Customer Reviews

Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese

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1 star:		(2)

 

 

The dry, intellectual wit of Mike Nelson is as endearing in print as it was on film. The former host of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" has once again stepped forward to show the rest of us that--yes--bad movies can be fun!

"Movie Megacheese" is a collection of essays focusing on movies that are endearingly devoid of plot, character development, proper lighting, and occasionally, dialogue. His tone, though, is never condescending. If you look beneath the humor, you will find a man who does not hide his affinity for these film-makers. Talent? No, they don't have it...but dang it, they're not going to let that stop them!

I do think you will enjoy this book, even if you are not familiar with "MST3K". It is laugh out loud funny, timeless and enjoyable to read. And hey,...it even makes a lovely drink coaster when you're done!

I will admit that I had doubts about MIKE NELSON'S MOVIE MEGACHEESE when I first learned of it. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 was one of the funniest shows on the air, and, as head writer, Mike Nelson was probably one of the most influential people working for the show. What I worried about was whether the jokes and jeers that he had made over the years would work in review form where we don't have the sheer awfulness of the film to look at. I am glad to say that all of my fears were greatly unfounded. This book is hilarious and scores a solid bull's-eye for every target that it takes aim at.

While the television series was stuck with only making fun of low-budget howlers that no one had heard of, here Nelson is free to mock any movie or celebrity he feels like. He certainly doesn't pull any punches; Bruce Willis, Adam Sandler, MIGHTY JOE YOUNG, THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY and other worthy contenders are all mercilessly heckled here in a way that should be very familiar to any fan of MST3k. The jokes come fast and furious and, just like the show, if you don't pay attention, a lot of funny material will pass you by.

The book is vaguely organized into five sections, and consists of scores of short essays and reviews on current films and celebrities. No offering lasts for more than four pages, so if there's something in there you don't like (if you have a fanatical devotion to EVENT HORIZON or Carrot Top) then you don't have very far to read until the next selection. These short bursts prevent the book from falling into dull repetition; there are not really too many things that one can say about WHAT DREAMS MAY COME so the book never feels like it's outstaying it's welcome -- quick joke and then onto the next film. Who would have thought that Sex Pistols songs and movie reviews would have so much in common?

In any case, this book comes with the highest of recommendations. Even if he blasts one of your favourite films or actors, you still won't be able to resist laughing. And if the above wasn't recommendation enough, there's a killingly funny photograph on the back inside cover of Mr. Nelson in a smoking jacket, holding a pipe and wearing the most pretentious expression you'll ever see on a man who spoke to puppets for five years. Own it.

As an avid fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 I have been aware of Mike Nelson's keen sense of humor for a while now. But he truly has outdone himself with this book, in which he delivers swift, crushing vengeance to the bad movies that plague our society. For all of us unable to express our feeling of confusion, hatred and general ickiness toward the movies we hate, Nelson taps into them and manages to even make them funny. And it doesn't stop there, he takes it a step FURTHER and mocks all of the bloated, ego obsessed "stars" who make these vile movies! I highly reccomend this book. The amount of entertainment it gives you will be well worth the money. My one complaint is that it had to end. I sincerely hope that Mike writes another -- how about some reviews of "Overboard" and "Battlefield Earth", along with a scathing commentary on the works of the uber mono-emotion wonder Freddie Prinze Jr.?

This book is hilarious. There were times went I felt like I needed an oxygen mask because I was laughing so hard. If you're familiar with Mike Nelson from MST3K (rest in peace!), then you might be a bit surprised because the riffs here focus on modern day blockbusters and the such from the past decade instead of the cheeseball efforts they mercilessly ridiculed. He even tears into marketing hype machines and action movie logic (you'll never see a Jean Claude Van Damme film the same way again, not that you probably should). Oh, and his review of Val Kilmer-Michael Douglas's "The Ghost and the Darkness" is even funnier than the film itself. There's even sections devoted to television and celebrities (he even has the cha-chas to review the Penn family). And as an added bonus, there's even a review of MST3K: The Movie. If you're really knowledgeable about pop culture and need a good laugh, I highly recommend this book!

