Award-winning author Sister Renee Pittelli is an Adult Child Recovery Mentor, victim's advocate, and the founder and director of Luke 17:3 Ministries for Adult Daughters of Abusive, Controlling, or Abandoning Birth-Families. She is the product of an abusive childhood and abusive family relationships that continued long into her adulthood. At the age of 47 the Lord set her free, when she was disowned by her abusive family for setting limits on their behavior. Since then, God has blessed Sister Renee with healing and peace, and has led her to help others by sharing her testimony and experiences. She has written extensively about family abusers, narcissists, sociopaths, and their Silent Partners, the dilemmas unique to abusive family systems, the Biblical perspective on abuse, setting and enforcing boundaries, godly confrontation, the myth of forgiveness without repentance, honoring abusive parents, cutting ties with reprobate relatives, maintaining No Contact, and living the life of freedom, peace, and joy that our heavenly Father intended for us.
***Listen to my interview with Stacy Lynn Harp at Active Christian Media about my book Narcissistic Predicaments- This time we cover topics like restitution, abuser's funerals, setting limits, circular arguments, "personality disorders", N's abandonment issues, etc. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn and ACM. Click here for the podomatic link. Enjoy and share please :)
***Check out my interview with Stacy Lynn Harp of Active Christian Media. We talk about narcissistic families, forgiveness without repentance, my book Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse including excerpts, and much more. Many thanks to Stacy Lynn Harp and Active Christian Media, and praise the Lord!:
Wow, a must-read! For those who desire a change in their lives I would highly recommend this book regardless of whether you are a Christian or not. It's a treasure chest of valuable information that aims to improve your life and the lives of your loved ones.
Sister Renee totally hits the nail on the head with one difficult situation after another. Narcissistic Predicaments taught me how to cope with continuing problems and abuse and how not to feel guilty for doing the right thing.
For example, my family never accepted my wife from the time they met her, although we've now been happily married for over 30 years. I never understood why, or how to set boundaries on their abuse and interference, but now I do. I wish I had this book 30 years ago. It's dynamite, covers some really controversial situations, is an easy read, and I would even recommend giving one as a gift to your spouse.
All along whenever other people would tell me I had to keep overlooking my family's abuse and accept them the way they were or I wouldn't be a good Christian, I always felt something was wrong with that kind of thinking but I couldn't put it into words. I knew God would not want me to accept abuse and evil. This book made it possible for me to clarify my thoughts about this and has validated and encouraged me. I found it to be a very useful tool, and full of helpful scripture I never knew existed. Now I know my feelings were right all along- it is okay to set boundaries and my greatest responsibility before God is to protect myself and my wife and children, not my abusive relatives.
I went down the list of the 102 Questions to ask yourself when deciding whether to end an abusive relationship and saw myself in almost every one.Read more ›
Narcissistic Predicaments was exactly the book that I have been awaiting. I bought it as soon as it was available! After several years of studying narcissism and sociopathic behavior, I also needed the Bible's recommendation for the Christian who unfortunately has these family relationships. It addresses such life events as sickness, death, holidays. It helps with folk's gut-wretching decision to "stay or leave" the scene. Several years ago, I decided to exit. (An ethical person will be compelled to exit from the narcissistic family. In my case, too many unethical things were done and too many lies were told - all the while the narcissists wore the "mask of deception" and went faithfully to church. Needless to say, confusion is a by-product of seeing this conflicting personna. Multi-generational enmeshment is also toxic.) This book had much scripture and was written very personally. A must-read for the Christian who desires (above all else) to carry oneself with wisdom and uprightly. Beware though, the slander will be hard to endure. It is also amazing how few people will question the narcissistic's poor pitiful victimization stories. But, the Bible encourages us to be patient and wait upon the Lord. Two other great informative books are MALIGNANT SELF LOVE, and THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR.
I've read other works on the subject (The Drama of the Gifted Child (Alice Miller - I highly recommend this, too! Perfect companion to Narcissistic Predicaments!), Nina Brown's stuff (I don't recommend her work), etc.). Narcissistic Predicaments was THE MOST USEFUL.
It's the one volume I return to again and again, because the anecdotes and clear, honest dialogue serve as memorable and encouraging examples. As I go through the AWFUL journey of recognizing mother's horrid malignant narcissism, to acknowledging the painful realities of having a mother who never loved you (and probably can't), and all the steps of grief and loss and anger leading up to the ultimate "No Contact" decision (one, like you, I really, really wanted to avoid in the beginning!), it was so astoundingly comforting to have an honest companion in Sister Renee there for the journey (and it's a tough one - know that you're not alone!).
Humourous chapter headings like, "Just when you thought it was safe to put up the Christmas tree - The strange phenomenon of the surprise pre-holiday contact" made me know that this was going to be a work based in actual reality - not subjective idealism and "good advice" (I really didn't like Nina Brown's stuff in retrospect. Even my psychologist raised a dubious eyebrow at some of her assertions).
Sister Renee gets down to the meat of it - what the cover promises; STRATEGIES. And I sure needed (and need!) them! It's so hard to think clearly with all this hurt inside. I especially love the LONG-TERM strategies and anecdotes - 2 years no-contact, 10 years no-contact, and what to expect, based on Sister Renee's experience, from your estranged family in that time (no, they don't go away. Here's some of the stunts they'll try to pull. And here's what you do about it!).Read more ›
This book is a must read whether you have been the victim of abuse or not. It is a tutorial on how to recognize abusive people and how not to fall prey to their manipulations. It gives the abused strength, and gives the bystander knowledge about how not to become a silent partner to further victimize the abused.