecedented insight–a time that we spend much of our life fearing but, when reached, bestows upon us unexpected gifts.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"In my seventies, I have discovered I am not who I thought I was--and never have been," writes Boston Globe columnist Donald Murray. Murray retired from his university teaching job at 62 and had a heart attack a few months later. This experience and the years of aging that followed led him to contemplate his "lives" by writing this memoir in his '70s. The title refers to the notion that a writer lives life twice: once in the moment, and again in "the greater reality of reflection afterwards."

Murray shares snippets of memories. As a child, he suffered beatings from his father (a leather shaving strap), his mother (a bone hairbrush, wet so it would hurt more), and the school bully (fists). He recounts how he found solace in books, notebooks, and make-believe siblings.

Throughout the book, we get glimpses of his life and the meanings or lessons he learned. His experience as an "animal of war"--a paratrooper and military policeman in World War II--taught him that "few of us who fought are ever discharged from our wars." He refers to the death of his 20-year-old daughter several times, and finally tells the whole story with as much pain as if it happened yesterday. He tells fond stories about his wife, Minnie Mae, only revealing toward the end the day-to-day reality of caring for a wife with Parkinson's. "We don't grow older in an even march but in sudden lurches," writes Murray. He doesn't fear his own death, but fears indignity and dependence.

My Twice-Lived Life does more than let us tiptoe into the private life and thoughts of an excellent writer--it beckons us to examine our own. --Joan Price

From Publishers Weekly

A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, the prolific Murray (A Writer Teaches Writing) has, since 1987, written over 650 installments of "Over 60," a weekly Boston Globe column. Now 75, he has reworked his Globe columns into a remarkable autobiography of aging: "Now, rushing forward but living backwards in the evening of my life, I appreciate the texture of my life, the wonder of the ordinary as never before." He begins by describing his heart attack, at age 62, during a Florida business trip. Returning to Durham, N.H., after surgery, he pondered retirement but instead started to write, adhering to the ancient Roman advice he had followed for many years "nulla dies sine linea, not a day without a line." In the early chapters, he contrasts his lonely childhood and other events in his life with "the journey of aging, a rafting trip down a river I thought familiar but that became more unfamiliar and faster the further I traveled." He recalls his first night jump as a paratrooper, winning a Pulitzer Prize at the Boston Herald when he was 29, fatherhood, fears, family tragedies, depressions, deaths and near-deaths. War stories from "the surreal confusion of battle" in WWII trigger associations with violent memories of civilian life. Meanwhile, health problems mount his own and those of his second wife, Minnie Mae; "eventually," he acknowledges, "old age becomes a grim business." And yet, "as the horizons grow closer," he concludes, "I will always have narrative as my companion." So will the fortunate reader of this poetic and magical memoir. Agent, Michael Rosenberg. (June) Forecast: Murray's Boston Globe columns have won him fans who will buy this book but its appeal is potentially much greater. Advertising in the New York Times Book Review, as well as New England bookstore appearances, should help Murray find and expand his readership.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Edition edition (May 29, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345436903
• ISBN-13: 978-0345436900
• Product Dimensions: 7.5 x 4.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,296,329 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Courage and Clarity of a Twice-Lived Life, June 5, 2001

By 

Tom Romano (Oxford, OH United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Twice-Lived Life: A Memoir (Hardcover)

My Twice-Lived Life has long been in the making. Murray's first idea was to publish a collection of his Boston Globe columns that dealt with aging, the Depression, and World War II. His editor convinced him to look at the subject matter as a memoir, whole and of itself. Good idea.

I've read most of Murray's Boston Globe columns. It is often amazing what he does with these 800 word personal essays. But the memoir gives him more room to explore and develop his subject matter.

We're used to Murray writing about writing. There is a little of that woven throughout the chapters in My Twice-Lived Life. But writing isn't his primary topic here. He writes about the stuff of his life---his childhood, his parents, and World War II, in which he was a paratrooper.

One chapter is titled "The Not-So-Good-Old School Days." I'll use this chapter with my students at Miami University who are studying to be English teachers. In direct opposition to those who deify some past golden time of schooling, Don recounts his own school days and deromantizes that myth. He speaks of teachers today, how they seek further learning in summer programs and professional development, and he writes about how he came to teaching writing.

All those chapters were good reading, but the really courageous chapters are about aging. His wife, Minnie Mae, has had serious medical problems with Parkinson's, diabetes, and breast cancer. Don writes about these times of increasing care-taking clearly, compassionately, and unsentimentally.

In "Fatherhood" he ends the chapter by focusing on the death of his 20 year old daughter of Reyes' Syndrome in the late 1970s. Many of us know bits of this story, because those bits have worked themselves into Don's textbooks and columns, but here we get the most complete rendering and sense-making of that story, including one poem he wrote of Lee's passing.

In the last two chapters Don writes about the extended dying of a neighbor, what he learned as nurses and one doctor tended to her and touched her and helped her to let go. I wished I'd had this book to read two years ago during the time my mother slipped away gradually and inexorably.

A friend of mine in Utah used to say of such writing, "That's it. Write about the tough stuff."

Don Murray does that in My Twice-Lived Life. Reading it made me want to live life well, fully attuned to my senses, aware of the compassionate stories around me, learning how I might approach the coming years with courage and caring and humor.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A superb columnist looks at life and at looking at life, June 8, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: My Twice-Lived Life: A Memoir (Hardcover)

I got to know Donald Murray's writing while living in Massachusetts in the mid-90s. Ever since, I've read his Boston Globe column online, and almost always forward it to people I know, from my teenage son to my father in his 80s. I keep hoping the columns will be collected in a book. In the meantime, there's this wonderful memoir. There is more wisdom in a Donald Murray column than in most of the rest of the paper put together, but it's not WISDOM, delivered from on high and meant to make you feel inadequate. He's had a mixed life - a ghastly childhood, wartime service, professional failure and success, profound grief, enduring friendships, a satisfying marriage - but the book is not just a collection of "and then I" passages. Murray conveys so well how the past is always present, how it can be seen more clearly from the distance that decades provide, and how old age is enriched by that clarity, even as one deals with the inevitable losses and physical decline. His style is conversational-seeming, but without the extraneous matter true conversation always has. The passages about being bullied in boyhood are heartbreaking because there is no anger in his account. He doesn't need to express it; the reader will be furious on his behalf. Murray is a teacher of writing, and as a writer, I find his books on the subject are well worth reading (wish I could have studied with him). Readers will learn a great deal about good writing from "My Twice-Lived Life," as well as a great deal about living.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Move over Maury......, July 28, 2001

By 

James (Memphis TN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My Twice-Lived Life: A Memoir (Hardcover)

Look out Mitch.....you and Tuesdays with Maury are about to be replaced. Dr. Murray delivers his book even better than he did in the classroom. As a former student of his....this book made me laugh....brought a tear to my ear and a lump to my throat. First he taught me to write. Now he teaches me about life as we all face growing older. Thank you for a great read!!