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Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options Paperback – May 5, 2009


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Frequently Bought Together

Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options + Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility + Infertility Survival Handbook
Price for all three: $38.80

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press; Original edition (May 5, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580052622
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580052627
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #893,414 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"[Navigating the Land of If] aims to help couples understand fertility lingo and stay sane while going through the process. Ford writes a blog, Stirrup Queens. She lives with her husband and twins, a boy and girl, born after fertility treatments."
Newsday

"Solutions [covered in Navigating the Land of If] range from having fertility treatment, using donor gametes, surrogacy, adoption and living child-free. The "IF" in the title of the book not only is connected to the online definition for infertility, but also refers to the notion that there are so many ifs involved in the problem, [Ford] writes in her book. “There are what ifs and if onlys and if this, then thats. …Being here is all about living in uncertainty and doubt and wonder and hope… "
Jewish Weekly

More About the Author

Melissa Ford is the author of the blog, Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.com). She is also a contributing editor at BlogHer. She received her MFA in creative writing from the University of Massachusetts--Amherst. You can find her on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/MelissaFordAuthor). She lives with her twins and writer husband, Josh.

Melissa's books are Navigating the Land of If (Seal Press, 2009), Life from Scratch (Bell Bridge, December 2010), Measure of Love (Bell Bridge, April 2013), and Apart at the Seams (Bell Bridge, coming 2014). She is also the author of Nidah, a short story on Amazon. She curses her common name and apologizes for any confusion with the other Melissa Fords on Amazon.

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
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See all 30 customer reviews
It's a book I would definitely recommend to anyone going through infertility.
loribeth
If you're dealing with infertility, one thing I can promise you is that this book will make you feel less alone.
R. Golden
This book was very well written, and I felt like a very compassionate friend was helping me through.
Beebee

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By loribeth on July 3, 2009
Format: Paperback
I probably brought a slightly different perspective to reading this book than many readers. My infertility journey ended several years ago when my husband & I made the painful decision to abandon infertility treatments & live childless/free. It's been a long time since I cracked open a guide to infertility, and in fact, I have given away most of the ones I had in my collection.

However -- the shadow of infertility & loss continue to hover over my life, which is why, even after all these years, I continue to read books, articles & blogs about it -- including Mel's blog, Stirrup Queens, which I love. She is a great support for those of us in the ALI (adoption, loss & infertility) community, and so I was keen to read her book.

Even though I found some sections more interesting/applicable than others (as I'm sure most readers did, or will), I loved the book, and I wish it had been around when I was going through treatment. Most infertility guides that I've read tend to be a tad clinical. Not this book. The tone is that of a slightly older/wiser girlfriend who'd already been there/done that and is filling you in on what to expect when you're NOT expecting and trying to do something about it.

It's a book I would definitely recommend to anyone going through infertility. It would also be fabulous to read if you're a fertile person hoping to gain some insight into what a friend or family member is going through and how you can best support them.

Because my husband & I wound up living without children, I was particularly interested in what Melissa would have to say on the subject, and went straight for the chapter on childfree living first.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Chyckadee on January 4, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm a long-time blog reader of a number of infertility blogs. I happily bought this book for my sister, who was undergoing treatment for repeat miscarriage (RM). Perhaps the hype from the blogosphere built it up too much.

The pluses- it is a handy overview if you're new to the world of infertility, better for those who have trouble getting pregnant than those who struggle to stay pregnant.

The minuses- Her advice about generally trying not to worry when you do get pregnant is at best insensitive for those with RM. And also inaccurate. If you've had 3 miscarriages, and you're over 30, - your chances of another miscarriage are pretty high. She also repeats some irritating misinformation commonly thrown around in the popular press. There is nothing magic about age 35 where fertility suddenly drops off and risk of downs syndrome spikes. Its a steady change over time.

While these issues may seem petty, i'd posit they are no more petty than a number of the issues she is very sensitive and thorough about.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By R. Golden on May 3, 2009
Format: Paperback
Where to begin? Medically, this book is painstakingly accurate. Emotionally, Ms. Ford took such care in covering the many emotional pitfalls of dealing with infertility. Reading this book sometimes felt like sitting with a close friend whose shoulder you could cry on, and she would ALWAYS say the right thing. If you're dealing with infertility, one thing I can promise you is that this book will make you feel less alone.

A big thank you to the ultimate Stirrup Queen!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Beebee on May 13, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book was very well written, and I felt like a very compassionate friend was helping me through. It felt SO non-judgmental and inclusive, but without any of the annoying PC stuff. A lot of it is stuff I already had to struggle through, but it would have been a companion for Unsung Lullabies on my shelf had I had it earlier. I'm sure many will find lots of comfort and info between its covers. I like the realistic view of how cycles really go. No fluff here.

The pregnancy stuff now at the end is comforting to me as well and so were the recalls of Melissa's experiences. I always felt Uunsung Lullabies was missing that... a personal touch that helped you know the writers had been there with you. I also really liked the snarky aspect. It makes you feel like you weren't alone in some of those bitter feelings and shows that even someone as kind and inclusive as Melissa has been has had them. In short, it validates, and that's all any of us want. Well done.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Another Dreamer on April 27, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I got the book in the mail a few days ago. I have found it to be quite witty and informative of the ins and outs of the Land of IF.

It covered places other books may not have, such as conversations and when people give unwanted advice (Which as anyone might know, can be rather unpleasant all around.) I liked the three levels on reply she offers up, and examples for each.

While other's advice may be unwanted, her advice was quite sound. I'd definitely recommend this to others.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By M. Jewart on June 30, 2009
Format: Paperback
This is by far the best IF guidebook out there. Melissa Ford tells it to you straight, but also manages to be supportive and kind in dealing with such an emotional topic. I love that she is inclusive of every kind of IF as well as every possible solution. Melissa Ford is definitely the friend you want in your backpocket as you traverse the island of IF.
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