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The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You [Paperback]

S. Bear Bergman (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 1, 2009

"Bear's poetry of butchness lets us see into facets of gender that usually aren't so transparent."—Carol Queen

"Following Kate Bornstein, Bergman explains how butches live outside of the inane gender binary, and how society responds to gender rebellion."—Chill Magazine

Alternately unsettling and affirming, devastating and delicious, The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You is a new collection of essays on gender and identity by S. Bear Bergman that is irrevocably honest and endlessly illuminating. With humor and grace, these essays deal with issues from women's spaces to the old boys' network, from gay male bathhouses to lesbian potlucks, from being a child to preparing to have one. Throughout, S. Bear Bergman shows us there are things you learn when you're visibly different from those around you—whether it's being transgressively gendered or readably queer. As a transmasculine person, Bergman keeps readers breathless and rapt in the freakshow tent long after the midway has gone dark, when the good hooch gets passed around and the best stories get told. Ze offers unique perspectives on issues that challenge, complicate, and confound the "official stories" about how gender and sexuality work.

S. Bear Bergman's first book was Butch is a Noun (Suspect Thoughts Press). Ze is an activist, gender-jammer, and author of two books and three award-winning solo stage shows. Bergman recently relocated to Burlington, Ontario, from New England.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Bear Bergman writes circles around most people—circles that enclose so many identities, and so much insight about all of them, that you’re bound to see some of your own selves newly, and beautifully, reflected there.
―Carol Queen, author of Real Live Nude Girl (Carol Queen 20090814)

Life having the unpredictable crossroads it does, I've often wondered how memoirists handle the problem of writing a second book. Thanks to Bear Bergman's The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You, I know the answer: one goes about it with good-humored smarts, candid humility, and a queer and delightful generosity of spirit.
—Hanne Blank, author of Virgin: The Untouched History (Hanne Blank 20091005)

If we could just clone Bergman’s brain and manners, the world would be a much better place, indeed. This new collection of meditations, essays, and stories about living visibly queer is complex in beautifully simple ways.
—Helen Boyd, author of My Husband Betty (Helen Boyd Helen Boyd 20091125)

Bear Bergman is an endearing, gallant, sexy fellow, the queer world's daddy, brother, and son. In Nearest Exit, he's writing it all down for us, today's transgender experience. This is a landmark book for both queer theory and literature, written by an accomplished teller of tales. It's a book that will be cherished by generations of queer youth and adults alike. My heart overflows the brim with love and pride when I read his words.
—Kate Bornstein, author of Hello, Cruel World (Kate Bornstein Kate Bornstein 20091203)

It is rare that I pick up a book and see my life reflected in the words inside it. Bear Bergman has written parts of my life down for me to look at from another direction—a funny, compassionate, nimble-tongued and Jewish direction. I want to give a copy of this book to everyone in my family, with love.
—Ivan E. Coyote, author of The Slow Fix (Ivan E. Coyote 20100104)

An intellectually whip-smart and engagingly personal collection of essays about gender and its assorted – and sometimes confounding – permutations and combinations.... a candid, self-effacing and generously instructive primer on proud transmasculine life.
—Richard Labonte, Book Marks (Book Marks 20100107)

Bergman's writing style is witty, razor sharp and super smart. Ze also writes about gender with a sensitivity that is hard to find. Bergman tackles the difficult intricacies of the terrain of gender with grace and humor.
Feministing.com (Feministing 20100111)

A sweet and tender collection.
Capital Xtra! (Capital Xtra! 20100114)

Self-described gender-jammer S. Bear Bergman is an very courageous individual, though I suspect ze would react to that by turning red and looking down at hir shoes while muttering something self-deprecating. But The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You, a collection of essays on being trans, negates any argument you might have about Bear’s intestinal fortitude. Courage fairly drips off these pieces, but it’s not the stern John Wayne type. It’s a common sense, do-what-you-have-to-do type ballsiness leavened with humor. Oh yes. Bear is a very funny writer indeed. So funny you almost forget there’s a point to be made. Almost.
Out in Print blog (Out in Print 20100219)

Bergman's elegantly written collection of essays chronicles life as a gender non-conformist with a laugh-out-loud sense of humor.... This engrossing memoir is highly recommended.
Gay and Lesbian Review (Gay and Lesbian Review 20100421)

