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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting personal perspective
This is a most interesting, personal account of "how", "what", and some "why" a person has become what he is in the moment. The perspective is intensely genuine, as much as the author is capable. I found this a fascinating view into the life of a physical, although necessarily remote, personality and his attempts to deal with his own evolution. It seems that many of the...
Published on September 7, 2006 by tod keeney

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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not What Was Expected
Here was an opportunity for a clearly-bright gay porn star to provide some insight into what makes him tick. I was hoping for autobiography but also self-revelation. Why did I go into this line of work? What keeps me doing it? What trade-offs are there? But instead this is a relatively monotonous stream-of-consciousness "diary" with little introspection. It's...
Published on May 31, 2006 by G. E. Gerst


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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not What Was Expected, May 31, 2006
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Here was an opportunity for a clearly-bright gay porn star to provide some insight into what makes him tick. I was hoping for autobiography but also self-revelation. Why did I go into this line of work? What keeps me doing it? What trade-offs are there? But instead this is a relatively monotonous stream-of-consciousness "diary" with little introspection. It's reporting, not analysis. A few interesting moments but mostly a disappointment. I was hoping to find brains behind the brawn. Not so much.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars The banality of pornography, May 26, 2006
By 
Parisonn of Atlantis (Minneapolis, Minnesota) - See all my reviews
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Though labeled by some as an autobiography, "My Undoing" is more a journal of a year or so in Aiden Shaw's life both before and after a roadside accident which left him partially paralyzed. Much of this journal consists of accounts of which drugs Aiden did in which nightclub in the company of which people. It quickly becomes repetitious and a but dull. Perhaps the private life of a porn star is better left to the imagination because in this account, Aiden's life seems shallow and limited.
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19 of 23 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Lavern, October 6, 2007
By 
Kenneth L. Bunch (san francisco, california) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Because this book is a personal memoir, I will review it in a "personal" way.
I am "Lavern" in this memoir. Lavern is my middle name. I was a friend of Aiden Shaw's (real name Aiden Brady) for 7 years and experienced most of the events in this book. Aiden is an existential amoral nihilistic hedonist. "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" carries no meaning to him. Self-centered narcissism is the rule of the day. I have never met someone with such incredible amounts of true charisma. It is other-worldly, probably developed in a previous life. His "accident" was not an accident at all but intentional, due to his frustrating struggle with his impossible idealistic fantasy of "love" and his inability to acheive the idealism. His refusal to "learn" anything from his experiences and manifest change is a self-serving exercise for his hedonism. This book is a replay of his first book "Brutal" (fantastic!) and not written nearly as well. There are glimmers of his unique insight from "Brutal". Aiden IS incredibly observant of others and equally judgemental. His roomate in 1994 once told me that Aiden even observed how he turned a doorknob. His phenomenal construction of "Aiden Shaw", having just previously been a "tranny" ( as Aiden confided) is a masterful acheivement. Maybe he has realized a more real idea of what constitutes a love relationship, specifically with David Michael, aka David Logan ( his longtime "baby" as he always called him).
I observed and tolerated Aiden's tragic abusive treatment of others for a long time because I was learning so much I could apply to my own life in a positive way. When his abusive behaviour turned on me, I set out to teach him a lessen, instead of crawling away and licking my wounds like hundreds of others, letting him get away with it yet one more time. Plus, I was sure it would give him plenty of juicy matterial for his next book, (prediction fullfilled).
In the end, Aiden writes non-fiction far better than the boring "novels" he aspired to pen.
Lavern, San Francisco. (ps) I don't look like ANYTHING he described.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Mr. Sad, November 27, 2006
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
I couldn't put this book down, because I was anticipating the turning point, where Mr. Shaw realized that his life of sex and party drugs was ruining his life. Shockingly, that time never arrived. Shaw is against taking a prescribed anti-depressant because it interferes with his sexual potency, but he has not hesitation taking cocaine, crystal meth, and LSD on a regular basis, which can't help his HIV status too much. He does a lot of crying and very little introspection. There are numerous relationships with toxic people, most of whom he thinks are his friends.

