The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a Happier and Healthier Life [Hardcover]

Andrew Bernstein (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 4, 2010

Where does stress come from? Financial pressures? Looming deadlines? Conflicts at work or at home? For more than half a century, we’ve been told that stress comes from circumstances like these, that it’s a by-product of our ancestors’ fight-or-flight response to danger, and that the best we can do, given the fast pace of life today, is to breathe, try to relax, and accept that life is hard. All of this, according to Andrew Bernstein, is wrong. Spurred by the death of several family members when he was young, Bernstein began a quest to understand the real dynamics of stress and resilience. He eventually realized that stress doesn’t come from your circumstances—it comes from your thoughts about your circumstances. More specifically, stress is created by a particular kind of thought that humans happen to excel at. Seeing this, Bernstein realized that the antidote to stress—and the key to far greater resilience—is not exercise or physical relaxation, but finding these stress-producing thoughts and finally dismantling them. He created a process called ActivInsight that helps you—and the people you care about—do this on your own in just seven steps, often yielding life-changing breakthroughs in a matter of minutes.

Bernstein has been teaching ActivInsight to great acclaim in schools, not-for-profits, and Fortune 500 companies since 2004. Now he shares this technique for the first time with a wider audience. In The Myth of Stress, you will experience the surprising power of this new approach for yourself as you apply ActivInsight to a wide variety of today’s most common challenges, including:

weight loss • money • success interpersonal conflict • addiction • traffic • divorce • heartbreak • discrimination • anger uncertainty about the future • loss of a loved one • and more

With compassion, intelligence, and humor, The Myth of Stress offers a complete reeducation in the nature of stress, permanently changing the way you relate to challenges—at school, at work, and at home—in order to live a happier and healthier life.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Bernstein, a former protégé of self-help guru Byron Katie and a consultant to Fortune 500 corporations, thinks stress is produced not by external circumstances but by mistaken thoughts. He has developed the seven-step ActivInsight program to combat these thoughts and banish stress and related feelings of depression, despair, anger, and frustration. Really a form of cognitive therapy, ActivInsight involves framing a should statement that expresses your stress (they should agree with me), evaluating the feelings that accompany it, and then framing its opposite, no matter how counterintuitive it sounds. One must then set out to prove the counterstatement (I should be here [in drug rehab] because I need help) and examine again the feelings it elicits and the actions it could lead to (e.g., participation). Chapter by chapter, Bernstein takes on various stress-inducing thoughts—I should weigh less; I should be successful; I shouldn't have done that—and shows how to let the air out of them. His program seems to involve formulaic thinking rather than genuine self-examination, and to ignore the plain truth that certain situations (like losing a job) are indeed stressful. (May 4)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"The Myth of Stress is a compelling, compassionate book about our suffering when we fight reality and the transformation that is possible when we don't. I loved it."

- Geneen Roth, author of When Food Is Love and Women Food and God

"Andrew Bernstein has brought some much needed common sense to the subject of stress and that alone makes this book a winner."

-- Caroline Myss, author of Defy Gravity and Invisible Acts of Power

"Bernstein has created a wonderful, accessible how-to manual for regular people wanting to feel better. This WORKS!"

--Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D., author of Potatoes Not Prozac

"Bernstein's volume is an outstanding guide to understanding the nature of stress and how to handle it.  The book provides numerous insights and techniques for anyone experiencing stress -- and who doesn't?"

 -- Aaron T. Beck, M.D., founder of Cognitive Therapy

"We often think we have to avoid or reduce stress.  The Myth of Stress teaches you not to “manage stress” but to root out the very causes of stress, the tangled thinking that keeps you stuck in the belief the world has to change for you to be happy.  Andrew Bernstein guides us through a way to untangle those thoughts and be free. Read this book and it will change your life and you will find your happiness will depend on only one thing ? YOU."

--Mark Hyman, MD, New York Times best-selling author of The UltraMind Solution

"Bernstein's volume is an outstanding guide to understanding the nature of stress and how to handle it. The book provides numerous insights and techniques for anyone experiencing stress -- and who doesn't?"

-- Aaron T. Beck, M.D., founder of Cognitive Therapy

"The Myth of Stress is a compelling, compassionate book about our suffering when we fight reality and the transformation that is possible when we don't. I loved it."

--Geneen Roth, author of When Food Is Love and Women, Food, and God

"Andrew Bernstein has brought some much needed common sense to the subject of stress and that alone makes this book a winner."

-- Caroline Myss, author of Defy Gravity and Invisible Acts of Power

"We often think we have to avoid or reduce stress. The Myth of Stress teaches you not to “manage stress” but to root out the very causes of stress, the tangled thinking that keeps you stuck in the belief the world has to change for you to be happy. Andrew Bernstein guides us through a way to untangle those thoughts and be free. Read this book and it will change your life and you will find your happiness will depend on only one thing – YOU."

--Mark Hyman, MD, New York Times best-selling author of The UltraMind Solution

"Bernstein has created a wonderful, accessible how-to manual for regular people wanting to feel better. This WORKS!"

--Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D., author of Potatoes Not Prozac

"Hans Selye's theory of stress as a fight-or-flight response is wrong and overrated, according to Bernstein, originator of ActivInsight, a cognitive method for identifying, understanding, and transforming stress. Bernstein asserts that stress originates in thoughts and beliefs, but he concedes that it has long-term physical and mental effects. Using the worksheet process adapted from his mentor Bryon Katie, Bernstein formulated ActivInsight, a seven-step stress-reduction program he has taught in seminars to corporations and nonprofit organizations. While acknowledging similarities to positive thinking, Bernstein envisions ActivInsight as working not just by replacing stressful ideas, but by subtracting the underlying negative beliefs. In the book's second half, Bernstein guides readers in applying ActivInsight to 12 common challenges ranging from anger, heartbreak, and money problems to fear of dying. By the end, readers should be able to apply ActivInsight to their own problems, though Bernstein admits that some issues may need more than a single work-sheet session. An online self-help platform with downloadable work sheets, tutorials, and email connections will be launched upon publication. VERDICT An easy-to-learn method for addressing issues underlying stress, best suited for the workbook crowd and believers in cognitive-behavioral therapy." --Library Journal

"Look out Anthony Robbins, move over Deepak Chopra, there’s a quiet storm moving up through this state and beyond. His name is Andrew Bernstein... He’s an intelligent, calm, and soft-spoken person who uses reason and logic to quiet the mind." --Vision Magazine

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Free Press; 1 edition (May 4, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1439159459
• ISBN-13: 978-1439159453
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.4 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #135,296 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andy Bernstein is the founder of ActivInsight, a new process that changes the way people approach stress, conflict, and change that was profiled in O: The Oprah Magazine. He teaches this at Fortune 500 companies like Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Twentieth Century Fox, Wachovia, Genentech, WPP, and MTV Networks, and also serves as faculty at the Wharton School in the Executive Education division, and teaches pro bono at not-for-profits like Phoenix House and City Year. Bernstein graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the Johns Hopkins University, and lives in New York City.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars First self-help book in 35 years that really worked, July 24, 2010

By 

C. Hooks - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a Happier and Healthier Life (Hardcover)

This is what a self-help book should be. You buy it, you honestly and earnestly do what it says to do and it all works like it says it will. This is the way it's supposed to be. I can't think of a higher recommendation. I was shocked at how the stress went way down when I did my own worksheet on "Why I should not be financially successful at this time." I thought taking an honest look at myself would make me feel worse and, in addition, cause me to lose my motivation to work hard. But just as the author explains in detail, you will actually unwind your emotional knots and feel much better. I actually want to work harder and smarter but this time, after having done the worksheet, I am now coming from a different place. A place of greatly improved peace and clear-mindedness. Furthermore, the changes appear to be long-lasting, not just a temporary high. But even if I'm not ultimately successful, in a way, I'm no longer emotionally attached to the outcome whatever it may be. This is the first clear-headedness and peace-of-mind I have ever experienced. I also noticed that the relief is immediate but after several days of occasional reflection the insight is deeper and so is the sweet peace. The implications are pretty staggering. This means I can be my own counselor. I no longer feel that I have to depend on anyone else for my happiness or to help me "figure things out emotionally." In my mind, this is what all my years of reading the Bible and religion should have done(bring me peace and tremendous desire to work hard). Instead, they just made me feel worse about myself and not motivated to do anything but apologize for even living. This book did for me what the Bible, religion, NLP, "Law of Attraction" books and all the other, seemingly endless, psychology books could not do. In a way, to me, this book is the Rosetta Stone for all of Psychology. What is the point of Psychology/Psychiatry? To provide insight that is totally convincing to yourself and that destroys the negative beliefs you are holding. In NLP terms, this technique allows me to to reframe-on-demand anything I want(far easier and more effective than "Mind-Lines"). And have the insights and peace-of-mind stick. If doubt creeps in, I just do another worksheet. I can now thankfully throw away my NLP books, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Think and Grow Rich, the "Law of Attraction" scam books(including "The Secret" and Joseph Murphy) and all the rest. Why couldn't they get to the point in a simple, elegant and intensely practical way like this author has? Thank you, sir.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Immediately Actionable & Supremely Effective - A Game Changer, June 21, 2010

By 

E. Quinones (New York / New Haven, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a Happier and Healthier Life (Hardcover)

The single most effective, scientifically based, and immediately actionable approach I have ever used to respond to experiences of stress, regret & discrimination - ESPECIALLY for skeptics and people turned off by anything that smells of cheesy "self-help."

Chapters "The Myth of Discrimination," "The Myth of a Broken Heart," and "The Myth of Dying Too Soon" alone are probably worth 10x the sticker price of the book.

I literally read the book from beginning to end, followed along by doing the exercises honestly, paying full attention, and have already obliterated the traces of a couple major stresses and past regrets already. Now that I've finished the book, I've established the habit of doing the very simple ActivInsight exercise on paper (on my computer, actually) whenever something new comes up.

I can't recommend this enough. Even though I'm a big "self-help" guy, I RARELY ever promote such material for fear of being made fun of.

This book is so important, though, that I don't care. Furthermore, with the book's tone I feel even more compelled to share it especially with people who are usually turned off by self-help.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly clear and elegant, May 13, 2010

By 

Brian E. Adler (Chapel Hill, NC) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a Happier and Healthier Life (Hardcover)

I have long enthusiastically studied both eastern religious and western psychological approaches to the relief of stress and suffering. Andy has identified the essential wisdom behind the ones that actually work which is that it is not our experience that causes suffering but rather our thoughts about our experience that cause us to suffer.

He presents a practical way to understand and benefit from this insight that is extremely elegant and clear. I find more than anything else I've come across, I can feel comfortable sharing Andy's book and insights with people. There is a logic and common sense to this process that once understood is so reasonable that it seems very unlikely to me to trigger the cynicism or skepticism you might expect from someone not normally attracted to this subject.

I highly recommend this book for oneself. But furthermore, I highly recommend this book for a friend who might otherwise never be open enough to consider an alternative viewpoint to negotiate their way through life difficulty.

This is a book simply, clearly, and logically enough written that I believe it can cast a very wide net on who will be able and interested to hear it. It is by no means the first book to take on this subject and to attempt to share this wisdom. But it may well be the most clear and the most accessible.