Customer Reviews

Nasty Women

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Nasty Women makes you think it's about that female from Hell you have involved yourself with...it is, but it is sympathetic to her and to you...I've read books about personality disorders, evil people and wolves in sheep's clothing...they all had the same theme...lot's of luck, get a job out of town, change your cell phone number and run...Nasty Women tells you that too, if you are with the wrong one...but if you are with the right one but on the wrong page, this is the book for you...I'm listing my old books on Amazon and keeping this one...the suggestions Jay Carter makes will work for anybody, even if they are unlucky enough to be with a real nasty woman...

Without doubt this book opened my eyes to how I come across to people and how my female friends come across to me. I bought this book for my partner as he has some nasty female in his life whom was affecting him emotionally as well as psychologically. For anyone who wants to learn how to become more aware to those around who play the part of nice to your face and nasty behind your back, this book gives you great insight in learning how to deal with them and restores your self confidence and self respect. Full marks to the author!

Nasty People by the same author is good and helpful. I married a woman with narcissistic personality disorder and thought this might give me some additional insights. Unfortunately the author doesn't seem to consider that women can be Narcissists and focuses more on emotional types of drama and behaviors. If you are looking for insight into the peculiarities of female Narcissists, you won't find those answers here.

For men who are reading 'Nasty Women' I would suggest that you work on not allowing other people(particularly women) to control your self-esteem. Jay is right that men are uniquely vulnerable to this kind of control from women. He is right about nothing else, unfortunately. (Take a look at my review of 'Nasty Men' to see a review of Jay's double standards. In essense he tells women to emotionally shut off from male 'invalidators' while telling women--in 'Nasty Women--how to be more effective 'invalidators' and prevent men from shutting them off emotionally. That bad taste? It's sexist double standards!)

There is a big catch-22, here. You may think you're doing what your wife wants you to do when you bow to her standards and expectations of you but she will sense that she controls you. She will sense that you are, at core, childish and lacking in adult self-possetion. Gradually as your relationship matures and you do more and more of what she suggests to turn you into 'a better man' she will progressively loose her sexual, emotional, mental and spiritual interest in you. You will become her perfect child when she wants a man she can respect (I know, I know, SUCH a dirty thought in this day and age, a woman wanting a relationship with a man she can respect.)

Adults don't look to others for their self-esteem needs(or they are very careful to choose _who_ to look to for their self-esteem needs.) Women don't want relationships with children--even if they find their ability to mold them seductive--they want relationships with adults who know themselves and know who they want to be.

Also, Jay's system minimizes women abusing men by casting much of the abuse as acceptable behavior. Just a thought. I'd like to see him speak to some men who have really been put through the wringer by women.

Lets put it this way, After reading this book you will become not only understanding but compasionate to the feelings of women but also know how to take back your "control" with out them knowing it.