I am curious as to what the author thinks his "undoing" really is. In my opinion, his undoing is the fact that he is totally unable to realize how dysfunctional his life is and how much he needs to change it.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Hard to believe sex and drugs could be so boring, December 18, 2008
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Dull autobiographical story by gay porn star Aiden Shaw. It chronicles him meeting and falling in love with various men, him playing with his band, him doing drugs nonstop etc etc. The book is well-written and, at first, it's interesting but it quickly become repetitious and dull. It's the same thing again and again and AGAIN! Reading on and on about a bunch of people doing drugs nonstop and/or having sex quickly gets tiresome. None of the characters are even remotely likable and Shaw writes about sex in such an off-hand manner that it's not exciting at all. Also there's no real point to this. It ends abruptly with no point or reason given. Why did we read for over 300 pages about a bunch of self-destructive jerks? The one halfway good section comes in the middle when the author gets into a car accident. It's hard to sympathise with him however because he was on drugs when it happened. Boring and pointless.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Meandering, but not completely without merit, December 6, 2006
By 
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This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
I like Aiden Shaw, and I was excited when I saw this book advertised on Amazon. Reading this memoir was a disappointment, though. Shaw needed a lot more editorial assistance than he got in constructing this book. It is meandering,overall; Shaw wastes a lot of writing on superfluous details. But once in awhile, you get a glimpse of Shaw's writing potential in a surprisingly moving detail or passage.

The subject matter covers Shaw's life immediately prior to his getting hit by a car and his subsequent recovery. He evades the bigger questions about the widespread use of drugs and unprotected sex among gay men. It is a given in Shaw's world that drugs are widely used and unprotected sex sometimes results in HIV infection, ho hum. I found myself wanting to shake him and say, "But what does it all mean? You must know..."

It is worth reading, if just to see a writer in the process of becoming. Slick it is not, surprisingly, despite Shaw's background in porno and prostitution. Shaw emerges in the book as a likable guy.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting personal perspective, September 7, 2006
By 
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
This is a most interesting, personal account of "how", "what", and some "why" a person has become what he is in the moment. The perspective is intensely genuine, as much as the author is capable. I found this a fascinating view into the life of a physical, although necessarily remote, personality and his attempts to deal with his own evolution. It seems that many of the other reviews(printed here) have approached the writing from their OWN perspective. I do not feel that that is valid and appreciate Mr. Shaw's revelations and insight into a whole world that is both limited and international. How delightful to find that these fantasy figures are also real people and have distinct and impressive talents beyond what most perceive as their "genre". Thank you Mr. Shaw.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars are memoirs allowed to be boring?, October 29, 2007
By 
LARRY (Capitol Heights, MD) - See all my reviews
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Ok, I'm not one of those people who go crazy or rave about a gay porn star, especially if they're well-endowed. Ask me who is Tom Chase or Chad Hunt and I'll be blinking my clueless eyes.

Anyways, what led me to buy this memoir of Aidan Shaw and waste my time, I have no idea and I don't think I'll get those wasted hours back. I think I got this book because I had read Shaw's books before. So, I thought that his memoir would be interesting.

You know how some people complain how some books contained expletives in every other words? Well, in Shaw's memoir, every other word was a name of a drug or a sex act. In other words, boring!

The only good part about this book (and I'm being nice) was his experience in the hospital/rehab after he was ran over by a car which left him semi-paralyzed. How he positioned himself prior to the runover...that's another story for readers and fans to debate.

Otherwise, unless you truly enjoy knowing one's active drug usage and frequent sex escapades, this is just one redundant memoir. I mean, really! He flies back and forth from England to the United States for more drugs and more sex. If porn stars are like Shaw, then life as a porn star is one sad life.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Shallow and clueless, September 15, 2006
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
Presumably this was written because Mr. Shaw needed money. If he actually intended to share something with a reader - a not unjustifiable expectation on the part of a prospective reader - he failed incredibly well. The title leads one to think that love may actually be part of what is presented and hopefully some insight into that elusive and very pervasive human emotion. However, Mr. Shaw gives the reader neither insight, nor even the occasionally well written sentence. At best this reads like the narcissistic memoir of an inflatable doll. Scratch beneath the handsome picture of Mr. Shaw on the cover and you'll find that there is no there there, as Gertrude Stein once said. And that's the kindest thing that can be said on the basis of what's presented as his life in this book. I would not recommend it to anyone.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars My Poor Grass..., December 4, 2009
By 
Kevin J. Olomon "kjopolarbear" (rural illinois and remote alaska) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Paperback)
A bigger mistake than the writing of this book was my reading it. I can hardly believe I let my grass go uncut just to make it thru each chapter. If you aren't looking for heroes- or even anyone to like or admire- then this book might serve some need you have. As it turned out- it served no need for me.
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My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution
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