Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much [Hardcover]

Herb Cohen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 17, 2003

As a result of his extensive negotiating experience and his unique presentation style, Herb Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can quickly grasp both sides of an issue and get the most for his client out of a difficult negotiation. His advice? 'Simple,' says Herb, 'I care...but not that much!' In this new book - and in his humorous and self-deprecating style - Herb Cohen explains how the reader can learn powerful yet subtle negotiating ploys to help them in their business, career, and even family relationships. As Herb says, 'Negotiation is the game of life.'

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Cohen is an accomplished, successful negotiator, a talent that appears largely attributable to his creative intelligence, his intense focus on attaining his client's goals and a negotiating style that is low-key, humorous and flexible. His primary message in this book is the negotiator's need to cultivate a certain detachment-hence the book's subtitle. It also offers street-smart advice on effective demeanor, a cooperative style and the bargaining process. About a third of the book is devoted to the "perceptual TIP"-in which Cohen explains how to manipulate the perceived levels of time, information and power to create an advantage in negotiations. All of this advice is buried in an entertaining melange of stories ranging from biblical tales through real-life business negotiations to everyday activities (such as convincing one's kids to come home on time), all delivered in the same unassuming tone one presumes Cohen uses at the bargaining table. Of less interest is an odd chapter that combines the author's advice on terrorism and parenting and 40 pages of appendixes that reproduce documents and articles relating to the Iranian hostage crisis, Clinton's Camp David Summit in 2000 and 20-year-old warnings about the threat of terrorism. Unfortunately, the book's content is often only loosely related, as though gathered in chunks from a couple of decades of speeches or seminars. Within the chapters, new sections repeatedly interrupt mid-story. The result is a book that features the practical wisdom of experience and the ring of authority, but sometimes wanders beyond the limits of the reader's patience.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Why has it taken master negotiator Cohen more than two decades to produce a sequel to You Can Negotiate Anything ? Perhaps the accumulation of additional clarifying experience, as his angle this time is detached involvement or conscious inattention. Or, because many of his original fan club have matured, he has geared this book to a new, younger audience of business people. No matter the motivation, Cohen as always gives good advice, picking examples as unrelated as Moses' negotiations with the Almighty to Jackie Gleason's landmark deal with then-CBS head William Paley. The lessons are many: Successful persuaders are optimistic, regular guys, and employ self-deprecating humor. Remember to differentiate yourself--and enjoy every day. Negotiation is a problem-solving process. Expect at least one gem every few pages, along with a lot of great stories. Just say yes to an avalanche of reader requests. Barbara Jacobs
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Business Plus; 1 edition (September 17, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446529737
• ISBN-13: 978-0446529730
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #594,323 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Welcome to Uncle Herb's Attic, November 3, 2003

By 

Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much (Hardcover)

Pretend that Cohen is your Uncle Herb. He is an internationally renowned expert on negotiation. You express an interest. He invites you to follow him into the attic of his home where he begins to remove from a chest all manner of papers. They are only casually organized. He is intimately familiar with each document. And each document inspires Uncle Herb to share an anecdote, aphorism, or even a complete story. "Everybody tells me I should write a book about all this!" Well, he has. This is it. What it lacks in cohesion it more than makes up for with fascinating experiences which Cohen has accumulated over many years.

He organizes (if that's the word) his material within twelve chapters which range from "The Joy of Detached Involvement" to my personal favorite, "The Game of Life." His advice is eminently practical. At the end of each chapter, he provides a cluster of what he calls "Prominent Points." Here are a few:

"Always view yourself as a problem solver, searching for creative alternatives that can satisfy both sides' real concerns and interests." (Chapter I)

"Concessions are not appreciated unless effort is expended to obtain them." (Chapter V)

"As the deadline approaches, remain confident and composed. Fretting and fussing is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." (Chapter VII)

"What matters is not what power you've got, but what the other side thinks you've got." (Chapter IX)

With all due respect to the "Prominent Points," if you are looking for a comprehensive manual on negotiation -- filled with check lists, detailed case studies, etc. -- this isn't it. So what is it? As I attempted to suggest earlier, Cohen's style is informal, conversational really. He shares a wealth of information about his career and discusses several important lessons that he learned about human nature. The subtitle suggests the importance of caring about the given issues but not T-H-A-T much. So really, Cohen spends most of his time on the psychology of negotiation rather than on its mechanics. One clue to his attitude is revealed by the last of the "Prominent Points" at the end of the last chapter: "With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love vial e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent strategies and fun to read., September 12, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much (Hardcover)

How can you get people to say "yes" to you? Herb Cohen knows. He packs a lot of punch into 300+ pages: colorful anecdotes from decades of his own negotiations, wise examples from the Book of Exodus to Winston Churchill, the importance of humor ("Humor, of course, is no laughing matter"), and how to turn powerlessness into power. Cohen's prophecies about mideast terrorism, first written in the mid-1980s, show he was way ahead of everyone else. I found his section on Jimmy Carter's bungling of the Iran hostage crisis to be particularly thought provoking - and infuriating - and very relevant to the world's post 9/11 crises. Highest recommendation.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars NEGOTIATE THIS!, September 30, 2003

By 

LINDA P LOFTUS - See all my reviews

This review is from: Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much (Hardcover)

It's a mistake to label this solely as a self-help book. It's so much more. Mr. Cohen has given readers a masterpiece - - a humorous page-turner that's filled with a philosophy of life that comes to most of us, if ever, only through long and arduous trial and error.
As someone who has spent decades reading non-fiction books about selling, negotiating and human behavior, "Negotiate This" by far and away the champion - a tour de force.