Customer Reviews

NO: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Dr. Walsh has nailed it. We parents have got to wake up and heed his call. What a wonderful book, full of suggestions and ideas that I imagine has our ancestors nodding in approval. As Dr Walsh points out, self discipline is not optional for happiness and success in life. I have heard Dr Walsh give one of his brilliant workshops and hope that I may be able to gather the time and resources to attend again when he presents the ideas from this timely and inspiring book.

What a great book. It's an easy read and will reinforce to most parents that they are doing the right thing. Parents tend to have excuses for spoiling their kids (you can't give them too much love, it helps their self esteem, I don't want them to not like me, etc.). This book addresses all those "theories." Bottom line: Kids need direction and their minds are not developed like adults. They literally do not have the capacity to think like adults and our role as parents is to help shape that competency in a healthy way.

Finally, a book on 'realistic' parenting. I'm so weary of hearing that we are too strict on our child because we don't allow him to do whatever he wants, talk nasty to us or other adults, etc. I've seen kids who never heard the word 'no', (or their parents didn't stick with it). When these children finally get into the job force and have to deal with all sorts of limits, behave themselves, and show respect, they become even more unhappy. I've not seen a single example of a child who was a happy, well-adjusted adult because he or she got their own way all the time. This book is on my top ten list of parenting guides and I have to say 'Bravo' to David Walsh for saving us from one of our biggest mistakes as parents, 'over-indulgence'.

Chrissy K. McVay
Author of 'Souls of the North Wind'

First off, don't let the generic "self-helpy" cover and title of this book turn you off. This is one of the better parenting books I've read this year. It's extremely well written and engaging with endless amounts of useful tips and food for thought. The author is not just a PhD, but also an experienced parent who has clearly spent ample professional and personal time working with kids of all ages.

I completely agree with his premise that:
1) parenting isn't easy and certainly isn't (and shouldn't) always be fun
2) the most successful parents are those who work hard to remain flexible, open, and calm
3) we owe it to our kids to set appropriate boundaries and enforce those boundaries consistently
4) rules are not "one size fits all" but should be tailored to fit not just the child's age but also the child's individual needs and personality
5) the judicious use of "no" with your child -- while it may produce some acting out in the short term -- will eventually pay off for your entire family (and, dare I say it, society) in the long term

Why four stars? As a parent who is very focused on my young child's nutrition, I was surprised this author recommended witholding meals from toddler/preschool age children who refuse to eat/finish lunch or dinner. While I think this is a valid technique to use with older kids, the fact is toddlers a) are natural grazers and not likely to eat everything put in front of them for the "big" meals of the day and more importantly b) have smaller stomachs, higher levels of energy, and are prone to low blood sugar and therefore should eat at least every two to four hours a day. I totally get how important it is to teach your children that their choices can either lead to a positive or negative outcome. But I personally don't feel witholding food is the way to go at this age. Should you withold desserts and treats? Totally! But don't send a toddler to bed hungry -- look for alternative food sources (fruit, carrots, crackers) to ensure they aren't sleeping on an empty stomach.

Aside from the one negative, and regardless of what your personal parenting style is (laid back, strict, etc), I recommend you do yourself and your kid(s) a favor and get your hands on this book. Chances are it will either confirm that you've been doing the right thing all along (and provide some additional tools) or give you the wake-up call you need to get your family back on track.

"David Walsh's new book "NO and Ways Parents Can Say It," could not come at a better time. Parents. whose children are naggers, will find "NO" a tremendously valuable resource. Dr. Walsh has collected a myriad of family stories to make important points about the value of saying "NO."
This book is highly readable and designed to engage the parent/caregiver in defining his/her own weaknesses and making a plan to change their own behaviors. Whether your child is 2 or 12,you must read this book! Your child will be all the better because of it."

Frank Baker education consultant, Media Literacy Clearinghouse Inc.

I have two children, ages 4 and 6 1/2, and I'm pretty strict most of the time. I already agree that children need limits and a fair amount of "No". You could say that Mr. Walsh is preaching to the choir here, and you'd be right. Regardless, reading this book has helped me to be a better parent. The author recommends a balanced approach, neither domineering nor overly permissive. Reading this book has helped clarify how I want to raise my children and it's given me the extra strength I need to be consistent in my approach. It's a lot of fun to read too. Sometime parnting books can be so dry. Not this one. It's full of stories from the field, so to speak. Like all the other reviewers I highly recommend it!!!

It is easy for us parents to get caught up in saying, "yes" and giving into our kids demands. It was just easier for me to give my kids what they wanted (when reasonable). At the very least it quieted them down, for a little while. However, what this book showed me very clearly is that we have an entire culture of "Yes", "Anything you want honey" and "My child couldn't do anything wrong". It also made it very clear that this attitude, or culture is hurting our kids and making our lives miserable. Dr. David Walsh delivers a strong dose of reality in one word, "No". Incredibly he does it in such a way that children and parents can enjoy more freedom and less anxiety. It becomes perfectly clear why we parents need to hold our children to rules and make them earn respect, and delay gratification.

When we give our kids everything (they think) they want it fosters attitudes of instant gratification; worse we set them up for failure and ourselves up for needless struggle and hardships. We or I also need to feel good about holding my children to higher standards and expectations, and Dr. Walsh does and excellent job of spelling that out in this book. There are many suggestions and checklists for each chapter.

This book has so many great lessons and insights; too many to list in the 5 minutes I have to write this review. All I can say is that I highly recommend the book "No' to any parent and then pass it along to some parent who doesn't need it. You will understand what I mean after you read it.

This book provides the proof that too much screen time is detremental to children's character, academics and their fitness (that one's obvious). Many research results on eletronic media effect on our children and families.

Excellent, easy to read, with practical suggestions for analyzing your parenting style and how it effects your children. I particularly like the relationship between saying "no" and self-esteem/character. As a family coach and parent educator, I find myself recommending this book over and over!

The primary message of this book is that in the past few decades, there has been a slide in the number of parents who are able to set limits for their children, and that this inability to set limits has led to a generation of children who no longer can control themselves, so it is up to parents to take control again and say "no". When children are able to get everything they want, they lose the ability to set limits for themselves. In addition, Dr. Walsh believes that the role of the media in encouraging a consumer society makes parents jobs even tougher.

This book will be a great support for parents who are considering how to raise their children. In addition, I would recommend this to readers in general. The behavior described applies not only to children, but to many adults that you may see in the workplace as well. You may get some ideas on how to deal with people who can't set limits for themselves. The best method is to teach children when they're young. If you have children, definitely pick up this book. You'll be glad that you did.