Bear continues to write about the subject [of gender] in hir funny, thoughtful, insightful and touching ways. Bear continues to give a voice to all the gender incongruent people who are flipping madly through the dictionary, trying to find the words to describe the gender mess they see in the mirror. Bear ... continues to be an absolutely vital voice in our queer community.
TLA Video (TLA Video 20100427)

Bergman’s gift of storytelling illuminates the evolving nuances of queer and trans life, and one of the greatest elements of hir book is that ze has a way of making the personal not only political, but public and shared as well.... Few books discuss queer and trans topics in such a personal way, and this book does a great service to contributing to the growing canon of queer literature. By making hir experiences visible, Bergman provides yet another narrative within the LGBTQ discourse, and lengthens the spectrum of possibility even further, one essay at a time.
Feminist Review (Feminist Review 20100506)

This collection reveals a passionate and captivating storyteller at work.
Bitch (Bitch 20100609)

Smart, provocative, accessible, and funny.
GCN (Ireland) (GCN )

A second collection of autobiographical essays by Bergman, whose transmasculine gender identity is best described as "post," and who writes unabashedly about everything from gay men's bathhouses to lesbian potlucks. This is gender theory at its most accessible.
Curve (Curve )

S. Bear Bergman is a natural storyteller. As a trans-Jewish writer, Bergman is navigating uncharted literary terrain, writing "hirself" (the pronoun used in the book) into the ever-expanding landscape of contemporary queer Canadian literature. Bergman writes about hir personal experience in day-to-day life in first person without the guise of fiction. With heartbreaking honesty, ferocious wit and humour, Bergman is the best thing since hir comrade Ivan Coyote came along. Some writers just translate a story, best kept to the bound and printed page, Bergman's work is meant to be read out loud. This collection of essays can coax readers into stitches as quickly as it can tears.
The Coast (Halifax) (The Coast (Halifax) )

Broadly appealing in presentation and penetrating in content, The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You can stand its ground next to the defining works of Leslie Feinberg, Judith Halberstam, and Alison Bechdel in any queer, gender, or LGBTQ studies course... [It is] an enlightening and easily relatable examination of gender.
Counterpoise (Counterpoise )

About the Author

S. Bear Bergman is an activist, gender-jammer, performer, author of Butch Is A Noun (Suspect Thoughts), and creator of three solo theater shows (all of which won awards from the National LGBT Theatre Festival). Formerly of Massachusetts, ze recently relocated to Burlington, Ontario, Canada. Hir website is sbearbergman.com.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Arsenal Pulp Press; First Trade edition (October 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1551522640
  • ISBN-13: 978-1551522647
  • Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #541,684 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The Nearest Exit Might Be Behind You, October 29, 2009
By 
Jacqui Regina "Jacqui" (Santa Rosa, CA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You (Paperback)
I am trans and I transitioned almost six years ago. Bear speaks to my experiences, both in interactions with others and my interior struggles with facing both transition and life after transition. I am a peer counselor leading a support group and I will recommend this book and use it in bringing up issues to discuss in our group.
While the book consists in a number of essays that each stand on their own, together they speak to the trans experience, no matter where you are on the spectrum. While I identify as a trans woman, I would recommend this book as good reading for anyone to learn of the trans experience or to understand themselves.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Gender schmender, it's all relevant anyway, November 14, 2010
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This review is from: The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You (Paperback)
This book will make you laugh, and then make you think really deep thoughts, often at the very same time. Bergman says some really profound things about gender. Zis essay about New Years shows how ze handled a bad situation brilliantly with positive actions that taught everyone involved a valuable lesson, including the reader. I might be biased because I'm transgender myself, but this book has things to teach anyone who not only wants to learn about what it means to be transgender, but what it means to be human, as well.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable for any reader who is intrigued by the intersections of gender and sexuality, April 3, 2010
By 
Zavi O. (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You (Paperback)
In this impressive follow up to hir first book, "Butch is a Noun", Bear writes about the many complexities and nuances of gender and sexuality as it applies to hir life. The essays in this book range from dark to humorous, from deeply personal to abstractly philosophical, and Bear's clear writing (and dry wit) give insight into areas of gender and sexuality that are not typically discussed. An enjoyable read for anyone who enjoys or is interested in 'gender jamming'.
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