Customer Reviews

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Unearthly [VHS]

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

For what it's worth, this episode gets my nod as the quintessential "MST3K" episode. Aside from the feature presentation (more on that in a bit), this one boasts the two finest shorts ever featured on the show ("Posture Pals" and "Appreciating Our Parents"), indispensible time capsules of Eisenhower's America which, even without further commentary from Joel and company, would be sidesplittingly hilarious. Then there's the invention exchange: I don't think Dr. F was ever able to top himself after the madness of "Some Pills That Are Hard To Swallow," and the "Emilio Este-Pez" is certainly one of Joel's worthier efforts. But those are just appetizers to set you up for the succulent main course, a wonderfully Roger Corman-esque bomb with the priceless cast of John Carradine, Tor Johnson, and several anonymous, large-breasted female costars. Along the way we're treated to numerous Marx Brothers and "Fawlty Towers" references, Tom Servo's rendition of Tor Johnson doing Hamlet, and a tribute to BoweryBoyspeak. Add 'em all up, and you've got the perfect episode for introducing nonfans to the show. "Time for go to bed!"

Sure, The Unearthly is a bad movie, but I can't say I have ever noticed any gaps in the comedic antics of Joel and the Bots. To my mind, this is one of the better (but not most outstanding) MST3K episodes made available commercially. Heck, it's got Tor Johnson, which is more than a lot of bad movies can say. Tor even gets a few lines here, including the eminently quotable "Time for go to bed." Then there's John Carradine, a decent actor who looks creepy enough to adequately fill the shoes of the overzealous yet typical mad scientist intent on achieving human immortality. The doctor's technique does have its risks, though; while it seems to consist of implanting an animate piece of link sausage he calls the 17th gland into a patient, shocking the dickens out of him/her with electricity, then letting the patient simmer for eight hours, it inevitably accomplishes only heretofore unheard of physical mutilations. But let me summarize the plot in Tor fashion: Tor work hard for crazy science man; catch man in garden; bring man to boss; Tor like pretty girl; pretty girl turn ugly; put man in ground; Tor get hit on head; Tor no remember rest.

The Unearthly is (mercifully) a pretty short movie; we are doubly lucky in this regard because it allows Dr. Forrester to slip in two great shorts before the film. Posture Pals is one of my favorite MTS3K shorts, while Appreciating Your Parents is a humorous attempt to indoctrinate children with an adult work ethic for performing household chores. The skits are also quality entertainment, especially the prologue in which the Bots film a "spontaneous" video (for America's Goofiest Home Videos) of Crow as a three-year-old girl sitting atop a stack of pajamas-filled boxes which Servo sets on fire. I've watched this particular 3rd-season MST3K experiment a number of times, and I still find it funny and enjoyable.

Somehow I don't think I should be laughing at Tor Johnson. After all, it wasn't entirely his fault that he is a big block of muscle with a far-off look in his eye and no acting talent evident. But knowing that doesn't stop me from laughing paralyzingly hard at every joke they make at Tor's expense. Equally terrific is John Carradine's organ playing (to which Tom Servo shouts "One more time" after the 15-minute piece is completed), the treatment of the mysteriously twitching resident in the basement (the penguin noises threw me into hysterics). The jokes start to lose steam as the movie wanders into a bland conclusion, but anyone who wants to admire the finest work making fun of a non-actor this side of "Mitchell" and "Eegah" should enjoy this. Also, read the "Van Damme" section of Mike Nelson's book for more slab-o-non-talent delights.

The short films are funny,but 'The Unearthly' is such a plodding train wreck of a movie Joel & the 'bots can only do so much to relieve the pain.They break down weeping,and you might too.Unless you have nerves of steel,this movie may make you stop believing in the deity of your choice.

Joel and the bots do best in the two shorts 'Posture Pals' and 'Appreciate Your Parents'. "The Unearthly" is far less interesting, but has many good cracks as usual. Not the best. Put your money into Eegah, Manos or Mitchell instead.

As several reviewers just said, the two opening shorts are brilliant, packed with laughs, so if you want two great shorts, just buy it for that. The movie riff-age is pretty good, but the movie itself is very painful, and the riffing drops off at some points leaving you alone with the movie... a very scary position. However, if you have a tolerance for ultra bad movies this episode is pretty good.

So, buy it for the shorts, stay for the movie-- but beware..

This was the very first MST3K I ever saw and I thought it was hilarious! The two shorts were among the best they ever did. (Only the "Cheating" short before "Wild World of Batwoman" was funnier.)

While it is true that at times Joel and the Bots did have trouble making cracks at the movie, the movie itself was funny enough by itself to keep my laughing. Tor Johnson himself made my sides hurt at times. "Time to go to bed" is still probably the best and most well-known MST tagline. Carradine on the organ doing his best Beethoven, the Confuso-vision type of filming, the endless rooms of the house ("There's is an outside! There's an outside!"), the bullet bra babes, and the hyper-active palooka (Who gets shot without the benefit of a bullet hole on his body) all made me a MSTie overnight!

I highly reccommend this episode for people who have never seen MST3K before.

"The Unearthly" is a 100% suspense-free film featuring an obsessed doctor who would be bankrupt from malpractice suits if he didn't keep his failures locked up. His nurse's jealousy could have been chalked up to the fact that her other choices were Tor Johnson, a crabby skinny patient, and the failures if she'd dropped "Doctor Dearest" as soon as the better-looking new guy came along. Why should a nurse who'd tolerate what happens to these patients care that the guy's an escaped killer? Some scenes are so dark that they almost hide the fact that very little is happening. Two of the patients are a lovely blonde and a lovely brunette. Which one will escape and which one will be the victim? Does it matter? How does the doctor pay for his failure to obtain informed consent? The jokes and the skits help, of course. See how many cannibalized game pieces you can identify during the "Unearthly" board game skit. Hey, this beats another summer rerun.

Greetings from Tromaville!

The opening two PSA's are hilarious, but the feature is so dull(even with The MST3K Posse), that I take away three stars. Buy it if it's the final MST3K video you need for your collection.

I'm a big MST3K fan, but I admit this one had to grow on me a bit, but I love it now. Tor Johnson is obviously amazing as always and he carries the film. Either way it is worth it for the shorts at the beginning. Posture Pals and Appreciating Your Parents are two of the best. Could you be one of the Posture Posse? Think about it won't you? Push the Button Frank!