The Nasty Little Writing Book : Longtime New York Publishing Insider Reveals Secrets Only Best-Selling Authors Know [Hardcover]

Madelyne Simone Rovenhauer (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0965840786 | ISBN-13: 978-0965840781 | Publication Date: September 1, 2000

BOOK BY PUBLISHING INSIDER TOPPLES PUBLISHING FROM PEDESTAL A new satire of how-to-write-books by NY publishing insider Madelyne Simone Rovenhauer has the market all to itself. In a genre rife with deadly serious texts purporting to teach the beginner to write bestselling novels, there is now a deadly satire. Anything but the usual publishing cheerleader, Rovenhauer bites not only the hand that feeds her, but every hand within reach. Her nasty little book topples publishing from its pedestal and into the gutter where it belongs, and anyone who has ever read any of an endless stream of how-to-write books in hopes of being published—and collected rejection slips—will want to read this hilarious spoof.

Rovenhauer deals with all aspects of writing a bestselling novel on one’s first try—from awaiting the muse to coping with ensuing fame. Included in her acerbic guide are: secrets of ‘bonding’ with new york editors, writing about sex, what genre is ripe for ‘breaking in’, why you should not ‘write what you know’, how TV can be your doorway to success, why literary agents want to ‘discover’ you, and much more. Bitingly satirical and choc-a-block with lies as it is—this nasty little tome serves up a bigger dose of truth than any gross of the usual how-to-be-published books.

The Nasty Little Writing Book guarantees a contract with a large publishing house and a million dollar advance on the reader’s first attempt. Ms. Rovenhauer is that confident, that filled with sage advice for the novice. Vicious as it is nasty, those familiar with the realities of the publishing world will find Rovenhauer’s nasty little spoof acerbically on target.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Madelyne Simone Rovenhauer (a nom de plume) and D.W. St. John (A Terrible Beauty) present The Nasty Little Writing Book: Dirty Little Secrets of Bestselling Authors Revealed by New York Publishing Insider, filled with all the things a budding author should not do, under the guise of being helpful and chummy in a hilarious, backstabbing kind of way, of course. With a heavy speaking tour and healthy promotional efforts, sales and gales of laughter should be on the rise. Agent, Bernie P. Steinfelder. 15-city West Coast author tour. 50,000 first print run; $20,000 advertising budget.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From the Publisher

DISCLAIMER—READ THIS FIRST!

This is a work of satire. It is intended for entertainment purposes only! Nothing herein should be interpreted as a substitute for seeking legal advice from an attorney. ALWAYS—consult with an attorney before signing a contract of any kind! Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages suffered by those following the advice contained herein. If you do not agree with the terms stated herein you may return it to the bookstore where you bought it. Don’t ask for a refund. Just leave it on the counter and walk away. You know there is no way you will ever have the nerve to ask for a refund on a book this nasty.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 132 pages
• Publisher: Poison Vine Books (September 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0965840786
• ISBN-13: 978-0965840781
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,217,365 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Author profiles are written by the authors themselves. Did you know that? That's why in author bio's, authors never 'live' anywhere---they 'reside.' Sounds better doesn't it? But, honestly, they just live somewhere.

Authors are people---just like readers. They are born, work, love, have kids, age and die.

Authors are neither more clever nor more interesting than you are, they just have to pretend to be, because who would pay to read a book by someone as ordinary as they are?

Why do we write?
Every writer has a different reason.
We want people to think we're smart.
We're not comfortable talking to people directly. We can write all the clever stuff we could never think of in real life.
We want to share our dreams.
We want to make a few shekels.
That's all.

But enough about me...

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars An in joke that falls very flat indeed, March 8, 2004

By 

Tam Mossman (Undisclosed) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Nasty Little Writing Book : Longtime New York Publishing Insider Reveals Secrets Only Best-Selling Authors Know (Hardcover)

If brevity's the soul of wit, this 121-page wheeze is still too long. Smug author thinks it's a laff riot to invert standard advice (single-space your manuscripts, never revise a word, demand $1,000,000 in your query letters . . . are we getting the joke yet?). Soon, even author herself grows bored, starts satirizing romance novels and anything else within her limited reach--in a nonstop, archly overwritten style.

The only valid lesson this book teaches is what it might to be like to be being trapped in an elevator with Dame Edna on speed.

21 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars KEEP THIS BOOK OUT OF THE HANDS OF THE GULLIBLE., January 17, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: The Nasty Little Writing Book : Longtime New York Publishing Insider Reveals Secrets Only Best-Selling Authors Know (Hardcover)

This book has to be the most cynical look at writing and publishing I've ever devoured. Reading it is like walking blidfolded through a patch of cockleburr--every few lines you wince. Not ready to laugh at yourself, at bestsellers, at writing, at writers, at publishing in general? Then don't open this one. It spares no one and nothing.

16 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Written with a dark, satirical twist, August 11, 2002

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Nasty Little Writing Book : Longtime New York Publishing Insider Reveals Secrets Only Best-Selling Authors Know (Hardcover)

Written by literary agent Madelyne Simone Rovenhauer, with the assistance of D.W. St. John, The Nasty Little Writing Book is a very special guide to writing your own book and getting published - with a dark, satirical twist. Not all of its sometimes cynical advice is meant to be taken literally; many an aspiring or published author will savor a well-earned chuckle from the tongue-in-cheek suggestions. Parody assertions such as that publishers do not remainder books before their time, or that the author bears no responsibility for publicity, are not to be read at face value! At the same time, many insider "dirty little secrets" in the New York dominated publishing industry are exposed for all the world to see, from an expose on sentence sophistry to writing crises as a ploy. Highly recommended as leisure reading for the experienced writer looking to enjoy a good (albeit occassionally rueful) laugh, The Nasty Little Writing Book should be required reading for anyone who aspires to be a "best selling" published author from one of the major publishing houses.