Customer Reviews

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Cave Dwellers [VHS]

5 star:		(41)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

MY MY MY! This is one of the best MST3K episodes I have ever seen! From the bad acting, the plot that Tolken couldn't follow, and the first major plot point occuring 35 minutes into the movie, this piece of trash tops the list of bad movies! This movie abounds with bad puppetrs (a veluer snake and a spider with fishing lines), a hubcap called a sheild, and Ator (our "Dude looks like a lady" hero) putting together a hanglider in about 5 minutes (killed a deer, tanned the hide, made an anadized aluminum pole, welded, etc...) and flying it over a large city (modern), not to mention the bombs he puts together in mid air. Let me tell you, if that doesn't make you wretch watch Crow's analyzation of the continuity problems at the end! All in all, buy this and you won't be dissappointed! And remember, Stay Frosty!

For me this is the funnies Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. Cave Dwellers is a really bad Conan clone, complete with giant puppet spiders and snakes and hubcap breastplates. The acting is so terrible, the plot doesn't make any sense, and the Cave Dwellers of the title are a very minor subplot. It's a real mess that gives the critics lots to make fun of. The characters are just classic. The main hero is just shouting out "No!" all the time. The main villian has a really special mustache that will have you laughing out loud. One scholar has the habit of looking straight into the camera when he gives his lines.

Lots of ridiculous things happen. At one point, the hero is fighting invisible creatures. I guess they couldn't afford to hire extras for the scene. At another point, the hero is flying a hang glider. Never mind that he wasn't carrying it, and that he didn't have any tools to make it with in the few seconds it took to cut to him flying it, but it just doesn't belong in this movie. It doesn't make any sense, which is why it's perfect for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The jokes are right on target. I give this my highest recommendation. I've watched it so many times, and I think you will too.

Cave Dwellers is my all-time favorite episode, even though it's hosted by Joel and I tend to prefer Mike-era episodes. This movie is just flat-out hilarious, and it's one of the worst films ever made - I know they say that about all of them but it's really true. As they say in the film, "Tolkein couldn't follow this plot!" You'll meet Ator (played by a mostly-nude Miles Davis with fluffy boots and a scrunchie in his flowing locks) and his sidekick Dong (or is it Wong? No one is ever sure) as they go on a quest to do...something...yeah, the plot is pretty much the most complicated piece of crap in movie history. But the riffing is great and you'll laugh even after viewing it multiple times. Look forward also to Joel and the bots' recreating the opening credits...that's funny. :)

MST3K's third season was from end to end an almost unbroken string of great performances -- some of the Brains' best and most consistent work ever. Show 301, 'Cave Dwellers,' was the leadoff hitter. All MSTies need this episode on the video shelf.

'Cave Dwellers' is a pseudo-caveman, vaguely Gor-like, Conan the Somewhat Unpolished, Ridley Scott on a really, really, bad day kind of flick. Hubcaps double for armored breastplates. Our Hero Ator, played by the incomparable Miles O'Keefe, throws together some sticks and fur and hang-glides into the enemy castle. And continuity? As Crow shows us in the final host segment, continuity apparently wasn't a concern here.

Track down as much of Season Three as you can get your hands on. Start here and work your way through. It's all worth it.

Yes, it's another classic! 'Cave Dwellers' features great music "by the Super Mario Bros." and stars such famous actors as Miles O'Keefe ("just how much Keefe is in this movie?"). If you love swords that look like giant letter openers and a storyline fit for a gameboy game, you'll love 'Cave Dwellers'.

Heh heh. Just kidding. This is a great MST3K classic. The movie's horrible (the worse the movie, the better the MST3K episode), the bots and Joel's line of commentary is top notch, and...well...just get the movie!!!

Quote of the Film: "Hey, why don't you pick on someone your own appacity?"

Character of the movie: Ator, the hero. He's got "pecs like melons and knees of fringe". Played by Miles O'Keefe.

Get this movie along with my other favorite MST3K episodes: "Manos: Hands of Fate", "Mitchell", "Shorts II", and "The Gunslinger".

This MST3K gem takes on "Cave Dwellers", a badly dubbed Italian rip-off of Conan. It is one of the better MST episodes released on video so far. It "stars" gym-pumped Miles O'Kefee as Ator, the noble barbarian warrior with "pecs like melons and knees of fringe" and numerous Italian non-actors who look embarrassed to be there. Ator is also armed with a leather harness, big furry boots, a fluffy 80s haircut and a really small loincloth.

In an age that mixes stone-age cavemen with medieval European castles, a wise old man possesses the "Geometric Nucleus". This shiny cubic thingamajig has incredible powers and must not fall into the hands of the evil guy who approaches. You know he is incredibly evil because he is wearing a Cher wig, a glued on mustache and a big helmet shaped like a swan. The old man (who... delivers... all... his... lines... incredibly... slowly...) explains to his daughter Mila that Ator is their only hope. Cue long and silly flashback that covers the previous movie, Ator the Fighting Eagle. The flashback includes lines like "After killing the spider-god, Ator captured the glistening charm-shield of Murdor". (Joel: "And his secret decoder ring!" Crow: "This must be Ator's home movies"). Old man tells his daughter to "run to the end of the world....where nature itself....seems to decline to follow you further...." (Tom: "Canada?") and fetch Ator. Mila covers most of the earth in about 10 minutes; then she gets shot in the chest with an arrow. This wound causes her to LIMP the rest of the way to a cave, where Ator and his mysterious Asian sidekick Thong heal her by wrapping her head in banana leaves as a huge slobbering dog in the background looks on. (Crow: "Well, now it's all up to the dog... No Marmaduke! Don't use the triple overhand stitch! Bad dog!")

