Neil Pasricha works an office job in the suburbs, eats frozen burritos for dinner, and needs to go to the gym more. He's just a regular guy who loves the smell of gasoline, sleeping on the cool side of the pillow, and peeling an orange in one shot.
Welcome to the dark.
. It’s time to assess your nightwalking skills, young warrior:
. Level 1: Fresh soldier. You’ve got confidence to try getting around in the dark but you’re just no good yet. Maybe you moved into a new place and are stubbing your toes on walls, stepping on your cat, and constantly flipping bathroom fans instead of light switches. You get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and end up in the laundry room or linen closet with your
Packed boxes are ghosts.
After you move into your shiny new place those cardboard demons haunt your hallways and basements for months and months and months. You see them hiding behind drain pipes in the storage room, lingering between boots in the closet, and even subbing in for missing furniture. (Seriously, I can’t be the only one with a corrugated bedside table.)
Now see, that’s why it’s so satisfying when you finally unpack the last one. Throw those VHS tapes on a bookshel
You’re a walking talking Grandma.
Well, if you made it this far then I think life’s treated you pretty gosh-darned well. You got born into a brave new world full of possibilities and you grew up and grew into someone who’s managed to spread their life, ideas, and sensibilities deep and down into future generations so they can keep our planet spinning and spinning into better places.
Lean back on that creaky rocker and smile in the dusty sunbeams by the
Check out the sun.
It’s just a big ball of fire swirling high in the sky.
Plants, heat, life, pretty sunsets — damn girl, that’s some good deals for free.
Yes, we owe a lot to that friendly fireball so it’s no wonder one of the Greatest Things We Ever Did was make fire in its likeness here on Earth. So first up, let’s just stop for a moment today and close our eyes to say “Good job, Cavemen.”
Now these days whether you’re sitting on a wet log around a smoky cam
Life’s too short to be uncomfortable.
Look, we already figured it out at nighttime: baggy flannel keeping you cozy in the cold, smooth and silky underthings slipping and sliding in the sheets, and extra-large sweatpants and thin fraying T’s help keep us relaxed when we’re sawing wood and breathing Z’s.
Yet somehow during the day we’re fine stiffening ourselves up: high heels, skin-tight jeans, and tight bras mean we’re often uncomfortably pretty.
That’s why wearing paj
I eat out a lot.
I’m not proud of it but living alone downtown surrounded by greasy burger joints, neon sandwich signs, and late-night pizza places means I’m often tempted to trade a crinkly fiver for a waxy-wrapped package in a paper bag.
Sometimes I step into the zone of an empty sub shop or barren pizza place and it feels like I’m walking onto a late night talk show stage. Someone’s filling napkin dispensers while another chops tomatoes and they’ll be joking like Johnny Car