Customer Reviews

Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Pretend that Cohen is your Uncle Herb. He is an internationally renowned expert on negotiation. You express an interest. He invites you to follow him into the attic of his home where he begins to remove from a chest all manner of papers. They are only casually organized. He is intimately familiar with each document. And each document inspires Uncle Herb to share an anecdote, aphorism, or even a complete story. "Everybody tells me I should write a book about all this!" Well, he has. This is it. What it lacks in cohesion it more than makes up for with fascinating experiences which Cohen has accumulated over many years.

He organizes (if that's the word) his material within twelve chapters which range from "The Joy of Detached Involvement" to my personal favorite, "The Game of Life." His advice is eminently practical. At the end of each chapter, he provides a cluster of what he calls "Prominent Points." Here are a few:

"Always view yourself as a problem solver, searching for creative alternatives that can satisfy both sides' real concerns and interests." (Chapter I)

"Concessions are not appreciated unless effort is expended to obtain them." (Chapter V)

"As the deadline approaches, remain confident and composed. Fretting and fussing is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." (Chapter VII)

"What matters is not what power you've got, but what the other side thinks you've got." (Chapter IX)

With all due respect to the "Prominent Points," if you are looking for a comprehensive manual on negotiation -- filled with check lists, detailed case studies, etc. -- this isn't it. So what is it? As I attempted to suggest earlier, Cohen's style is informal, conversational really. He shares a wealth of information about his career and discusses several important lessons that he learned about human nature. The subtitle suggests the importance of caring about the given issues but not T-H-A-T much. So really, Cohen spends most of his time on the psychology of negotiation rather than on its mechanics. One clue to his attitude is revealed by the last of the "Prominent Points" at the end of the last chapter: "With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love vial e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."

How can you get people to say "yes" to you? Herb Cohen knows. He packs a lot of punch into 300+ pages: colorful anecdotes from decades of his own negotiations, wise examples from the Book of Exodus to Winston Churchill, the importance of humor ("Humor, of course, is no laughing matter"), and how to turn powerlessness into power. Cohen's prophecies about mideast terrorism, first written in the mid-1980s, show he was way ahead of everyone else. I found his section on Jimmy Carter's bungling of the Iran hostage crisis to be particularly thought provoking - and infuriating - and very relevant to the world's post 9/11 crises. Highest recommendation.

It's a mistake to label this solely as a self-help book. It's so much more. Mr. Cohen has given readers a masterpiece - - a humorous page-turner that's filled with a philosophy of life that comes to most of us, if ever, only through long and arduous trial and error.
As someone who has spent decades reading non-fiction books about selling, negotiating and human behavior, "Negotiate This" by far and away the champion - a tour de force.

Two decades ago I read "You Can Negotiate Anything" and was blown away by Herb Cohen's wise observations and tips. Since then it has been my bible for interpersonal dealings and saved me tens of thousands of dollars.

Surprisingly, Herb's new book "Negotiate This" is even better. It's a riot to read and contains practical examples and anecdotes that can be easily applied. Without a doubt it's the best self-help book I've ever read.

If you want to understand and predict human behavior and have the power to make things happen, buy and read this book.
Very Highly Recommended!

Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much
by Herb Cohen

I had the pleasure of attending one of Herb Cohen's speeches several years ago on becoming a master of persuasion, and perfecting the art of meaningful negotiation. Of course, by that time, his signature work, You Can Negotiate Anything was already a must read book destined to become a masterpiece. That book, now 23 years old and still packing a solid punch will find company in the aforemention's current offering. Now comes Negotiate This! Albeit, with an interesting subtitle, "By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much", it gives the impressionable image that there's more to the title as implication would have you view it. It is inevitable that this author's seminal work, and a new twist to gaining footholds on how to win at an effective personal developmental tool would lend one to believe that there's something new to the game, and as you read Negotiate This! you'll be able to see just how different it is, yet some of the same principles in the former are present and prominent in the latter.

Please be reminded that the purpose of this expose is not to draw parallels, but rather, to aim the reader's perspective in communicating how personal allegorical and simple logical insight to view experienced behavioral patterns can make a difference in positioning yourself to turn no's into yeses. In this book, you will find out why Cohen is such an accomplished, successful negotiator, a talent that personifies his creative intelligence, his intense focus on using the art of persuasion and emphasizing a negotiating style that is subliminal, entertaining and flexible. The primary message in this book is the negotiator's need to cultivate a certain aloofness, or employ an analogy to suggest a detached sense of awareness but still be able to take in the seriousness of what one should be doing to win -- hence the book's subtitle. I like the way he uses well-placed metaphors to color the street-smart advice on effective demeanor, an implied uniqueness to style and the importance of the bargaining process. As I read, I wanted to have the answers that kept cropping up in my head. To wit: Is it possible to create advantages in negotiations? When would you know that you have the upper hand? What ploys should be used to project a preeminent air to intimidate your adversary?