The three travel back to the old man, having lots of generic fantasy-movie encounters on the way, including invisible enemies (you know they are there because the actors throw themselves to the ground pretending to get hit), cannibalistic cave dwellers, and a gang of fearsome samurai-imitators who would probably rather be in a Kurosawa film. A slightly longer sub-plot involves freeing a village from a human-sacrificing, snake-god worshipping cult. In the hilarious sacrifice scene a couple of lazy and innocent snakes are made "scary" by adding lots of plaster skulls on the floor and growling noises on the soundtrack. Ator gets to wrestle a big cuddly snake-puppet in semi-darkness. (Joe:"It's not slimy at all." Crow:"That's because it's made of velour": Tom: "Just cut the wires Ator!")

When they finally arrive at their destination, Thong and Mila enter the castle through a secret tunnel (which is very un-secret and well-lit for their convenience). Meanwhile, Ator creates an unnecessary distraction by building a modern hang-glider out of some twigs in about 30 seconds and using it to drop flash powder bombs on the enemy. The end fight against evil guy is just as goofy of course. By the way, this "caveman learns aerodynamics in seconds" plot device would later be reused with equal logic and success by L. Ron Hubbard and John Travolta in their Scientology crap-feast Battlefield Earth. Check out how many mention MST3K in the BE reviews!

The host segments are great too and include a lesson on how to make bad sound effects on a limited budget, and how to make cheap props look seem more impressive. Instead of calling the thing the daughter is wearing on her chest a hubcap (and it clearly is a hubcap), you call it something like "the golden maiden shield of Zondar". Best of all is the segment where they pause the film to show us continuity problems like "villagers" wearing sunglasses, and tire tracks or modern cities being glimpsed in the background. Brilliant episode.

(One reviewer asked about the K in MST3K. In the metric system, K stands for kilo, i.e. thousand)

MST3K is at it's best when the movie they're ripping is at it's worst, and believe me, "Cave Dwellers" has no redeeming value whatsoever. Set during a strange period of history in which people lived in caves and huts, yet invented gunpowder, hang gliders, and nuclear warheads, Old Smart Guy (who makes William Shatner's acting look Shakespearean) invents a thingamajiggy that, in the wrong hands, can be a terrible weapon. Speaking of the wrong hands, here he comes now with a long black mustache and a helmet that resembles a turkey! Luckily the daughter escapes and runs to the ends of the earth (which don't seem to be that far away as she gets there within a day) to find the warrior Ator. A long, confusing flashback lets us know Ator is from a previous movie (so why wasn't it MST3K'd?), so be warned people, there's a prequel out there somewhere. Ator, along with his silent sidekick Thong, accompany the daughter back to rescue her father, getting sidetracked here and there along the way. One of those sidetracks involves said Cave Dwellers of the title, but that segment only lasts about 10 minutes. The acting is wooden, the writing is pathetic, the effects are cheap, and the opening and closing credits use scenes from an entirely different movie which looked much more interesting than the one Joel and the Bots have just endured. If you enjoy this kind of pain, pray Rhino releases "Space Mutiny," another instant classic.

Good episode, bad movie. I THINK that this is one of the sequels to Ator - Fighting Eagle, I can't be sure because I think I forgot that movie as a defensive mechanism. Some great lines in this one...heck, even the box made me laugh. Not the best episode by any means, but still a real cracker. Recommended.

It seems that some films were just made to be torn into by the citizens of the Satellite of Love. CAVE DWELLERS is beyond a doubt one of them. Basically, a poor man's Conan the Barbarian, CAVE DWELLERS has all the elements necessary for an MST3K roasting: bad acting, no editing, horrible pacing, cheap FX, and, above all, poor continuity directing which the crew aim in on at the end. There are fewer poorly made films, and fewer funnier episodes of MST3K!

I had never seen this episode before. I rented it from a Hollywood Video because I had an evening alone and it was the only new episode on video that was available to me.

Luckily, I was pleasantly entertained.

The Cave Dwellers of the title are only about five minutes of the film, so don't expect a cave man or cave enthralled movie. I could go into detail about how bad this movie is, but hey why bother? Its a bad movie, end of story.

There are some lines in here that are classic MST3K. In the tradition of the other MST3K reviewers...lemme post some.

"We mustn't lose heart!"
Crow: "Because some guy will eat it."

Old Man: "Will you leave our people alone and cease interrupting our lives?"
*Bandit kills the old man*
Tom Servo: "Um...I think that's a no."

And if you like spotting bloopers, you'll like this episode. The cast actually goes into detail about the obvious bloopers in the movie:

- A guy wearing sunglasses in the pillaging scene.
- A modern city underneath the hero as he glides through the air.
- Tire tracks in the background as the hero rides off on horseback.

So a good watch. Decent enough episode to watch with friends.