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Necessary Endings Hardcover – January 18, 2011

4.7 out of 5 stars 304 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Endings are not a tragedy to be first feared and later regretted but a necessary stage on the way to growth, says clinical psychologist and bestselling author of The One-Life Solution. Endings are a crucial way to get what we desire by shedding those things whose time has passed. The author addresses the benefits of concluding unsatisfying work or personal relationships, and he advises readers on diagnosing when the situation can be resuscitated or must be shut down. This "pruning" process can spark readers out of passivity or paralysis, getting them motivated and energized for change. With many examples of people moving on from untenable circumstances and through specific strategies for ending things well, Cloud advocates for powerful personal changes just in time for the New Year, and will give many readers the fresh start they crave. (Jan.) (c)
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“Through specific strategies for ending things well, Cloud advocates for powerful personal changes...and will give many readers the fresh start they crave.” (Publishers Weekly)

“If you’re hesitant to pull the trigger when things obviously aren’t working out, Henry Cloud’s Necessary Endings may be the most important book you read all year.” (Dave Ramsey, New York Times bestselling author of The Total Money Makeover)

“Much of what we do each day is an unnecessary waste of time and energy. This book will challenge you put a stop to things that have been getting in your way for a long time.” (Tom Rath, bestselling author of Strengths-Based Leadership)

“Having written five books about the seasons of life, I can tell you that necessary endings are the hard part. Henry Cloud is a wise, experienced, and compassionate guide through these turbulent passages.” (Bob Buford, bestelling author of Halftime and Finishing Well; founder, Leadership Network)

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: HarperBusiness (January 18, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0061777129
  • ISBN-13: 978-0061777127
  • Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.9 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (304 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,141 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Cloud is a leadership consultant, best-selling author, and speaker whose books have sold well over 5 million copies. He consults and speaks for companies and organizations in the area of leadership and performance, and is highly regarded for his ability to connect personal and interpersonal development with the needs of business.
He is a clinical psychologist and leadership consultant with a unique ability to connect with audiences. Drawing upon his broad range of experiences in private practice, leadership consulting, and media, he simplifies life's issues and gives easy to understand, practical advice. It's Dr. Cloud's humor, compassion and "in the moment" confrontation that make his approach to psychology, business and spirituality such a success.
Dr. Cloud has written, or co-written, more than twenty books, including the two-million-seller Boundaries and his most recent books, Necessary Endings, Integrity, The One Life Solution, The Law of Happiness and 9 Things You Simply Must Do. His books have sold over five million copies. His works have been reviewed and featured by such publications as The New York Times, The Wall St. Journal, The Boston Globe, The Los Angeles Times and many others. Dr. Cloud co-hosts the nationally syndicated radio program New Life Live, which is heard in over 180 markets.
As a speaker, he is a favorite at corporate events, conventions, and public arena events on a variety of topics, speaking regularly through the U.S. and internationally.
In his consulting practice, he works with leaders in a wide range of organizations and corporations, from family help firms to Fortune 25 and Fortune 500 companies. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as an organizational and leadership consultant, spending the majority of his hands-on time with CEOs and executive teams.
Dr. Cloud founded and built a health care company which operated treatment centers in forty markets in the Western U.S. for which he served as Clinical Director for ten years. In that context of hands-on clinical experience, he developed and researched many of the treatment principles and methods that he communicates to audiences now. After selling the company, he devoted his time to consulting and coaching, spreading principles of hope and life-change through speaking, writing and media.
He is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, earning a B.S. in psychology with honors. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in the area of homelessness and the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I used to think "Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life," was Cloud's best book. I just changed my mind. This is possibly the most powerful book I've read in the last three years. If you are co-dependent, a recovering co-dependent or anyone who grew up or is in dysfunctional relationships, you will truly appreciate this book. If you are a boss, manager, CEO, supervisor or anyone who works with people you will LOVE this book. Even the healthiest person runs into dysfunctional people wherever they go. Cloud gives you great tips on how to spot a "fool," a "wise man" and the evil people among us; as well as tips on how to deal with them.

* * *
Looking back at the time I left an alcoholic partner "for MY OWN GOOD," I can see some seed of sanity and an understanding that some endings were necessary. This book simply validates what I've suspected all along - better to cut your losses as soon as you see they're losses - and run. It's more than that of course, but the theme is the same. Endings are beginnings in disguise.

* * *

I literally wept with relief when I read his VERY SIMPLE and extremely practical and FOOLPROOF method for dealing with "fools." It so works. It so works!! Just so you know, Cloud considers a fool someone who refuses to accept or look at feedback. Being a fool has NOTHING to do with intelligence, skills or capabilities and everything to do with not being able to accept reality. Some of the smartest men and women on the planet are "fools" and some of the least intelligent are wise. It all has to do with whether you can listen and accept feedback (not critical shaming criticism - but real FEEDBACK).
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
OK. I admit I'm going out on a limb, but I've already found a contender for my Top-10 book list for 2011. The chapter titles are powerful enough. The actual chapters are pure dynamite. Example:
--The Wise, the Foolish, and the Evil: Identifying Which Kinds of People Deserve Your Trust (Chapter 7)
--Pruning: Growth Depends on Getting Rid of the Unwanted or Superfluous (Chapter 2)
--When Stuck Is the New Normal: The Difference Between Pain with a Purpose and Pain for No Good Reason (Chapter 4)
--Sustainability: Taking Inventory of What Is Depleting Your Resources (Chapter 13)

Dr. Henry Cloud, a leadership coach to CEOs and business executives, and a clinical psychologist, has introduced a new term into the leadership lexicon: the pruning moment.

He defines the pruning moment as "that clarity of enlightenment when we become responsible for making the decision to own the vision or not. If we own it, we have to prune. If we don't, we have decided to own the other vision, the one we called average. It is a moment of truth that we encounter almost every day in many, many decisions."

Cloud melds the personal and the professional in this pruning manual of memorable stories and principles and shows why they must go hand-in-hand--and why lack of character on the personal side is often the unseen obstacle to "necessary endings" on the business side.

"Getting to the next level," Cloud writes, "always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on." He takes Peter Drucker's "planned abandonment" and "sloughing off yesterday" themes (see my Results Bucket chapter) and delivers a detailed road map for arriving at your preferred destination.
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Format: Hardcover
This book could not have come at a better time. I am an extremely positive person. I always try and make the best of it, turn it around, fix it, change it, morph it...essentially, I do everything but end it! I have never been good at letting things go because it's painful to me, to the other person, I have invested so much time/energy, and of course I hope that they or it, will change. Dr. Cloud illustrates in such a straightforward way, how there is such a thing as "good hopelessness". In this book, Dr. Cloud gives you the tools to decide wether you are dealing with a wise, foolish, or evil person. These tools helped me see reality clearly, and realize that until I let go of what is not good, I am not going to find what is good...and sometimes this means letting go of what is good to find great. Bottom line...this book made me realize that always being too positive, can actually have negative consequences if you don't know when or how to get to a "good hopelessness". Negative can be positive! Wether it's business or personal, the illustrations in this book will help you diagnose and make the proper endings.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book is written primarily for business owners and from their prospective. I was hoping the book would also focus on people working in business, not only the owners and/or the boss. I would like to see more books written on this topic with various perspectives in mind. I am glad to realize that there are endings that are necessary; I just wish I had realized this when I was going through a difficult time as an employee.
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