The Naked Witch / Crypt of Dark Secrets (Special Edition)
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The Crypt of Dark Secrets takes place in Louisiana bayou country. It reminded me of comic books like Swamp-Thing and Man Thing. The acting is the definition of wooden but I found the photography to be nice and the colors crisp on the DVD. The lead witch in this production is very attractive and does have a prolonged nude scene.
Then there are a ton of short subjects and witch related trailers. One of the most incoherent of the shorts is called something like the Great Pearl Snatch where forbidden Lesbian love and a lust for pearls collide in an epic rambling journey of rambling epic proportion. I don't know what it was about but it had some nudity.
Then there's the even more completely incoherent Acid Skull, which is the best short on the disk that combines LSD, a human skull, two naked girls in chains, and disco lights into about ten minutes of something. But don't worry, what ever it is, its not as bad as Moulin Rouge.
The second feature is Crypt Of The Living Dead and it was shot in Louisiana. A mysterious woman on an island brings a man back from the dead and they seek revenge of those who killed him. Thick with voodoo and murky swamp vengeance, this is another rare treat for horror fans.
Great extras and trailers as only Something Weird can do. Check it out!
In Crypt of Dark Secrets, all you get for your trouble are 4 drownings, one robbery, one naive vietnam vet, and a long and boring look at a fictional society (with a population of 4 or 5 people (one dead)) that lived in the New Orleans swamps before the Europeans arrived. These ancient ones apparently spent most of their time doing boring, hippy dippy dances. Interestingly, half of them were white. But it's not as funny as it sounds. The only interesting thing is the swamp footage. It is unfortunate this movie takes up space on this DVD, but even if you skip this second feature, you get more than you do on most DVDs. The extras, plus "The Naked Witch", directed by Larry Buchanan, the man behind such hits as "Zontar" and "Mars Needs Women", make the DVD worthwhile.
"The Naked Witch" starts out with a long introduction giving the history of beliefs about witches around the time of the Black Death, with lots of great detail shots of Bosch's famous triptych. This opening is sort of like a sensational counterpoint to the classic "Haxan". It then goes into the history of a (real!) village in Texas settled by Germans which has maintained a culture straight out of mid-1800s Germany. Once these almost-documentaries end, it tells the story of a folklorist arriving in the village to study the legend of a witch (a real German folk legend transplanted to Texas, and previously the subject of a movie in Germany called, guess what, "The Naked Witch"). All of this I found interesting enough (many viewers may find these openings boring, but imagine going to a drive-in for a horror movie and sitting through this!Read more ›
So why was I waiting for this? Claude Alexander, the producer of this movie, was a second cousin of mine. I remember back then him talking to my father about the financing and telling stories about getting it past city censors. It was great to hear the interview on the DVD. He thought as little about the movie then as he did on the DVD. For him it was just a way to put food on the table. I was too young to see the movie when it was released, but I was certainly curious! Claude died last July, 2006.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Loved it Herb Jahncke was brilliant as Sgt. Buck. Great swamp and river shots.Published 16 months ago by RU12HI5
I bought this for Crypt of Dark Secrets, there is no crypt, or secrets, I enjoed it a lot and will be watching it again. Read morePublished 20 months ago by DaveB13
This Something Weird disc is a double feature containing the witchcraft/voodoo themed movies THE NAKED WITCH and CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS. Read morePublished on October 13, 2010 by Bigstory
Better than I thought it would be!
If you like b-movies you will love this.
These are two rare regional hottor movies that something wierd dug up for all of those rare horror film fans: people like me. Read morePublished on June 13, 2009 by Michael Dobey