This book gives you an idea of what MST3K could have been if Mike and the gang had been allowed to give the treatment to mainstream Hollywood movies instead of the B-movie dreck that was their usual fare (not that they were anything less than hilarious mocking *that* stuff.) What strikes me about Mike's prose is that he seems to model it after H.L. Mencken, of all people. The long elaborate metaphors and sentences, the superb mocking abuse--Mike seems to be a throwback to a style like that of an earlier, more literate generation of humorists than you usually get these days. He's much tougher than Joel Hodgson ever was; Joel had a more playful, almost poetic style, while Mike usually goes directly for the throat. Plus, anyone who will wear a dress in order to review a Julia Roberts movie gets thumbs up from me.

No, not Mike Nelson from "Sea Hunt," played by Lloyd Bridges (that might actually make an interesting book, although I'd guess each film review would have, about halfway through, the words "By this time, my lungs were aching for air.") but Mike Nelson from "Mystery Science Theater 3000." Now why would a guy whose previous job consisted of watching really, really bad movies and making humorous comments on them take on a *second* job...consisting of watching really, really bad movies and making humorous comments on them? What's the difference? Well, a much bigger budget, for one. Not necessarily for Mike (although if I had my way I'd personally hand him one fresh crisp dollar bill for each and every time I snorted or guffawed out loud reading this book on the subway). I mean bigger budgets for the *movies* he's reviewing/skewering: bloated, mega-million-dollar studio crap like "Wild Things," "Independence Day," "You've Got Mail," and "Lost in Space." Be assured: this is not movie criticism of the type you expect from Roger, Rex, or that guy with the Brillo hair. Sure, he attacks the easy targets: the Baldwins, Joe Eszterhas, Brando, Pamela Lee...but hey, who *hasn't*? What's different between Mike Nelson and you and me sitting on a couch yakking about movies is that Mike is actually *funny*. Imagine if Dave Barry wrote movie reviews. Okay, now imagine that Dave Barry, Dave Barry's fans, and Mike Nelson himself won't want to hunt me down and string me up me for that analogy. But it's a similar off-hand, sarcastic, "normal-guy" tone with lots of jokey asides and a never-ending disdain for the lack of intelligence Hollywood has (or thinks we have). Mike asks the hard questions Siskel and Ebert never addressed: In "The Bridges of Madison Country," why on earth would Meryl Streep find bathing in Clint Eastwood's backwash erotic? Why does "Face/Off" have a "/" in the title? And why Bruce Willis? (Why? Why?) And it's hard not to agree with his well-argued thesis that, for the sake of all humanity, Jim Carrey must be destroyed. It's the perfect antidote to the big blockbuster movie season, and I can only hope that a sequel is due soon, `coz the quicker Mike writes about "Gladiator," "Frequency," and "X-Men," the sooner I can find something to dull the memory of those six hours in my life. So, buy Mike's book if you want to laugh out loud more than you ever thought about the excesses of Hollywood. Mike has made me look at movies in a whole new way. Well, actually, that's a lie: I still think about movies in the same old way: as overblown, overstuffed billion-dollar ego-trips that amuse and pacify me because of their hypnotic flickering movements. But hey, at least *I* spent my hard-earned 15 bucks on this book rather than seeing "M:I 2" 1.58 times. You know who you are. If you just walked out of "The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas" thinking, "Well, that was kind of fun," then run, don't walk, folks, to get this book, and *fast*.

I work in a bookstore and came across this book one day when I was shelving. I am a big fan of Mystery Science and was pretty positive this book was going to be hysterical. Mike did not let me down. This was the funniest book I have ever read. My boyfriend, who is also a fan, was so jealous of all the laughing that I ended up reading almost the entire book out loud to him. We were laughing so hard my brother came in and asked,"What's so funny?" If you want to spend an afternoon laughing till your sides ache, buy this book! Please Mike you've got to write more books and fast.

As a long-time fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (the television show in which Mike Nelson was head writer and had the starring role for several seasons) I bought this book simply to get a fresh dose of Mike. The series was unfortunately cancelled after the 10th season and MSTies all over the planet (including myself) are running around like heroin addicts looking for a fix. This book is it.

In Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese he roasts big-budget Hollywood movies with the same sense of humor he formerly aimed at low-budget movies on MST3K. While the TV show had a limited budget and couldn't afford the rights to big productions, the book has no such restriction. If MST3K had an unlimited budget, this book would be the script.

A great book from a great author. It's organized into chapters by movie, and my only suggestion is that if you haven't seen the movie for that chapter you should rent it before reading. His jokes are a lot funnier that way. ;)

Executive Summary: INCREDIBLY FUNNY!

Laugh-out-loud reviews that display an incredible sense of culture. Mike Nelson takes on modern Hollywood cinema with his unique wit. The net result is a much more entertaining review than your typical stuffy newspaper review. Not recommended for drinking with milk (unless you like snorting milk out your nose...)

Mike Nelson the MST3K-commentator and Mike Nelson the movie reviewer are two somewhat different styles of humor, yet they spring from the same source. MST3K is a little more cozy than this book, which tends to be a little dryer and a slight bit more cynical in its humor style. Nonetheless, this book has you laughing out loud real quickly. For those people who are disappointed by the overmarketed, ill-plotted state of blockbuster Hollywood cinema today, this book is a one-way laugh trip around some of the most uninspired messes of Hollywood icons out there. It is possible (likely?) that he will poke some good-natured fun of a film or actor that you hold dear, so readers with sensitive hearts should stand back. For those who can laugh at life and admire the mass of culture that is stored in Mike Nelson's head, this book is for you.

One note: A good portion of the reviews originally came from monthly columns written for the DVD review section of "Home Theater" magazine. (A magazine dedicated to, what else, recreating the cinema experience at home, ie DVDs / big screen TVs / Dolby 5.1...) A casual reader might find all of the references to DVDs a tad odd and repetitive, but this is the reason for the references being there. For those who were a fan of Mike Nelson's "Home Theater" columns (which sadly have been retired due to Mike Nelson's desire to move on), this is a great collection of some of his best columns over the years - plus many additional gems.

Mike Nelson loves to loathe, and no bad film, self-absorbed star, crappy cartoon or even high-school gym coach escapes his gentle wrath in the very funny "Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese."

Nelson, one of the architects of the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000," can be both stunningly erudite and vigorously low-brow ... often in the same sentence: "Julianne (Julia Roberts' character in My Best Friend's Wedding) meets her competition, and immediately launches a campaign of savage mental cruelty, scheming like Richard III, or Mr. Drysdale."

Nelson turns his Tommy Gun of upper midwestern sarcasm on such deserving targets as chick flicks ("Watching Sleepless in Seattle is like being stabbed repeatedly with a Twinkie, or being beaten with a bag of doilies"), Jean Claude Van Damme ("makes Steven Seagal look like Richard Burbage"), Barbra Streisand ("born at some time during the Taft administration") and his unholy trinity of Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey ("a hideous rubbery reptile, sent from Satan himself") and Val Kilmer ("like Jerry Lewis without the dignity").

As in MST3K, Nelson shovels up huge mounds of pop-culture references: "Volcano pretty much follows the plot of Earthquake (in Sensurround), and you half-expect to see George Kennedy yelling at Lloyd Nolan, or Richard Roundtree hanging with Marjoe Gortner."

Most of all, Nelson's disgression-filled "reviews" are downright hilarious:

"If your life is going well and you have too much joy in your soul, try renting Barb Wire."

"Batman and Robin is not the worst movie ever. No, indeed. It's the worst thing ever. Yes, it's the single worst thing that we as human beings have ever produced in recorded history.

"Why is it that Manhattanites insist that you agree how unapproachably spectacular their city is? At any time, a hot blast of urine-scented air can hit you. Nora Ephron doesn't mention that."

"Once Bitten is a touching bit of necrophilia that will have you snapping off the TV with tears in your eyes, gently holding your loved ones and weeping softly into the cruel night, pleading with some unseen guest, `Is there a balm in Gilead?'"

True, Nelson's dry wit may not be for everyone. But if you've ever drunk Schaeffer's Beer or willingly eaten Tuna Helper, "Megacheese" may just keep you entertained until the next episode of People's Court comes on.