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NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life Paperback – March 2, 2000


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NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life + When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism + Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Free Press; Touchstone ed edition (March 2, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 068486293X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684862934
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #369,517 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Cathi Hanauer Mademoiselle The book worked like a year of shrink sessions.

R. Reid Wilson, Ph.D. author of Don't Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks Finally, someone who understands the fear, pain, and exhaustion caused by the pursuit of perfection.

Mike Maza The Dallas Morning News [Basco] explains how to recognize and challenge the counterproductive thinking, oversimplifications and overblown expectations of perfectionists, and includes a chapter on how to live with one.

About the Author

Monica Ramirez Basco, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, researcher, teacher, author, and lecturer. She is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas. She has given dozens of invited addresses and workshops throughout North and South America and Europe and is the author of a book about cognitive behavioral therapy for bipolar disorder. Dr. Basco lives in Dallas, Texas.

Customer Reviews

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This Is the best book I've read on the topic.
Messy Miracles
In fact, the book will really not be as valuable if the reader is not willing to put the time and effort in to doing at least some of these activities.
Ms Diva
Dr. Basco catches up this latest trend and translates it into the readable language for lay persons, without losing scientific facts.
Ta-Wei Wang

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

84 of 87 people found the following review helpful By Paul L on January 9, 2005
Format: Paperback
While it might have a catchy title, I don't think this book is intended for those who already know themselves to be perfectionists. Basco spends most of the text examining scenarios faced by four fictitious perfectionists. I didn't find this to be of any value because I know what perfectionists do and I'm perfectly (ha!) aware of the problems they face every day - I am one and that's why I bought the book in the first place!

Basco's overly-simplistic approach on how to deal with the problems this personality trait creates is clearly from someone who doesn't have a serious problem with the issue herself. It is surprising to me that she has 'treated' as many perfectionists as she claims. It surprises me because she merely scrapes the surface of the problems that perfectionism brings about, and to be quite frank she doesn't show herself to have as good of a handle on this topic as someone writing a book about it should. Did Basco do any real research on this prior to writing the book? Where's the bibliography? While sources are readily available, this book seems to be based on the author's conclusions alone.

If you don't know whether or not you're a perfectionist and you want to find out, then this might be the book for you. And if you're a student of psychology and you want to be able to identify perfectionism when you see it, this book might be of some value. I gave the book three stars because I think it might be somewhat useful under either of those two circumstances. However, if you already know you have a serious problem with perfectionism (as I do) and you're looking for real-world solutions, I think you will probably come away very disappointed with this book. Had I been judging this book for the latter quality alone I would have granted it a single star.
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42 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Ta-Wei Wang on August 2, 2001
Format: Paperback
There are dozens of books on perfectionism, but I think this one is the best. Research psychologists Hewitt & Flett (1991) have shown that perfectionism is not always liked with neurotism, instead there are three different types: self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed perfectionism. Dr. Basco catches up this latest trend and translates it into the readable language for lay persons, without losing scientific facts. The first chapter offers a wonderful self-diagnosing test. The second chapter compares the advantages and disadvantages of perfectionism. I think this is especially valuable. Traditional books on this topics use very strong words like ¡§Beat your perfectionism,¡¨ or ¡§Fight your perfectionism¡¨¡Ketc. Sometimes it feels even more depressed to learn that the part of yourself is so bad. Dr. Basco uses a more peaceful way to help you make friends with this part of yourself. Perfectionists are no longer blamed for themselves! The remaining chapters are some step-by-step guidelines to change the inner thoughts that lead to maladjusting perfectionism, which are mainly based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). At the professional level, being a mental health counselor, I wish I could find more about the etiology and origins of perfectionism, and the psychodynamic approach to treat this issue in this book. (Am I too perfectionistic??) But at the personal level, I gain a lot of insight about my own perfectionism and its effect on my work and relationships. That's why I give this book five stars!!
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40 of 42 people found the following review helpful By Ms Diva on September 23, 2001
Format: Paperback
I love this book. It helps the reader determine if they are a perfectionist, how this impacts their lives negatively, in what areas perfectionism is a problem, and gives ways to cope with perfectionism. The techniques to manage perfectionism are based on sound psychological theory. The author has a clear writing style and she uses alot of good quality illustrative examples. She makes the more theoretical material come alive and simplifies it without insulting the intelligence of the reader.
Some of the activities can be time consuming, but they are well worth it. In fact, the book will really not be as valuable if the reader is not willing to put the time and effort in to doing at least some of these activities. The book also contains ideas to help people who do not consider themselves perfectionists cope with the people in their lives who are perfectionistic. Well worth reading!!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is one of my favorite books. Read it 10+ years ago and it really helped me to reconsider how I approached my work as well as other people. The exercises get you to dig into real situations and, if you do,them, you will experience a real shift. Afraid I would be compromising my values of doing good work and being responsible, I learned that I don't have to sacrifice quality if I relax and adjust my expectations. This Is the best book I've read on the topic.
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