22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Clearly written but sometimes contradictory advice, June 30, 2005
This review is from: Negaholics: How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around (Paperback)
Carter-Scott defines a Negaholic as a person who sees themself in the worst light possible, not as they really are, because they have been thinking in patterns that reinforce this flawed image. The greatest strength of this book is that it was clearly written with lots of easy to understand examples. One that I found useful was the explanation that negaholics use negativity to give themselves attention. So when they mess up and freak out the freaking out acts as a reinforcement. Likewise when they do something right it is no big deal hence no reinforcement. The section on changing this pattern to start reinforcing positive actions was useful.
Many of the ways to affirm yourself are very corny. Carter-Scott at one point provides a list of affirming statements to read to yourself each morning. Taping them by your bathroom mirror and reading them to yourself each morning will leave you feeling like that Saturday Night Live sketch: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And gosh darn it people like me!" Exercises in the book are useful, but corny like that.
My greatest misgiving about Negaholics is that the advice given can be contradictory. For example, a very early example tells of a woman who described her family and childhood as "wonderful", but from asking specific questions about her past Carter-Scott found that her parents were alcoholics and that one of her siblings was now in a mental asylum. Here Carter-Scott tells us not to lie to ourselves about the past and to honestly examine our childhood's to better understand ourselves now. In a later chapter Carter-Scott has an entire chapter on putting a positive spin on our pasts, including telling us that "its never to late to have a good childhood" and listing ways that we can emphasize the positive and forget the negative in our pasts. Which advice should I take?
In fact her way of dealing with negativity seems to rely heavily on rewriting our pasts. The idea is that negaholics are going to see the glass as half empty and tend to place blame on themselves. As a solution Carter-Scott tells us to find ways to view reality such that we are always right. Either way we are deluded, so be deluded in the way that makes you happy. That didn't sit well with me and Carter-Scott's support for this position didn't win me over.
In summary this book is a quick read and presents lots of examples and useful ways of analyzing yourself and situations. It does have useful strategies for thinking through things and for affirming yourself. One the other hand the advice here is sometimes contradictory. This is a book you will be able to read cover to cover but if you are hoping for consistency you will not find it here.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
cheesy but effective, October 17, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Negaholics: How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around (Paperback)
I seem to be addicted to self-help books, so I think I can sound off here. I really liked this book. Maybe I'm not the "everything sucks, life is terrible" type, but I get stuck in negative patterns like everyone else. Instead of preaching about symptoms and identifying the problem, this book gave me concrete ideas on how to deal with life's little kicks in the shins. The suggestions were great -- better than a book that just said "hey, you're negative, isn't that awful?" it gave you exercises to PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR PATTERNS. And that made all the difference.
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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent, workable help to overcome one's negativism., June 25, 1999
By A Customer
Cherie Carter-Scott delivers a readable, workable solution to overcoming the negaholic within. The examples are realistic and helpful in determining one's own dilemmas or help someone else with their's. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with negative thoughts, has a gloomy perspective on life, or lives with someone who has. Following her guidance can be amazingly and cheerfully life-changing.
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