Customer Reviews

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Angels Revenge [VHS]

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is one of the funniest MST3K episodes of all time. I hardly even know where to begin on this one. Here's the background: a teacher is so disgusted with bad guys selling drugs to kids that she decides to blow up the drug lab outside of town (where she seems to think all of the world's drugs are centrally processed). She recruits a supposedly famous singer best known for shining, shining, shining, shining, shining her love, then shining it some more; a stunt woman; a cop; a model; and a female martial arts expert to help her carry out the job. It's a whole lot like Charlie's Angels, only these angels are much less attractive and more annoying.

The most amazing thing about Angels Revenge is the cast. Never have so many familiar names humiliated themselves so thoroughly in the same film. First we have Arthur Godfrey playing himself; watching him engage in excited antics at a Vegas concert is pretty pitiful, really. Then we have Alan Hale (aka Skipper) who plays--once she finally stops shining her love--our singer's manager; the Skipper has just one little scene and luckily escapes without too much damage. The same cannot be said for his fellow castaway Jim Backus. Backus plays the incompetent leader of a ragtag band of right-wing revolutionaries calling themselves the American Right; his performance is truly painful to watch--really; I'm not just saying it for effect. Then we have Pat Buttram, Mr. Haney from Green Acres, selling used cars--his scene can be watched without too much discomfort. Another notable player is Peter Lawford; I didn't like the guy in his prime, and I certainly don't like to see him going around without a shirt on in his later years. Lawford apparently survived this acting ordeal by staying completely drunk throughout shooting, slurring his lines rather obviously. Rounding out the list of notable actors is Jack Palance, who plays the middleman in between the pushers on the streets and Mr. Big; he's actually not half bad, but the movie is so awful it's hard to notice. Perhaps my favorite thing is Crow's impersonation of Palance singing the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song each time we see Palance driving a car.

Mike and the Bots had me laughing from start to finish on this one. Crow is especially biting in his comments, referring to the film as The T&A Team. When we watch a woman climb a ladder, he complains that the movie is giving away the plot, then he quickly gives in and announces his intention to just look at the breasts--that's really what this movie is about, when you get right down to it. The sexploitation factor here exceeds even the blaxploitation factor to be found in the script for Crow's new film project titled Chocolate Jones and the Temple of Funk.

Thrill to the intense drama of the protagonist searching frantically for the very important map she keeps in a safe place in her pocketbook; she's knows it's in there; oooh; it's very important; ooooooh; she knows she put it in there; oooooooh; there it is. Watch thrusting women kidnap, torture, and kill men without losing their happy-go-lucky demeanors or even breaking a nail. Watch manly men like Jack Palance stand around immobile so that a group of naturally endowed women can easily subdue them. Watch a school teacher share moments of torture treatment with one of her young students while another woman teaches the youngster how to shoot a gun. Yes, Angels Revenge is all of this and more. Oddly, I have to admit that I rather liked the movie itself; sure it's incredibly silly, shallow, degrading, and sometimes downright painful to watch, but at least the story keeps moving along at a good pace from start to finish, unlike many of the awful movies taken from the vaults of Deep Thirteen. This movie actually makes fun of itself; when you add in Mike, Tom, and Crow performing at the top of their game, you get 90 minutes of utter hilarity. You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll ask why this awful movie was ever made--then you'll look up and remember 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, even 12 reasons..

This made-for-TV-movie, Charlie's-Angels-parody, series pilot, contractual obligation tax write-off, call it what you will unleashes the full force of the '70s on Mike and the 'bots. The plot ostensibly centers around a schoolteacher who recruits several women to attack Drug Lord Peter Lawford (in a quaalude and alcohol inspired performance) and his right-hand man Jack Palance. Along the way a few washed-up TV "stars" are thrown in: Alan "Dhoo" Hale Jr as a manager ("what could you possibly need from an Alan Hale Jr" is Mike's comment), Pat Butrum as his annoying Green Acres character selling vans (hey it IS the '70s), and the one true talent Jim Backus as a militia commander (The MST3K crew are actually sympathetic to Backus'. There's plenty of nauseating performances left here to riff on.) Ostensibly that's the plot: the REAL plot is to have seven braless women run around as much as possible in various jumpsuits and bikinis. Mike's comment, "This movie offends one cell animals" sums it up nicely. The '70s beg to be riffed, and the timeframe combined with an INCREDIBLY badly-acted movie make for one of the best MST3ks done during Mike Nelson's reign. If you lived through the 70s, like I did, the hair and clothes will start you laughing. If you didn't, well, yes people really did dress like that-unselfconsciously. It's a hoot, pick it up. NB: At least one of the actresses managed to salvage her career after this disaster Lieu Chinh-"she's the Asian one in our group" later appeared in the Joy-Luck Club.

Well people this is another great classic episode of MST3K. Mike summed up this movie best when he said "This movie is an insult even to one-celled animals". In this episode (#622) we see Mike & the bots watch Angels Revenge. The plot of this is that a teacher decides to take out a drug lord's operations. This movie is like a bad 90 minute episode of Charlie's Angels. Mike & the bots make some great riffs in this episode, and the movie is so bad that it's fun to watch. It's just great! If you don't have this yet I suggest you get this NOW! I think you'll like it VERY much!

This is an hilarious MST3K episode featuring an absolutely ludicrous movie that uses a serious premise as an excuse to make a "jiggle-flick". The results are, as you might expect, atrocious, but hilariously atrocious when Mike and his robot pals get through with it. The less said about Palance and Bacchus being in this, the better. This movie demands to be featured in Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension, where the aforementioned actors are sure to get Embarrassed Actor Awards.