Cohen manages to do an excellent job in explaining all of the above. As such, manipulating the perceived levels of time, information and positioning to create an advantage in negotiations is a must to foster the image that knowledge is indeed power. In the process he gives a perfect if not defining analogy of what negotiating is all about while using three precepts. He opines: "Negotiating often involves the managing of conflict. At times, however, some conflicts that come your way need not be confronted but should be avoided. If you have some perspective you can see things beginning to develop and use your lead time to adopt a blueprint of avoidance, then do so. Another strategy that comes with distance is to diffuse or reconcile differences before they even come to a head. Finally, a third option is to confront the problem directly looking for alternate solutions that will provide for joint gain and build mutually beneficial relationships"

All in all, this is an excellent read, but may not be anything new for those that feel that it's an old rehashment of an earlier atonement on the same subject. In my opinion, there were a few things of less interest, and despite the book's verbosity in odd places nothing should be taken away from the author's unique expressionism in illustrating points that can make the difference between winning or losing arguable points of contention in negotiating détente. The result is a book that is quite useful, practical, and uses Herb Cohen's experience and success as a hallmark for authoritative wisdom. Read it for yourself to draw conclusive evidence for any limitations on patience and perseverance. I rate it five stars out of five!

Once again Cohen has knocked another homerun out of Ebbetts Field. This kid who negotiated on the streets of Brooklyn and now does it for the U.S. Government and Fortune 500 Corporations is the best negotiator in the business. I would not want him to try to buy a car off of me if I were a car salesman. This book is the best I have read in negotiation techniques. Cohen gives you the skills necessary for you to enter any negotiation and come out a winner. A must by for the businessman as well as the houswife.

Herb Cohen's YOU CAN NEGOTIATE ANYTHING is my all-time
favorite book on negotiations . . . I still recommend it as the
absolute best book ever written on the subject.

Amazingly, that book was written in 1980 and Cohen did not
write a follow-up until now . . . as he notes in the Acknowledgments to his latest effort, NEGOTIATE THIS!, "This book has been incubating in me for some time. To be sure, if you believe in the academic axiom, 'publish or perish,' I would be long dead."

Fortunately, that is not the case. Cohen lives, and that's a great thing because NEGOTIATE THIS! is a worthy successor to his earlier effort . . . it is filled with useful examples and practical advice that is applicable to virtually any negotiation.

In fact, that is one of the real strengths of the book; i.e., it will be useful to a wide range of folks--salespeople, diplomats, even parents. (A whole chapter is devoted to them!)

The key is to keep in mind the subtitle to NEGOTIATE THIS! . . . you can succeed BY CARING, BUT NOT T-H-A-T MUCH.

There were several memorable passages; among them:
* Basically, there is a twofold explanation for why we often do not achieve our potential as negotiators. One, as we've seen, is that we are too emotionally involved, caring too much. The second reason is that we have too much authority. What I'm saying is that the last person who should negotiate for a country, corporation, or business is the chief executive officer. Take that one step further and realize that the worst person to negotiate for you is-you. Clearly this presents
a practical problem that can be solved by limiting your own authority. Always give yourself room to say, "That sounds good to me but I'll have to check with my board." If you don't have a board, then substitute the word banker, attorney, adviser, boss, or even spouse.

* What is really happening? This experienced salesman was merely
playing the game. He knew that offers that come from the side of
the mouth in soft tones have 37 percent more credibility that those made in a normal fashion.

* Years ago, when I was first employed by a particular government
agency, they asked for my fee schedule. At the time, I really wanted this assignment, but we both knew there was no way they could afford my regular price.

Then, during a face-to-face meeting, I said, "Honestly, I want to work with you on this. Since I trust you 100 percent, I know you'll get me as much money as you can. Whatever that amount is, I'll still do it."

Two months later when I arrived at their headquarters, I learned
from a third party that my negotiating partner had spent endless
time and energy looking for ways to increase my fee. Finally, he
had to go into the next year's budget for additional funds.

Herb Cohen has done it again! With his humor and wisdom he has created yet another masterpiece. He is brilliant in his approach of delivering a message that makes it easy for a reader to grasp and, more importantly, apply these phenomenal negotiation techniques to win in almost any area of one's life. Herb uses stories to illustrate valid points. There is simply no better way to learn. Herb makes the subject of negotiation a fun and enlightening learning experience providing so much value. Invest in this book and you'll see your investment returned to you multiplied.

Let me start with what this book is. It is a collection of stories from Herb's personal experience and from historical figures.
Story-telling: 3/5

Generic pieces of advice such as "Before the strategic interaction occurs, establish a specific and measurable goal that gives direction to your activities." are then offered as "Prominent Points", supposedly resulting from the lessons learned from those stories. A very tentative connection! A very common mistake in self-improvement books is the implied causality: You do as I did (in that one particular instance 35 years ago!!!), and you will achieve the same result ...
Methodological/scientific foundations: 1/5

Some stories and issues have even been repeated from "You Can Negotiate Anything", perhaps the author feels strongly about them or perhaps no better example could be found.
Novelty: 1/5

The relevancy and value (to business negotiators and to individuals negotiating their salaries, cars and houses) of book sections dealing with international negotiations and politics (arm-twisting by the only truly powerful nation) is dubious, but will certainly be liked by many.
Relevance of examples: 2/5

What this book isn't? A systematic and deep overview of negotiation strategies, premises, styles and tactics. A mentally stimulating journey through the fascinating subject.

Complete coverage of the subject: 2/5
Mental stimulation and inspirational value: 3/5

For serious and relatively advanced students of negotiation, this could be a mildly interesting, although lowbrow read. For those who are hoping to gain a solid understanding of the negotiating process based on this book only - look elsewhere!

You won't be bored, but you wont be ecstatic, either.
Entertainment value: 2/5

Personally, although I have read at least a dozen negotiating books that are inferior to this one, my concluding thoughts after reading this work were: unremarkable, mildly disappointing. I honestly could not give it 3/5 even if my arm was twisted ...

From the small things to major life decisions, Cohen's book is funny, concise and well thought out. A great primer for negotiating and a quick read.