Customer Reviews

Navigating Differences: Friendships Between Gay and Straight Men (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies)

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is an excellent and unique resource. It's written in a kind of silted, academic style--but that's no matter. Understanding how gay and straight male friends relate to each other, both in good and bad ways, is a topic you won't find treated much anywhere else. If you have a good friend who's gay, or a good friend who's straight, you'll come to appreciate him *much* *much* more from reading this. I think it makes a great gift, too, after you come out to someone.

As an out gay man with quite a few straight male friends, I found this book to be an engaging and informative look into these types of relationships. The author has done many interviews and has come up with a system that describes the unique strengths, weaknesses and challenges of the various permutations of straight/gay male friendships. Essentially, these parings fall into (roughly) three categories, based on level of comfort, support, and tolerance of the straight male. As I read the book, I found myself being able to place various friends in one category or another and I can honestly say it helped to to understand each of them a bit more. For instance, there have been times I have been frustrated with certain straight friends for their lack of emotional depth but this book helped me realize that many straight men simply do not have the same tools of communication that gay men (and straight women) have. There are many more subtle revelations I had while reading the book that helped to give me further insight into my own circle of friends.

In light of how fast gay-rights have been moving in the last 15 years, some of the information seems a bit dated and I would love for the author to do an update, but overall I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to explore this dynamic of friendships between gay and straight men. There isn't a lot of work out there on the subject, and the author has done an admirable job with her research and presentation.