Sort of a cheapie Charlie's Angels with slightly downsized babes? Yeah, that's it. ANGELS ranks as a very good episode. But according to Mike, Angels Revenge is simply "the longest flashback ever". For babe power I put it slightly below season 10's HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (Not yet available on video). There's some truly classic riffs which may force you to stop the tape just to laugh at length. There's one point where I thought to myself how Jim Backus looked like a walking corpse. Shortly after this Crow says: "This is the first movie Jim Backus did...after he died." That was a tape-stopper for me!

Aaron Spelling on a bad day? Yep, that's Angels Revenge!

The MST3K gang has a field day with this buried treasure of a movie. The titular angels aren't famous, but the movie "Angels Revenge" has more stars in it than the big dipper! Arthur Godfrey plays himself, lusting after the blonde angel who is a disco singer in Vegas. Arthur goes backstage after her act and assures her that she'll go on to be a superstar in show business. With the hot disco song "Shine Your Love" and Alan Hale, Jr. (the Skipper on Gilligan's Island) as her manager, how can she miss? Somehow, she does! Pat Buttram (Mr. Haney from Green Acres) makes a cameo appearance later as a fast talking car salesman who sells the angels a van. He doesn't look like he's wearing makeup, he looks like he's embalmed! However, the One Foot In The Grave Award goes to Jim Backus (Mr. Howell on Gilligan's Island). He plays the leader of a heavily armed militia group. Jim's big scene is when the Asian angel karate chops him while he's holding a big pot of spaghetti. He ends up wearing most of the spaghetti on his head. The look on his face inspires pity, not laughter. Peter Lawford plays the head druglord who constantly talks of how control is the key to his power. Unfortunately, he is totally out of control. He's so wasted that he doesn't speak his lines, he slurs them! Jack Palance acts as his right hand man. My favorite scene with him involves a local drug pusher who Jack suspects has ripped him off. "I just want to talk to you" he keeps shouting, chasing after him with a gun in his hand. They run down alleys and up to a rooftop. The poor pusher is so scared he keeps backing away from Jack until he falls off the roof. Jack Palance was the only star to survive this movie and go on to have a career. All the others watched this film and died of embarrassment!

One of the entertaining sub-genres of movies Joel, Mike, and The Bots had to suffer through was the cheap knock-offs of better known (and just *better*) films. These include 'Time of the Apes,' 'Agent from H.A.R.M.,' neither of which have been released on video so far as I know, and this one, 'Angels' Revenge.' Part of the humor is the dawning realization that the makers of this epic really were shameless enough to attempt such an obvious rip-off of a hit TV series. Even the title doesn't have the decency to clothe itself in obscurity.

From the clothes to the music to the hair to, well, everything, this film is as Seventies as the orange shag rug in your parents' den. Watching M&TB deal with that is just part of the fun, while the Mads get into the spirit by dressing as their favorite Seventies relief pitchers.

I'm not sure why Rhino chose the episodes they did when deciding which MST titles to release on video, though I imagine copyright questions had a lot to do with it. I don't consider 'Angels' Revenge' one of the standout episodes of Season 6, let alone of the whole series. But MST3K was always so entertaining, even a run-of-the-mill ep like this one is well worth the investment.

Don't bother with Charlie's Angels for camp fun--go with the real thing. Like Mitchell, this is another great bad movie from the 70's. Stars at low points in their carreers, who couldn't get a gig on Love Boat at the time, wound up in this film. Definitely some of the best commentary found in any MST3K episode!

If I were to sum up "Angel's Revenge" in one word, that word would be "Biohazard." This movie is so unbelievably horrid that it might actually be dangerous. Few have seen this movie and lived to tell the tale. So I'm going to tell you what to expect, so that no one else suffers the way I did.

As far from artistic filmmaking as you can get without including Adam Sandler in the mix, the film is little more than an excuse to show scantily clad women flopping their you-know-what's around in an excessive and obviously painful manner. None of the seven female stars have any talent beyong striking poses and saying some of the worst dialogue this side of "Batman & Robin." Sound's bad? It gets worse. One of them actually gets on stage in Las Vegas and sings a song that threatens to make the viewer's head explode. It's called "Shine your love", and it consists entirely of dead-brain-walking up there singing "Shine your love" over and over and over and over for about six hours until you just want to put a shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger. You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I'll forever mourn the deaths of so many of my friends because of this movie. It's like surviving a war, only more likely to cause permanent psychological damage.

Now, those seven women have teamed up to destroy the drug cartel owned by many name actors, such as Peter Lawford (who gets drunker and drunker as the minutes tick by) and Jack Palance (who has appeared in a few other mst3k movies as well). Other stars that were tricked into making this fiasco are Jim Backus, Alan Hale Jr., Pat Buttram, and Arthur Godfrey, all of whom should be ashamed of themselves.

Naturally, Mike and the bots riff and rant like there's no tomorrow, asking the tough questions (who's not thrusting?) and tackling major political issues (we will, like, bury you). They break the hilarity meter time and time again, even in the host skits (especially when crow tries to organize a seventies blaxploitation flick). There's a lot of fun to be had on this tape; if you're a mistie like me, don't hesitate to buy it. Enjoy.

Jack Palance, the old guy from Ripley's Believe It Or Not and City Slickers, headlines an all star cast that includes Mr. Howell and the Skipper from Gilligan's Island and Mr. Haney from Green Acres in a non-stop action thrill ride! Well, maybe I'm overselling it a little. This absurd movie involves a bunch of women wearing oh so tight jumpsuits who get rid of all drugs forever by dropping a bomb down a chimney. The most rediculous aspect of this movie is the sound effects, which Servo suggests were provided by Hanna-Barbarra. Mike and the bots do a great job tearing into this one. I'm running, and running, and running, and running running running...